“Look! I married you a certain way! I like women who look a certain way! It’s my right to like women who look a certain way and I shouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life not being happy,” Brad exclaimed.
The retort from my friend Jasmine’s husband was a reaction to her staunch refusal to get ‘another set’ less than two months after removing the implants that nearly cost her her life. For nearly a decade Jasmine endured numerous health complications that Western doctors claimed had nothing to do with her silicone breast implants.
Brad seemed different from her last fiance, which is why Jasmine married him. He seemed open-minded, kind, forgiving, gentle, nurturing, and accepting. When she sprouted a few stray gray hairs in her late twenties he urged her not to pluck them saying he loved her “wisdom hairs.”
Tim, her boyfriend a decade earlier, told her she was perfect and the “girl of his dreams.” Well, almost. She was the girl of his dreams except her breasts were too small and she’d be perfect if they were bigger. In fact he’d marry her if she’d consider breast enlargement surgery. Within a week Jasmine, then 18 years old in 1990, found herself under the knife. When she woke up the static and lifeless silicone orbs on her chest were much larger than what she had agreed to during the initial consultation. The consultation that came within days of her halfheartedly agreeing to consider them.
Jasmine was genetically tiny and naturally beautiful by today’s standard. Now she embodied the girl on the back of a trucker’s mudflap. Tim’s version of the perfect wife. As promised, they were quickly engaged and twenty-five-year-old Tim, the ‘hot guy’ in town, paraded her around like a trophy–until she had the courage to leave him for being emotionally abusive and controlling.
I met Jasmine a few years after her plastic surgery and we became tight friends. In numerous intimate conversations she confided in me about her implants and Tim, her body image issues, and her distrust of men. These conversations were plagued by a deep sadness and marked by intense insecurity and regret. With her striking eyes and “porn star body,” Jasmine commanded a lot of male attention, attention that she deflected and tried to avoid by dressing in ways that diminished her figure.
I was one of the only people that knew how uncomfortable this attention made her and how much she longed to have her original body back. Shortly after leaving Tim, she began looking into removing the implants. She was repeatedly told by male doctors that she would be ‘disfigured’ and that there was no sound reason to have them removed. That is until they began to break down inside her body and wreak havoc on her immune system.
By the time she began noticing her brittle hair and general dis-ease, Jasmine had developed into a smart, sharp-tongued feminist with a penchant for alternative holistic medicine and healing modalities. Eight years after the initial breast implant surgery, four years after finding her feminist voice, and two years after discovering massive amounts of hair shedding on her clothes and furniture, Jasmine fell off her mountain bike with her chest landing smack down on the handle bars.
She heard an audible tear and immediately knew one of her implants had torn. She went to her doctor and he blew her off, as did the countless doctors after that. They waved her off as an irrational, over emotional, and slightly insane woman. The following year she married Brad and within months of their wedding the symptoms of a ‘crazy’ woman began to increase.
Studies have shown rupture rates to be 50% to 60% in silicone implants 10-15 years old,[24] with one study showing a failure rate of 6% per year for the first 5 years, 50% at 10 years, and 70% at 17 years.[22] Twenty-one percent of women in one study, following implant rupture, had silicone gel migration out of the fibrous capsule of scar tissue that surrounds the breast implant.[24] These studies utilized MRI, which has been shown to be 74% to 94% sensitive and 85% to 98% specific in detecting implant rupture.
Over the course of the next year:
- Her hair had become so brittle that chunks would fall out, leaving bald spots on her scalp.
- Her face was permanently bloated.
- She developed large cystic acne in her lymph node areas of her armpits, neck, jawline, and the sides of her cheeks.
- Her digestive track became paralyzed and completely shut down. She was unable to defecate for a month. It took three weeks of daily colonic treatments to remove the compacted fecal matter.
- She also began to develop cysts, which turned into tumors around her nipples and across her breasts.
Most Western doctors declared the symptoms as unrelated and, again, chalked up her concerns to the rants of a highly paranoid and overly sensitive drama queen. Jasmine had to diagnose herself through her own research on Dow Corning’s polyurethane-coated silicone breast implants and heal herself (keep herself alive) to the best of her ability by seeking out alternative health care. Her research confirmed the source of her failing health as more and more women spoke out publicly and Dow Corning endured scrutiny for their product.
Despite her list of growing health problems, many doctors encouraged her to leave them in precisely because Dow Corning was under current pressure to remove silicone from the market. Their reasoning? Silicone implants feel better than saline implants and if she were to remove her silicone implants and replace them with saline she would look and feel less desirable.
Eventually, she found a doctor that not only agreed to remove her implants, but told her that if she didn’t have them removed she wouldn’t live to see her next birthday. After long discussions with her husband, her mother, and myself, she scheduled a removal date. I took off a week from graduate school, borrowed some money from a friend, and flew five hours to be with her.
Shortly after they were removed, Jasmine regained mental clarity, felt less scattered, her body became stronger, and she felt generally relieved. And that’s when Brad dropped the bomb on her.
“When do you think you’ll be ready to replace these with the next pair with saline implants?
At this point, Dow Corning’s silicone implants were off the market (only to be reintroduced in 2006, a decision that was deemed “sound” mere days ago). Jasmine made it clear that she had no intention of replacing them. She reminded Brad that he had been supportive of her decision to remove them and that he had taken vows to love her in sickness and in health. That’s when he retorted with his right to be with a large-breasted woman, like the one he originally married. Jasmine’s feelings of rejection and fear were confounded when they divorced a year later following Brad’s affair with a buxom hostess at work. She was mortified and depressed.
Not only did Jasmine’s marriage fail, she began to notice a shift in attention from men–attention that shifted away from herself and to women now younger than she with fuller bust lines. Despite the initial pressure into getting breast implants, her regret over getting implants and the fact that they nearly ended her life, she confided in me that there were several occasions in which she contemplated getting that next pair.
Jasmine’s story reveals many things. First and foremost, it demonstrates the incredible pressure girls and women feel to embody an unrealistic and dangerous beauty ideal. It also exposes the mental and emotional health risks and the incredible and painful risks women are willing to take in order to embody an ideal of perfection. Because in the end, as bell hooks proclaims in Communion: The Female Search for Love, being beautiful is about being loved. Girls and women understand from an early age that we’re primarily valued by the way we look and that if we can achieve this oppressive beauty ideal, we’ll be rewarded. In the words of hooks, girls and women strive to “make [themselves] over, to become someone worthy of love.”
Like more and more women, Jasmine became aware of the damaging fallout caused from pursuing a society’s singular beauty ideal. Her awareness was shaped by her personal experience as well as from her feminist consciousness, which was informed by the continued efforts of the feminist movement. But as hooks points out, awareness is not enough.
To solve the problem of body self-hatred, we have to critique sexist thinking, militantly oppose it, and simultaneously create new ways of seeing ourselves.
Editor’s Note: Last week the FDA stated in a report that breast implants are safe but will fail within 10 years. Here’s an excerpt from the report:
The longer a woman has silicone gel-filled breast implants, the more likely she is to experience complications. One in 5 patients who received implants for breast augmentation will need them removed within 10 years of implantation. For patients who received implants for breast reconstruction, as many as 1 in 2 will require removal 10 years after implantation. The most frequently observed complications and outcomes are capsular contracture (hardening of the area around the implant), reoperation (additional surgeries) and implant removal. Other common complications include implant rupture, wrinkling, asymmetry, scarring, pain, and infection.
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Is ‘Bo-Tax’ Unfair to Women Who Want Their Looks to Compete?
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Its hard to accept the fact that in society these days u have to look a certain way or have certain things such as big boobs, big butt in order to be accepted.I knew plenty of girls back in high school that mentioned once they grew up t have a god job the first thing they were going to do with their paycheck was go get a “bigger pair”. Its sad to see that women don’t love their bodies enough. To feel they have to change themselves for someone else is just ridiculous. Men shouldn’t judge a woman based on the size of her bra,jeans or her looks. Women shouldn’t feel obligated to change these things just for giving someone else the satisfaction. If a man doesn’t love you just the way you are you should feel strong enough to tell him f*** off !
I think it’s pretty horrific that Jasmine had to go through two relationships with different men that she though were “different” or “the one”, only to have them turn out to “love” her for her physical attributes. I think it’s sad how many women in society today go through these risky and potentially deadly procedures to try and impress other men. This only goes to show how demanding some men are, and how our media has shaped men’s expectations on how women should look like. This article opened my eyes to how many women really feel about themselves after they’ve had these procedures. I always thought that women who had surgery to enhance their breasts and other body parts walked in public with confidence. I am just happy to say that I will never allow my significant other to feel unimportant and not beautiful.
I work at a summer camp and some girls in my group (9-10 years old) were talking about their bodies. At first I didnt think anything of it for they were all friends and all girls, but the minute I hear “I need bigger boobs” I froze. These girls were 9-10 years old. They havent even hit puberty yet and they already want bigger boobs? WTF. Is there anything wrong with what I just heard? And what scared me even more was her friend encouraging her.
It really really scares me to see that at such a young age girls are already finding faults with their bodies. Now include boys into the situtation, those faults turn into “Fix it for me” or “Do it for me” or ” I will always love you, but those…” Jasmine, like many other women, fall to the fate of “i love you, but”. In her case her guy wanted her to change her body for him… there should have been a huge wakeup call for her. If an “I love you” is followed by a “but” dont bother.
The Heidi Montag symdrome is one that is on the rise. Women are literally changing their bodies, cutting and removing, making smaller, making bigger, smoothing things out to look younger, to find a man, to keep a man (and if thats the case, you need to get out now) or to compete with societies standard of beauty. “If I get this done, he will love me” “If I get rid of this, Ill look half my age” “If I get these up here and that over there, I can wear a bikini”…… but do people (mostly women) say or think “If I get this done, it may kill me” “If I get these bigger, it may affect my health”. No, they dont. And in the case of Jasmine, love pushed her to transform her body. Love shouldnt need a new set of boobs, a facelift, butt inplants, eyelid surgery, etc. And if so, dont change yourself, change who wants to be with “you”.
And this is the reason why I have always disagreed and I still disagree in getting implants myself. I am proud of the size of my breast, and I can say it to everybody who asks me. So if I guy where to tell me that he will be with me, or even marry me only if I get implants the first words that I know will come out of my mouth are f*** y**. In first place, I don’t want to get marry any time soon. Second, a man has no right to tell us to get implants. Men wouldn’t like it if a girl orders him to get a bigger larger penis. That will sure be very humiliating for men. This is quite an interesting story of Jasmine. After all she went through she still fought to keep looking for that doctor that supported her in the process of getting rid of the implants that were killing her. Also, it is heart touching to see that a real friend took off a week of school and stood by Jasmines side. That’s its incredible.
Jasmine is like the millions of other girls around the world changing and modifying themselves in the hope of finding their true love. But this search is difficult until one gains a sense of self-love. Self-love is acknowledging oneself and accepting how he/she looks, acts, and is. But doing this, the search for true love becomes easier. Several women are pressurized from family, boyfriends, society, media, etc that they will not be accepted unless they have a certain breast size, if their rears aren’t firm enough, if their width is too big – the list is endless. Basically all the flaws are in the women and they need to change themselves in order to be accepted by men and society. Media today highly emphasizes the importance of breasts, particularly big breasts. Thus the dramatic increase in the number of breast implant surgeries. When women begin to accept their body’s as they are, they’ll soon see their true love as well. This is not an overnight process. For the media and patriarchy has internally oppressed women for several generations, to revolt against it will take time and energy.
It’s sad how far women will go to please others. They are willing to risk their lives in the sake of satisfying their husbands. I will admit that I have thought of breast implants. But after taking the course of Women’s Studies 10, I am a bit more happier being me. I have become more comfortable in my own skin. I am just wondering what the man is bringing to the table, if a woman has to go as far as surgery. Is it the sex, money, house, ect. what is it? And most men bring nothing, all the while their female partner is going under for him. That is just sad. Ladies be aware of the type of man you got before making the decision to get cut up. Your decision is for life, while this relationship may be temporary. Be smart and stay strong!!
This story is extremely depressing to me. Hear Jasmine didn’t like the attention she was getting after having the breast implants, then when she didn’t have them anymore she didn’t like not getting the attention. I think its sad that here she almost died from having the implants and by the end she was contimplating whether to get another pair. After knowing that all these things happening with her body were caused by these alien implants that aren’t supposed to be in your body of course your body is going to start rejecting them and causing problems. The really sad thing is that both of these men couldn’t love her for herself they had to have they breast implants. Complete red flags especially since that one guy saw how sick she was and almost died, now that is messed up. Girls just know that you don’t need implants because you were made to be a certain way and it doesn’t fit your body. Why go through SURGERY for something that is not necessary for you to live?! Don’t change your look and natural beauty because of pressure because you will regret it and bad things will occur.
I have considered getting breast implants. The saddest part about this story was that it is not the only one of its kind. Many girls are now going under the knife to get the ideal body image. Of course this image has been getting greater and greater to achieve, this giving market to crazier surgical procedures. The standard of beauty is at an all-time high. Women in magazines look beautiful because they are covered with tons of makeup, shot by professionals and then photos hoped. All of this is done for one thing: to maximize profits. If companies raise the bar on beauty, girls are going to try their best to reach it. This effort feeds make-upend clothes corporations and plastic surgeons. Women’s value is based on their looks. This makes it obvious why they would try to alter their bodies. Women are risking their lives, their health and their bodies! Even though I know all of this and have taken a woman studies class and communications class that have made me aware and have awakened me, I still fall victim and compare myself to these images and contemplate surgery. The mass media has done an excellent job at getting girls to believe that they are only valued or they looks. Girls spend their energy on minor things like looks. This is convenient for patriarchy. Women are too busy concentrating on their bodies and image that they don’t have time or energy to compete or question misogynistic, patriarchal thinking. Before I used to say that if I got a boob job it was for me not for anybody else. Wrong! The media has made me believe that my value will go up if I trade my puny breasts for a size of breasts that will be accepted by men.
I find this story to be heartbreaking and uplifting, but also very common in the city that I grew up. The obsessing with the perfect body is not only perpetuated by women, but by men also. There is so much pressure to maintain a ‘perfect’ body from magazines, advertisements, television, etc. However, there is a ton of pressure from your significant other and image they want you to uphold. In Palos Verdes, there is a known stereotype of a big-breasted, blonde, stay-at-home mom who is a great cook and knows how to keep it interesting in the bedroom, however behind closed doors of course. The stripper/saint paradigm definitely comes into play in this scenario. However, if you want to live in this area and be socially accepted, you must concede to the ways that are set out for you, as a woman. If you fall short in any of the categories listed above, you better call Dr. 90210 and get that crocked nose fixed, or those lopsided breasts, or that lower belly tucked. If you marry into this phenomena, you better believe that these men will do close to anything to make sure you are up to their standards. Their standards are usually your ‘fuckability’ to the neighbors and boys at the office. For example, after my aunt had her three children, her boobs were a bit saggy…DUH. After breastfeeding that many kids, you better believe they were a little uneven. So, my sleezy uncle paid for her to get breast implants at forty years old. Not to mention that perfect nose her parents bought for graduating high school. Now, she’s got the whole PV image down pat. Three beautiful children, a great rack, and a perfect nose; the transformation is complete! However, take a closer look at the actual family and you’ll see how imperfect they truly are. If you look closely, you’ll find a father who cheats with a stripper from Vegas, spends all of their money on this stripper, gets caught in Hawaii with this stripper using the vacation that him and his wife were supposed to have, but he had to ‘work’. Guess what, they are still together. All of this happened about five years ago, but my aunt refuses to give up the perfect PV images her and her husband worked so hard to maintain. Her children constantly ask me where their dad is today, and I lie. They ask why she is crying, and I lie. They ask what time he’ll be home, and I lie. I have told those children so many lies I can’t keep count. My aunt seems to be the biggest liar of all. The lessons that her kids will take away from her are the same that Jasmine’s kids would have taken away from her, if she hadn’t left. Unlike Jasmine, my aunt has not yet found the strength to believe in herself, and believe that there is someone out there that will treat her well, even if she is a divorcee with three kids a little debt. Jasmine’s message is inspiring to me because I know, on a personal level, the kind of strength it takes to walk away from someone who is hurting you. Instead of Jasmine’s husband being grateful that his wife is alive and well, he resents her for screwing up the image he wanted. Maybe one day my aunt will learn that an image won’t give you self-love and confidence, and an image does not fool your children from understanding the reason why daddy isn’t coming home tonight.
Before I used to look down on women who got breast implants blaming them for being superficial and stupid. I know realize that it really is not their fault and that the it is really the fault of the system. Over and over again girls are not looked in the eyes but in the breasts by men and by society judging them by their breast sizes. We are told over and over again that having small breasts is unattractive and that a girl with “big tits” will surely steal him away. I do not mean to be man hating but it is men’s fault. If men did not make such a big deal about having large breasts women would not be willing to go under the knife in order to get them.
Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon story. As of now, these are the facts of life. Beauty will take you a long way, and boobs, they will take you even higher. Sadly this concept is true in our society. The plastic surgery business is a multi-million dollar a year profit pit, where more and more women each year are going under the knife. The most popular surgery is a boob job, and then follows things like nose jobs and liposuction. Women are constantly feeling the need to be and look perfect. There’s even jokes made like “lunch time lipo” for women who want to get laser lipo done in a hour during their lunch break. Whoever this man is who she married, obviously married her for her looks and not her heart. Well poor guy, because looks only attract but personality keeps, so looks will fade on any woman, and he can’t keep upgrading every year one celebrates their birthday. Men have become pigs and they are the ones encouraging women to become plastic. Women only get the idea to look perfect from men being obsessed with boobs and butts and this creates a need for women to feel they must be a life size doll. There is more to life, and in this case, health than risking your own life to have a big rack. What if we women, told men they need to get penis enlargements or we won’t find them attractive. What if the media portrayed that so much, that it became the new “it” thing, how would they feel? I’m sure not good…Well that’s what they are saying to us, that we are not good enough at a “B” cup for them. Personally, I think fake breasts are gross. Who wants to hug a rock anyway? That’s how they feel, like a couple of bricks on your chest! Men are way too sex driven and perfect body obsessed. They need to mentally grow up and realize what is important in life. A woman,a wife, is there to be your partner for life, the mother of your child, not your life size doll!
This post truly spoke out to me and made me antagonistic towards breast implants. I did not realize how harmful breast implants are, not only for your health but also psychologically and emotionally harmful. Whether or not one approves of cosmetic surgery they sadly still tend to consider it because of the way our society values beauty. As seen in this case, although Jasmine suffered emotionally (because of her boyfriend) and health-wise she still considered getting a second pair. The pressure put on females to look beautiful, be desirable, and feel desirable is ridiculously influential and makes women consider dangerous procedures just to fulfill the criteria of being (for example) “sexy,” or “wanted.” This article is eye-opening and focuses on the idea that girls and women are extremely pressured by society, the media, males, etc. to embody the “perfect look.” The media suggests that females will only be loved if they are beautiful. Most movies, tv shows, chick flicks etc. focus on a women searching for her soul mate, and trying hard to please a man. Because of this, there is a lot of pressure on real women. These real women take on drastic measures to become beautiful so that they can please a man. I honestly feel bad for Jasmine, but I don’t blame her for the insecurities that encouraged her to get breast augmentations.
Society is always pressuring women to look like supermodels and are held to ridiculously high standards. This article was an interesting and sad tale of this. Personally, I wouldn’t tell any women to get implants for the sake of pleasing a man. I am glad Jasmine survived the terrible ordeal, but I can’t imagine how weird and terrible it must have been when Brad asked her if she’ll get another set of implants after the misery her old ones put her through. It’s sickening to see relationships being built on physical looks. It just puts an emotional strain on one another to live up to some ridiculous expectations. I’m glad Jasmine got out of that relationship.
I think it’s sad that anybody would get implants for any person but themselves. Jasmine should only get a new set of implants if it’s what she needs to make herself happy and nobody else. I underwent breast augmentation five months ago and I wouldn’t take it back nor do I feel like I did it for the wrong reasons. I feel good about myself and I completely support doing things to yourself to feel better. Not considering cost or recovery time, but isn’t that the same thing we do when we get our hair cut or colored differently, go to the tanning salon, etc.? As long as it’s done for ourselves, it shouldn’t matter what it is.
Its shocking to know that society could ruin someone in the event such as this. No one probably wants there partner to be non smart or come with a bad personality. I think all individuals want a partner that comes with a good personality. But, in this case, males claim they already have perfect women but for reason they wanted more. to be there ideal women. Due to this issue, it ruins society along with the potential female
Moreover, women treated more harsh than men in our current society. I think people should not judge others by their look. People should be judged by their personality.
After reading this post I am content with the size of my breast and under no condition would I go under the knife just to please somebody else. Although many argue that plastic surgery enhances one’s self-esteem, I find it deceiving, how is cutting your skin, going through immense pain self gratifying?? I guess I am one of those lucky women, who have naturally large breast, all the time I get complimented or approached by women asking if they are real. Even my boyfriend jokes around saying how he is lucky, but truth is I have gone through episodes where I feel uncomfortable by the eye glazes of men when I’m wearing a tight shirt, as a result if possible I try to wear loose shirts. Sometimes I restrain from going shopping because it is such a hassle to find shirts that flatter my breasts or shirts that don’t make me feel like a porn star. I also have back problems, due to having large breasts. Ever women should love their breasts, it is not worth the risks to enlarge them. By giving into surgery as a means to retain a man or to feel loved or approval , one is becoming submissive and in a way becoming sexual objects.Altering one’s body is trying to reflect perfection, which is a lie there is no perfection, women go through great lengths to achieve this, putting their life at risk. Plastic surgery should be done for your own well being not to please others. Instead of increasing breast size women should search for men who will love them for who they are. Women need to realize that we don’t have to look a certain way just so we can feel loved, first of all we have to love ourselves and our bodies first, surgery is not the answer. I think surgery is another way of cheating the system, if people are really unhappy with their body image they should consider alternative methods such as examining their lifestyle. Surgery is an illusion, if women really urge the need for bigger breast, there are alternative ways in achieving this illusion such buying padded bra’s at Victoria Secret and even fake books which can easily be inserted inside the bra rather than having surgery.
This article made me so angry, imagining what this poor woman went through just to make her man happy. I wander if her husband, or ex-husband was a perfect looking man. This makes me want to question ” what is love?”or “does love exist”, because if it did, how can people be judged by their looks only. Reading this made me realize what I have been through. I was never good enough. It did not matter that I was educated, had a good personality, but because I was not the typical “100 pound girl”, I was not good enough. I went through hell, by trying diets, while harming my health at the same time, and all this to make the guy like me.
Of course my whole dilemma finished when I meat my boyfriend. He was the only guy that asked me talk about myself, and not when I will be losing the weight. He helped me get to my goal, by not pushing me lose weight, but by supporting my decision to do so.
This story almost brought me to tears and I think the biggest reason why, was because her story is not out of the ordinary as far as her attempts to recreate herself for “love.” I myself had always been against breast implants, even though I am not satisfied with my A cup breast size. My mind changed when I was dating a guy a few years back and he asked me the question, “would you ever get breast implants?” At that point I was still against implants, and so I shot back, “no, of course not,” but a few months later we broke up and I can honestly say that I now have a different outlook on breast implants. I think that in the back of my mind I feel that he maybe would not have broken up with me if I larger breasts, and it disgusts me to even say that. I now very often consider getting breast implants, and feel that I would feel better about myself if I did. Hooks said it best, as noted in the article above; women attempt to “make [themselves] over, to become someone worthy of love.”
After reading this post, it makes me realize how much women are always on hunt to make themselves perfect. First I am so sorry for the women that this post was in reference too. I’m sure she was perfect just the way she was before her implants. I wish she would have seen her imperfection just like her family and friends saw her, no matter what any man had to say. Although this is one story, I know there are women everyday who have the same story. Women are the biggest hunt for love; they do almost anything to make themselves the right match to find love. Women need to realize that love starts from within. They must first love themselves before they can accept any kind of love from anyone else. If they don’t they will fall for anyone. Once a woman loves herself, she will only accept those that truly love her, for her. For Tim, in the post, to say to Jasmine you would be perfect if you had bigger breast, in all actuality she wasn’t really perfect. If he wanted her to alter her breasts, she wasn’t perfect for him.
Throughout the post there are statistics about breast implants. I found the statistics to be appalling. Why do women get breast implants in the first place. From what it seems like the results are very promising. Within 10 years of having surgery a women, the chance are 50% of her probably having to remove them. Women should accept themselves and not put their health at risk.
I have ginormous breasts. Not big, or even large. Not a handful –more like 10 handfuls. Huge, monstrous breasts. All the time I have women telling me how lucky I am. Why? In reality, I envy those who don’t have to shop at specialty stores to find bras that satisfy my large cup size and my small back size. How anyone could want to physically put themselves through the pain of implants to satisfy society’s concept of beauty is astounding to me, and a sad illustration of a woman’s social identity. My astonishment however, doesn’t come from the woman’s resolve, but from society’s. Hooks is completely right that “to solve the problem of body self-hatred, we have to critique sexist thinking, militantly oppose it, and simultaneously create new ways of seeing ourselves”.
Being naturally big-chested, I have girls tell me all the time how “lucky” I am to have such big breasts and how jealous they are of me. I tell them all the same thing. It’s more of a burden than a gift. Girls who want breast implants want to feel sexy, want more self confidence and want to improve how they look. I doubt many of these girls think about the other consequences large breasts can create. Large breasts are seen as sexually desirable to men, and having large breasts myself I can say that this isn’t always the best thing. I don’t know how many times men make unwarranted comments about my breasts or how often I am visually groped by people I don’t even know. I feel its hard to be taken seriously or professionally when you have two huge objects on your chest that scream “SEX”. Sometimes I feel like I have to work harder prove myself as an intellectual more because of how I look. I am on the other side of the fence as Jasmine was and these other girls are. They want more attention on their breasts, I want to be noticed for anything other than mine. I guess you can’t truly understand how it is until you’ve been on both sides. I bet Jasmine understands now.
WOW!! I am sorry to hear about what your friend went through! What a nightmare. I am glad that she recovered to full health. I had to read this blog when I read the title, because I have actually been told that. There was once a guy who wanted to date me. Apparently, part of his wooing process included letting me know that I would be his perfect and ideal woman if I just had bigger boobs. He could just picture me in a nice convertible with my big boobs. I was so repulsed. I never talked to him again. What kind of a back handed compliment is that? I admit, my boobs are tiny… like I can still fit into training bras tiny, but I only weigh 100 pounds, what do you expect? Like your friend, I have a small frame. Lucky for me, (and probably the only time in my life this has been lucky for this reason) I am a hypochondriac and could never go through surgery like that. Plus, if they were in me, I would probably be in the doctor with every slight ache or pain thinking that they had ruptured. If your friend doctor thought she was an irrational, over emotional, and slightly insane woman…. then they would admit me. I have never succumbed to societal pressures to get bigger boobs, but to be honest…I wish mine would grow!
Reading this post reminds me of when I was working in the main operating room and we had a couple of scheduled surgeries for silicone implant removal. After removing the damaged implants it was obvious that they would not look the same the amount of damage from scar tissue left them asymmetrical. It is unfortunate that our society impose such preference on busty women that women with smaller breast feel obligated to go under the knife just to compete for attention from men. This just isn’t so it may be that there are men out there that prefer larger breasts but that doesn’t mean there is not a guy out there that would not like you for who you are the way you naturally developed. Stories like this should be the red flags that make you stop and think is this really what I want to do?
Breast implants is something I have always considered. I’ve always valued larger “boobs” but never really understood why. I thought it was simply because I thought they looked nice and pretty. After reading this article, I know realize that the reason why I found them to be so beautiful and want them so badly is because I was raised to believe that we are “primarily valued by the way we look” and large breast are a big part of this. We live in a world that values them. So, it is no surprise that at the age of 20 I have asked my parents for breast implants as a graduation gift. Ever since I could remember I have always wanted to have larger breast and after reading all of the side effects and the dangers of breast implants, I do not know if I could still say I would not get them implanted. It is still something I highly consider doing in the future. It is sad to know that I am still willing to forward with such a dangerous surgery. It almost makes me realize how much society’s views of the female body influence. Nevertheless, I know this is not an uncommon feeling among young women. I was just recently having drinks with some friends and every single young woman that had small breast said that they too are considering breast implants in the near future. I personally would feel much more fulfilled. I just do not understand why a pair of boobs would make me feel this way but I am certain it would. I was glad to know that Jasmine was able to surpass her insecurities and stray away from getting new implants even when her marriage depended on it. Her husband clearly did not truly love her because her body should not be the only object of his affection. What these implants caused her was beyond detrimental. I am glad she was strong enough to surpass it all. I don’t know if I would have been.
Breast implants is something I have always considered. I’ve always valued larger “boobs” but never really understood why. I thought it was simply because I thought they looked nice and pretty. After reading this article, I know realize that the reason why I found them to be so beautiful and want them so badly is because I was raised to believe that we are “primarily valued by the way we look” and large breast are a big part of this. We live in a world that values them. So, it is no surprise that at the age of 20 I have asked my parents for breast implants as a graduation gift. Ever since I could remember I have always wanted to have larger breast and after reading all of the side effects and the dangers of breast implants, I do not know if I could still say I would not get them implanted. It is still something I highly consider doing in the future. It is sad to know that I am still willing to forward with such a dangerous surgery. It almost makes me realize how much society’s views of the female body influence. Nevertheless, I know this is not an uncommon feeling among young women. I was just recently having drinks with some friends and every single young woman that had small breast said that they too are considering breast implants in the near future. I personally would feel much more fulfilled. I just do not understand why a pair of boobs would make me feel this way but I am certain it would. I was glad to know that Jasmine was able to surpass her insecurities and stray away from getting new implants even when her marriage depended on it. Her husband clearly did not truly love her because her body should not be the only object of his affection. What these implants caused her was beyond detrimental. I am glad she was strong enough to surpass it all. I don’t know if I would have been
Reading this article made me extremely sad. I am completely disturbed by the lengths in which some women will go to achieve perfection in the name of beauty. Reading this article, made me think about a girl name Heidi who starred on a reality show titled The Hills. She was beautiful naturally but decided to get plastic surgery to help boost her singing career. Heidi consented to ten cosmetic surgeries under one anesthesia, that included the shaving down of her chin, nose job, cheek and lip filler as well as others. When she was seen in public post surgery, I was mortified by her appearance. She looked like a plastic rejected Barbie doll and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. She destroyed her natural beauty only to end up looking fake and almost alien like. While reading this article I also could help but to question the nerve of her husband. How dare he have the audacity to tell her that she needed to get another set of implants because he deserved to have a wife with big boobs. Does her health and life mean anything to him? How could he fix his mouth to make that demand after the first set of implants nearly cost her life. We are in a world where beauty is equated with love and happiness, but the problem is that what is considered beautiful is not natural.
I believe that everyone is entitled to look however they want. Some people get tattoos and they feel better about themselves, while others might get breast implants. However, I feel that one should do whatever they want for themselves and not others. She should have never got breast implants in the first place. Instead of saying no, she made the first mistake by getting her body altered for someone else. As for the new husband, it is very selfish of him to want his wife to get new breast implants after the first pair almost killed her. Also, what kind of doctors was she going to? Clearly her doctor were paid off by the boyfriend or just bad doctors.
This article shocked me and opened my eyes. It is true like Bell Hooks said in Communion, girls try to make themselves over to be worthy of love. I can really relate to the article.
I was an ugly duckling growing up. From fifth grade till the end of eighth grade I was teased for my braces, chubby body. red hair, and lack of fashion sense. I hated myself. Boys and everyone seemed to love me less and give me less attention because of my appearance. My dad said one day that we needed to buy more ice cream for “our little tummy girl.” That made me snap and decide to perfect myself. I was only in eighth grade but I put myself on a diet. The best diet I could considering my obese parents fed me pasta and fast food most days of the week. But I ate smaller portions, cut out the deserts. I started taking PE seriously, played basketball, and hit the gym. On top of that I did crunches, push-ups, and planks every night before bed. I had to do this in secret after my “bed time.” I got my braces off around the same time and my parents finally started letting me wear mascara and shave my legs. Yes I was not allowed to shave my legs till the middle of eighth grade. Traumatizing. I did all this to be accepted. I made myself into a girl that boys started looking at and asking out, and my friends and family treated me better. Isn’t that terrible. Attractive girls have more friends and their families generally treat them better than less attractive girls. It’s an unfair fact of life I have seen first hand and I hope is not true for everyone. By freshman year I was a cheerleader that senior football players were looking at. Today’s ugly duckling story.
The problem is that I feel embarrassed even reminding myself of who I was. And I have currently be considering breast implants myself. Now reading this blog opens my eyes to the risks of such a procedure. I knew that some people can have a bad reaction to breast implants but I did not know 1 in 5 would experience a problem within 10 years. That is shocking to me and definitely makes me want to continue my research and rethink my decision. The reason why I told my transformation story is because it relates to the story of the women in the blog, Communion, and my desire to get breast implants right now. I want to so my boyfriend will go crazy over them, people will talk about my “hot body,” and so I’ll get looks on the street. Looking at the implants in the mirror isn’t as empowering as attention from other people. And that is wrong. Looks fade and if confidence in yourself exists purely from your appearance, there will be a rude awakening when you start to age. This class and this article remind me that I need to work on myself. I need to work on what makes me happy and why I value myself. Great article.
Plastic surgery as blown up in the past several decades and women are flocking to dive under the knife to receive these “transformational” looks that they feel are the only way to feel beautiful. The dangers of breast implants are not as widely known, and the complications that are likely to arise can be fatal. “Studies have shown rupture rates to be 50% to 60% in silicone implants 10-15 years old,[24] with one study showing a failure rate of 6% per year for the first 5 years, 50% at 10 years, and 70% at 17 years.” This is disturbing information. After reading this article about this woman who felt so inclined to please her husband and ultimately almost forfeited her life was extremely sad. I’m not saying I don’t agree with plastic surgery, as it can bring life changing happiness back to people who perhaps may have developed severe deformities. Plastic surgery should be done for your own well being–not to please others. As bell hooks argues self beauty comes from within, and starts when you begin by loving yourself. The media is largely responsible for portraying these ridiculous images of what real beauty is.
I feel bad for the women, who feel they need big boobs. And I feel that it starts off younger and younger, that females consider getting implants. It’s so unfortunate that a woman has to feel unworthy of love because they are not happy with their physical image. I never thought about getting breast implants and never did have to think about it, because unlike most of my female friends and family, I started to develop at the age of 9 and they just continued to grow all the way into my high school years. But in being big-breasted, I experience lots of back pain and shoulder pain. And there are times when I seriously consider getting a reduction, but a little thought would come into my mind of how I would be reacted to in having smaller boobs. It was the only reason I had not talked to a doctor about a possibly breast reduction. And I know that it’s because of the comments I would get from people about my boobs. Females will tell me how jealous they are of my boobs. And I can’t deny the attention I get from males from having large breasts.
It’s interesting because after a few years of having these kinds of thoughts, I learned to be comfortable with my body no matter what. And that my main focus would just to be healthy and if that meant that getting a breast reduction to be rid of the sharp pains I get so frequently from my busty chest, then that’s what it would come to. Whenever I share with others my thoughts on getting a breast reduction, it is met with shock. I am always questioned. The females think I’m crazy to get rid of something they’ve longed for and men are shocked for obvious reasons. Though I am not surprised by their feelings, I am surprised of how much disapproval they have about it being as it is not their body.
It’s so unfortunate that so many women feel the need to have big breasts and that they see me as being lucky. little do they realize, I rub icy hot on my back every other night and lay on a heating pad to ease my pain that I receive from my boobs.
This was such a sad story to hear, especially because I am sure it is not uncommon. In our society big breasts are highly favored and there is constant pressure on girls and women to be big breasted by any means possible. When a woman is constantly beated down, because of the way she looks it’s hard for her to feel worthy unless she meets those unrealistic expectations. Many women are willing to spend thousands of dollars and go under dangerous surgeries to get the desired results. However the desired results often aren’t their desires. Women need to love themselves and their bodies for what they are. Women also need to be loved by others for who they truly are. The vicious cycle of unrealistic body expectations is one that needs to end.
This article is so sad but so true. I feel really bad for women that feel that to be the perfect woman they need big boobs. In high school I saw everyone around me developing while I stayed small and I wanted boobs so bad. They finally came at the end of high school but I think now and what did I want them for? It was because I wanted to be the perfect pretty girl like everyone else. At my work about a year ago I remember talking with two girls and one of them was had braces on. The girl without braces was saying to the girl with braces as soon as you get your braces off and get a boob job you will be perfect. I really couldn’t believe she said that and I felt bad for the girl because she already was gorgeous. She didn’t need to get a boob job but a few months later she did and now she is planning her second one to go even bigger.
I have heard so many issues regarding breast enlargement surgeries and I cannot believe women willing go through that pain just to have bigger boobs. I have had a few friends get them done and it just doesn’t seem worth it at all. Also to know that in the future it could cost me my life, it just isn’t worth it. Women come in many different shapes and sizes and need to realize that big boobs do not equal happiness and love. If a man loves you only because of your boobs that is a sign of a bad relationship. I am glad your friend Jasmine knew to end her relationship with her second husband whom wanted her to get breast surgery again after it almost cost her, her life.
I found this article really interesting because it shows how doing something to please other people back fires. Society has an unrealistic image of how women are support to look, for example the prefect women need to be thin, tall, with big boobs and a big butt. For many women that either have big butts or boobs it’s hard to have a thin frame because it cannot support them or it might look a bit disproportion. The pressure to be thin and have big boobs and butts are often displayed in media. For example a lot of the reality shows display women that resembles Barbie. They usually are tall, thin, blond hair, and have big boob. One reality show that came to mind after reading this article is the “The House Wives of Orange Country”, one of the wives Tamra has had breast implants because her than husband loved women with big boobs. Throughout the show she expressed dissatisfaction with her breast but did not do anything to change them because her husband loved them. It wasn’t until after they divorced, she decided to get them removed because they were causing health problems. Society values women who look a certain way and if you do not many women are changing their appearance to “get the better job, lead the better husband, and to overall be able to compete in a world with other beautiful women.” I ultimately think, if women were not pressure by society to look a certain way then we were love our bodies and accept them the way they are.
I’ve had this argument with every male friend I have ever had. I think that breast implants might be the worst thing to ever happen to women and I am firmly against any woman ever getting breast implants. I believe this for two reasons. 1. I think that breast implants ruin the natural beauty that all women have when they love themselves and their body. 2. By getting implants women are generally reinforcing patriarchy. I think that implants in general are such a patriarchal invention. What woman is interested in putting bags inside their body that will give them potential back pain and further complications? It is simply to give men more enjoyment. Because of this breast implants are not considered to be the terrible thing they really are.
The reason I have had this discussion many times before is because many of my male friends love a woman with large breasts. I think there definitely are natural reasons why men love large breasts, however, breast implants are not the answer to this problem. Instead of increasing breast size women should search for men who will love them for who they are. It is embarrassing that the only reasonable solution, at the moment, to a problem solved by patriarchy is to force women to do extra work searching for a better partner.
Our Society has created a beauty image that it is hard to reach because it’s in realistic. Plus the double standards of males and females in the media culture affects the females. Females are suppose to be small, tiny, slim, big breast, and booty according to the society.Most of the time women don’t only have the pressure from society but also from the relationship their in. A lot of women do anything to please their partners and make the wrong choices that could cost them their lives, like what this article says. It is frustrating for us women to live with this beauty standards because they seem imposible to reach. With everything around us they put pressure on us to encourage us to look sexy. For example, the victoria secret bras they pesuade us to buy them so we could look like we have big breast to look sexy. Like they are painting an image that only if you have big breast you are sexy. Therefore most women want to have big breast and make bad choices like getting implants just to please others not for themselves, like in this article. I believe if someone marries you is because they love you of who you are not just beacuse of your physical and they shouldnt persuade you to put your life in danger.
This article was interesting to me and I feel for Jasmine because it is extremely unfair to her. Being a woman and trying to always meet perfection in this society does take its toll on some. Jasmine was one of them where her breast implants caused several health issues, causing her to remove them. Her husband was not so accepting on this for the mire fact of physical appearance. Its absurd that he has that nerve to one, do that, and two think in only a physical manner. I don’t understand how some people can act this way but I will admit that not ALL men think this way. I am not against women getting breast implants but I’d prefer them to not have breast implants. Its not that important to me but this one guy in particular I’m sure has some physical issues of his own and instead focuses solely on Jasmine’s physical “issues.” I feel bad that she had to experience something like that but it will be better for her in the long run because she will be healthy!
I’ve noticed that recently breast implants and many other plastic surgery procedures have had an increase, not to mention the age in which women are getting “work” done on themselves have become younger. In our society that enforces being “prefect” so much, I understand why many women feel that they have to have work on themselves but this isn’t how it should be. Women need to realize that we don’t have to look a certain way just so we can feel loved. I’m only 20 and it scares to know that many, and I mean many of my friends have already had breast implants and tummy tucks when they are all around the same age as me. I hate to say it, but at one point, I also thought about getting a tummy tuck but I know that if I did, I would be to contribute to the sexualization of women and that is not what I want to do. I just hope that women will use this story as an example to love their bodies, the way they are, because I know I will.
Wow what a touching story. It is extremely hard to fit society’s image of beauty these days. We live in a society where women are encouraged to spend thousands of dollars to MUTILATE themselves. My sister has silicone implants and those two months after her surgery were torture (for her and for myself). If only we lived in a society where all breast sizes were accepted, women wouldn’t have to go through so much mental and physical pain. I truly feel bad that Jasmine had to go through what she went through. Most men these days have soaked in so many images of perfection from the media, that they can not accept/be attracted to a “normal” looking women, even if they really tried.
This article definitely highlights the intense pressure put on women to look a certain way. Jasmine’s story is heartbreaking and proves that men control women in more ways than we think. Just the fact that she got her breasts done in the first place, to please her man, says a lot. This guy should have never asked her to do such a thing. When he asked for her to get her breasts done, this is when she should have dumped him; however, so many women are blinded by love, that they do not realize that some of the things they do for their man is self destructive. It is emotionally and physically dangerous for women to try and reach the beauty ideal or the ideal body. There should not be an “ideal” body type in the first place. This puts an incredible amount of pressure on women, and it affects girls starting from a very young age. The media is always telling women to look “skinnier,” “thinner,” “prettier,” “smoother,” etc., and makes girls think that there is always something wrong with them, even though there is nothing wrong with them. It also makes men expect more of us, which is ridiculous, because we don’t expect as much from them as they do from us. I personally have a body that many women desire, I have a flat stomach, thin body, and I am large up top. I have been told so many times that I am so lucky to have my kind of body, however, I think it is in some way a curse, as it sometimes draws attention from the wrong types of guys—guys similar to that of Jasmine’s ex husband Brad, who require their women to have large breasts. Having a good body or not, either way is a curse in its own ways.
This seems so scary to me! We are in a society that values outward beauty so much, that women are willing to kill themselves to seem beautiful? I am not trying to devalue your friend at all, but it’s so unfortunate that she had to endure all this pain just to feel beautiful. I want to know if these doctors received any sort of trouble for not taking her implants out or reading deeper into her symptoms. I hope Jasmine is feeling beautiful in her own body now and is happy with herself.
Been a woman in today’s society is not a simple thing. Many people believe that being a woman is easy all we have to do is look good and take care of our husbands or children. There is a whole lot more to being a woman. I love this article because like it mention it shows the struggles that women have to endure and go through in order to seek that beauty that society teaches us is greatly valued. Jasmine is a normal girl who decided to remove her implant due to her health issues but this decision also ends her marriage. Its pathetic that men value women by their physical appearance and not by what they have to offer. The idea of beauty and perfections takes some women to the extremes. They are willing to do what ever it takes to be accepted by society and to fit to the norms which society has set for feminine beauty without looking at the negative effects that this may bring to their health. I for example know im a little over weight and I started working out but I noticed that going to the gym every day for two hours was really taking a toll on my body. Today i exercise in moderation and try to eat healthy instead of starving my self to acquire the “perfect body.”
This story is a real eye opener. There have been many times when I’ve contemplated getting a boob job or butt implants or some kind of plastic surgery. I don’t know how serious I’ve ever been about it but the thought has crossed my mind many times. A good friend of mine got injections to make her butt bigger. She’s always said she’s wanted to do nude modeling and that not having a big enough butt was the only thing standing in her way. Personally, I think she thrives off of male attention because it seems that she is never happy unless there is a man around complimenting her. It scares me to think about how far she would actually go to get a man’s attention and what the long term effects may be. It’s frightening to see how crucial it has become to have a perfect physique. It’s even scarier to see how far women are willing to go in order to be “prettier” and be noticed more.
Breast implants do have many dangers and health risks, yet thousand of women are still getting them put in every year! Because I did not go through puberty until I hit seventeen, I always had a flat chest throughout school. My friends and family would make fun of me constantly for being flat chested, and I was constantly teased at school for having no breasts. I still have fairly small breasts, and do contemplate breast implants time to time. I know my boyfriend is a “boob man” but that is not surprising in a culture that practically worships breasts! I would never actually get them,. but it’s sad that I even consider. Breast implants are very strange when you actually think about the process. It’s amazing that so many women agree to go under the knife to then get bags of saline placed in their chest. The recovery alone seems very painful an not worth it. I have a few friends that have breast implants, and they say they love the attention they get from guys. It’s unfortunate that women are positively sanctioned for going through such a horrific surgery, ultimately putting their life on line.
Amazing!
I like many women have always thought my breasts were too small. After having children and aging a few more years I have really become unhappy with how I look. Even my son said “you look like a mom” to me recently. It was not until a recent assignment in one of Melanie’s classes I would still absolutely hate my body. However, it was during this assignment that I realized that my body is telling a story of motherhood, pain and suffering of injuries and here I still stand stronger because of it all and I have 3 great children too! I am one lucky woman and I am going to remind myself of that every time I look in the mirror until I love me for being me.
This story is really sad. Being married is about loving someone, or about money. If it is about love your partner should love you for who you are. Its a negitive nudge in Tim’s character to make her get fake boobs before they get married. If I was Jasmine i would probably have lead myself into deperession or think something is wrong of me. I think when Jasmine gets over this she will be a strong women and be able to help other women in the same situation as she was in.
As a young woman with barely A cup boobs, I wish I had larger breasts but am scared of the side effects that can affect me. Since having large breasts makes a woman more “desireable” to society, it would allow for more self esteem. But when is the line drawn? If our men marry us for our boobs, then why do we want to marry them? Wouldnt the smart thing to do be to run the other way? Our self esteem in how we “should” look is based on what society/media tells us to. I am amazed at all this woman did and went through in this story. There are going to be things that we do not like about a person, but we need to examine ourselves and think are we really being practical, or are we being selfish. Women should not change their bodies for anyone but themselves because this type of thing will happen. More power to you girl, you are beautiful the way you are, and there are people out there that will love you for the way God made you.
This is a scary to read. I personally have two siblings who have had breast augmentation. We come from a family where the women are on the smaller end of breast size. When I was a teenager I would think if only these size A cup boobs would grow. So I waited to see if maybe after a baby they would grow. But now post breastfeeding that has not been the case. Many people close got breast implants and made it sound so simple like going to buy a pair of shoes. Reading Jazmin story only makes me rethink breast implants. I have noticed how for one of my sitters women and men stare at her. She used to over weight but now she is thin. She also has noticed how much attention she gets from men. However this attention is undesired and many times she wishes they would not stare at her. I am in the process of learning to self love myself and accept my body. I feel bad for Jasmine because she has been thru so much emotionally. It is unfair that society places all this pressure on women to be thin with large breast and butt. We have become so vain to the point that we are willing to potentially but our life at risk to accomplish this barbie image. All so that we can find a man to love us. Based on my reading of Bell hooks book “communion I am realize that self love is more important.
My heart goes out to Jasmine. It’s really sad that she had to deal with this problem. To first have to deal with body images because male insecurities. Then to power yourself and overcome these male issues to be let down by your husband. This was not her fault. I’m glad to read about this strong women letting her story be out there for all of us other ladies to get will to stay strong and not be influenced to do other wise. Our Patriarchy world needs to change.
This article made me realize that many women out there feel so insecure about themselves because they paint this picture in their head of what the perfect women should look like according to society. I am guilty to be one of those women who want larger breast and have thought about getting breast because that is what i have seen to be attractive and beautiful. I am a petite girl only 4″10 and therefore have a tiny frame including small breast and i admit they have made me self conscious but after reading this article it has seriously made me think twice. It cause so much emotional and physical pain for Jasmine because she thought that getting larger breast would make her happy and her bf happy but in reality it made miserable. She is a very lucky woman such great friends and family that were there to support when her husband was was not supportive of her not getting implants back that comes to show you that those type of men are not worth it and she should fine somebody who loves her for the beautiful person that she is and love her self for the beautiful women that she is.
People go to crazy extents to fit what people want them to be. I feel sad that Jasmine had to go through everything she did. She is an example of what can happen when you try to please others instead of staying true to yourself. Yo should never have to change for the person who says they love you. If they don’t love everything about you, they don’t deserve you. It is terrible that the doctors just ignore her pleas for help. Then again that’s a man thinking with his penis for you. Men are such pigs. She was showing such severe sign of trouble yet they waved her off. She had to suffer because of men. They ruined her perfect body that she was born with and then wouldn’t fix it when she really needed help until the damage was irreversible. It’s so sad how women feel they have to conform to what men want in order to be noticed. Media needs to stop filling the male brain with false expectations. It is only continuing to produce shallow asshole men.
As I was reading this story my eyes got watery.. It is so sad what women go through in order to please someone. Someone who ask for more than your natural self is not really in love with you as a person. Not only did Jasmine risk her life for that ideal guy but also scared herself mentally. I have experienced stages in my life where I don’t feel content of what my body looks like and often question it. I always think to myself maybe if i get certain things done i would love myself, how silly of me. This is a perfect example and eye opener to every individual, the things that you think bring you happiness only last for so long. We are influenced by society and expect to look a certain why in order to get praised…isn’t this some b.s!!!
This article really hit home for me. I feel the pressure every day from society to get breast implants even though I was born with naturally large breasts. Natural is now considered to not be good enough and not beautiful. It is sad that women have to feel that what they are born with is not enough and that they must go through these dangerous surgeries in order to feel beautiful. I feel foolish when I find myself wishing I had implants so I could look like these “perfect” women but then I realize that it is not the answer. Loving oneself and being happy in your own skin is the answer no matter what others perceive as “perfect” and beautiful. Self love is a hard thing to accomplish with all of these different messages we get from the media and society in general but I feel if we realize just how damaging these surgeries and views are to our bodies and minds we will see just how foolish it is to want anything other than the beauty we were born with.
this article shows that there are men out there that have to have women a perfect way. they tell a woman she is perfect but can change this then she will be. they can string a woman along for many years. a woman should not want to changer herself for a man but for herself alone; especially something that drastic and expensive.
This is a very sad story, especially being with a man that accepts a removal of the breast then questions when she will get another pair. She is a strong woman to even put up with such jerks I know how it is to have so much attention on you not because of your personality but what cleavage is showing on your V-neck top. I am a 36 DD natural and when some women would complement my breast or how much I pay for them or how badly they want big breast. Big breast aren’t what they seem yes they are nice and can fill out a top but the attention is so noticeable guys are like drooling dogs over a nice set of boobs, it can be depressing knowing that someone only likes you physically and doesn’t want to take out time to get to know you personally.
This story is awful. I don’t think women or men should change they are to please another person. There will always be regret. Jasmine did so much so she can please Tim. It is nature that we are not perfect and we all have flaws that others should accept. I would never date a man who said I needed to wear extra makeup or lose some weight. A person should be accepted of how they are, not how someone wants them to be. It is unfortunate how many women are self conscious about their breasts and have considered breast enlargements. Surgery is very risky and can damage a person permanently. Women and men need to love themselves more and not how society wants to shape them.
First, it’s shocking that so many doctors discouraged Jasmine from having her implants removed when they were so obviously the source of her health problems.
I also think this story says something about the dangers of plastic surgery, ESPECIALLY for impressionable young women who don’t have a very strong sense of self. I don’t think people should be allowed to have plastic surgery that young; when you’re that age, you aren’t think about what you might want in the next ten years or about consequences. All plastic surgery comes with risk and danger. Why have a purely cosmetic procedure done when it could affect your entire life?
Also, it seems crazy that Jasmine’s husband, Brad, ended up divorcing her after she had her implants removed. He obviously knew how unhappy she was with them, and saw how they affected her health. If a man will only be with you if you look a certain way, he obviously doesn’t really love you. There are PLENTY of good men out there who don’t care about bust size. The men who give you attention for having big boobs are not the type of man you want to be with.
This article makes me very angry. When you decide to marry a man it should be because he accepts you just the way you are. As you get older looks will fade away but its the connection that you have with that person that will last. It disgusts me that there are men out there who only see their significant others as trophy wives. This attitude is only a reflection of what society has come to expect from women. Its incredible disappointing that more and more men are asking women to look and act like porn stars. Porn stars are caricatures of women and in no way depict how real women act or feel.Porn serves only to objectify women for the sole purpose of only pleasing a man. Breast implants are truly evil in that their only purpose is to create an image that visually appealing to men. Not only do women lose sensitivity after a breast augmentation but they they also develop a false sense of confidence. Women need men who will love them regardless of their breast size. They need a men who are just as concerned about their significant others happiness as their own. A real man wouldn’t ask a woman to put her health on the line for artificial beauty. A man who says that he’d accept you only if you changed…needs to be kicked to the curb.
This has happened to many women in our society. We are made to feel unworthy if we look a certain way. In this case if our boobs aren’t big enough. It’s a sad reality because if we are realistic most women will never have the ideal breast size unless we undergo surgery. A vast amount of women are getting surgery not because their life depends on it but because they want to appeal to men. Many women are pressured into risking their lives in order to get the ideal breasts size. Women give into this because they fear that they will not be loved. I have small breast. Sometimes my dresses don’t fit right because they are too big in that area. I have to sow the strands in for my dresses to fit. Even though I have small breast that make it harder for me to find dresses I would not ever consider getting implants. I was born this way so why should I risk my body just for the sake of this society that requires so much effort from women but doesn’t but many high standards for men. Why are we being taught to hate our bodies instead of loving it the way it is.
This just needs to stop. When people are willing to risk their lives in order to achieve an unhealthy and unattainable goal, then you know that something is wrong. I believe that some things are worth dying for. Like the people you love. Or the causes that you truly believe in. But this? This is not worth dying for. And it’s so sad that so many people choose to risk their lives in order to try to satisfy this society’s insatiable appetite for something that just doesn’t exist. And things will probably get worse before they get better ( still waiting to hear about belly button removals becoming a real thing, if they aren’t already.) It’ll take a lot of effort to get people to realize that Frankenwoman does not exist. She’s about as real as Count Chocula ( and probably just as “sexy”). Men need to realize that they need to love the woman they love for who they are, and need to realize that by trying to fulfill their own “needs”, they are just harming this person they say they love. And these women need to find better men, but then again, even the best of men are probably brainwashed by now and dealing with their own body issues. And this makes me question what I want out of a partner. Are the things I look for in a guy just an unrealistic amalgamation of body parts that cannot exist on the same person, or am I being reasonable? My opinion on the matter changes almost daily, but I still hope that I can learn to just love someone for who they are if that isn’t the case already.
This is not shocking in today society! In fact many teenagers for their high school graduation do not get a car instead a new pair of fake boobs, I remember when I was about to graduate I saw that some girls would come back from winter break looking larger around the chest area and when asked some would proudly say that they were a graduation present. The pressure that young girls are put to look a certain way is horrible, they have to have an unrealistic body type and the younger they look the better, especially when it comes to men. The story of Jasmine reminds me of my uncles’ new wife. He was with his first wife for twenty five years until he started to have an affair with a twenty year old and at this time he was in his late thirties. My aunt after twenty years being in an abusive relationship and finding out her husband was having an affair with a much younger woman finally got a divorce. Quickly after he married the women he was having an affair with and started to make her into his trophy wife. He got her breast implants, had liposuction, Botox, chin reduction, went on a diet, and he got her a gym membership. After having a wife for twenty five years he got a much younger woman and made her into his fantasy! There are many stories of women who get breast implants because it will determine their marriage or they want to please their husband. As it happened to my cousin who found out her husband was starting to cheat on her and decide to get breast implants to save her marriage. It is sad to see that women have to look unrealistic in order for them to be accepted by society and men.
I am shock to hear this story and I am glad people talk about this issue because often time things don’t go the way many plan. I personally was thinking about getting implants. My sister always makes fun of how small my breasts are and so have some guys I have dated. I just got the idea that maybe if I get my breast done I would be part of the “norm.” My mom also wanted to have her breast done because she was diagnose with pre-cancerous cells and when she got her operation, her breast was small, and so she wanted implants. But if we are going to get sick from doing that, then I would not risk my life or my moms. I think that the norm should be about accepting those who are fine just being their natural self, not by the enhancement of being perfect.
In our society the trend is for a women to look beautiful no matter what. It is sad to say that the ideal body type these days is to have big boobs or a big butt. Girls that have big boobs and butt are consider to be gorgeous and have the best body ever just like Kim Kardashian. In reality women have different body shapes that makes them look beautiful and unique. I agree with bell hooks, that given awareness to women about loving their bodies is not enough, but we have to change “the critique of sexist thinking and create new ways of seeing ourselves.” The most important lesson in this story is that we need to love our bodies before anyone wants to loves us back. We have to remind ourselves that the person that would loves us back should loves us for who we are internally not just physically. External beauty doesn’t last forever but our soul, spirit, personality, and heart are what should count as the ideal of being beautiful.
We live in a society where looks are everything. If your not born perfect don’t worry, there’s a solution for that. Cosmetic surgery is increasing not only on the clients but also younger woman and men are getting in on the action. I remember in high school my senior year everyone was talking about what our parents would give us as a gift once we graduate and there was one student who said she was going to get breast implants. I thought cosmetic surgery was only done for those who don’t like to age not on the young. However, every where you look someone has had cosmetic surgery. From a tummy tuck, to lipo, a face lift and the most popular breast enlargement. We should except what was given to us, its what reminds us where we came from. If we continue this soon you’ll here “Wow, you have the same nose structure as two of my friends”, no more “Looks like you got your mom’s cheek bones”. Our genetic identity will be lost. And I also hope Jasmine finds true love.
It’s very sad what women like Jasmine have had to face due to the pressure of others, especially the significant other. When you take such a big step with another person, such as marriage, you would think that you are being loved not only for your beauty, but for your personality as well. It’s pathetic how Brad let breast implants get in the way of his marriage with Jasmine. On another note, the doctor’s arrogance was also detrimental to Jasmines health. What bothers me almost as much as Brads disappointing decision to cheat on Jasmine is Jasmines previous husbands pressure to get her breast implants. The fact that he would only marry her on the condition that she would get breast implants should have been a red flag for her not to continue her relationship with him. Moreover, I do not put any of the blame on Jasmine, because she is a victim to the pressure of others. I know many people who had succumbed to the pressure of others. One major example of this is nose surgery, which is often not taken for health concerns, but rather for pure beauty purposes. I think we should stop feeding into societies pressure and start feeling better about ourselves.
feel so bad for Jasmine. Numerous times in my life I have contemplated breast augmentations, but the possible negative effects prevent me from going forward with the procedure. (As well as my belief as a Christian that God would dissaprove.) Both of the ex-husbands are jerks for being more concerned with outer beauty as opposed to inner beauty, but I am sure there are alot more men like this. Thanks to God, I was blessed with a husband who loves me and my body just the way God made it. Anytime I bring up surgery, he objects to it. Though I say that surgery would be just for me, it is the media idolizing big breasts that gets this idea intomine, and many other women (and men’s) head.
Poor Jasmine. This article makes me so angry. When you marry someone, you have to love the person that you are marrying for who they are, not what their bra size is. It’s outrageous to me that any man actually thinks he has the right to say something like that to the woman that he “loves.” Everyone has a different body, everyone has their own unique features. Not every woman’s body can handle large breasts and no man should expect them to. Before this article, I never knew breast implants were so dangerous. Many times I’ve heard my friends crack jokes about how they’re going to get their “breasts done” in a couple years, and when I would hear it I would laugh along and even encourage it. But now I know better.
This is a very interesting article. I think it is sad everything that Jasmine went through. Jasmine went through a lot of health issues and emotional pain. The factors that led for her breast implants were not worth the pain she went through. At the end of the day she was left alone with her pain. Women should really read this article and think twice before they decide to get their breast done. Often women get their breast done to be accepted in society, to be noticed, and to compete with other women. Women often get their breat done to satisfy others rather than themselves. In my opinion I think the media has played an important role in women wanting to get their breast done. The media portrays women with big breast and a big ass. They often exagerrate a womens body, meaning their body is fake and unrealistic. Women want to gain attention and they feel bigger breast will give them the attention but they are wrong. Today women do not accept their bodies and want to make changes and it all goes back to the media. Media influences women to change their body and not accept their body as is.
The pressure for women to be beautiful is horrible. Magazines, media, etc, all contribute to the low self esteem and the extreme measures that women take to make themselves look like what society deems as beautiful. Not only does it brain wash the women, but men get brainwashed as well in this so called standard of beauty. Both sexes unfortunately have a warped sense of what beauty really is. One of the things that baffled me the most in this article, is the way that no doctor (with the exception of one) wanted to help Jasmine; each doctor left her to die. That’s why in the end, we must truly learn how to accept and love ourselves for who we are because in the end, trying to meet the standards of someone else will leave us worse off and even possibly dead.
This article makes me sick to my stomach! The fact that we as women have so much pressure on us to be perfect and model like just makes me want to puke. Literally. This poor women was in a vulnerable state at the age of 18 and went on to please her boyfriend. I have to admit that my second boyfriend, which was my first true love, had said along the same lines of what brad said. I was eighteen fresh out of high school when I met him. He was the jock football player that everyone loved. He could have any girl he wanted he was so good looking. I was a no body in high school didn’t play a sport or join any clubs because a year into high school I had to make a decision to keep dancing or have surgery so I quit dancing and got a job. But the weird thing was is that this hot jock didn’t want the caption of the cheer leading team he wanted me. I was infatuated with him and at the time I thought he was feeling the same way as me to. As our relationship went on we “fell in love” or so I thought and I can remember we talked about our future all the time and one night I remember him saying I cant wait to take you to the same doctor that did my mom’s boobs. And I remember looking at him thinking WTF is wrong with my boobs. I had an ass why do I need boobs too. He said that his wife, which he vowed I would be one day, had to have big boobs. I went along with him because I was in love same reason as Jasmine. Thank goodness I didn’t go out to please him because we broke up. I just wish that this stigma of girls having to have big boobs would diminish. It is terrible and makes me want to look at males and say well your junk isn’t big enough and if you want to marry me you need to fix it. Anyways I wish that women would teach their young daughter to not be influenced by these “rules.” Especially because with all the doctors ready to cut open anyone we forget that these surgeries can have serious serious health concerns.
The ideal of the perfect woman needs to be dropped. No one is perfect and everyone looks different. Diversity is what makes people so beautiful; the fact that no two people are alike inside and out is amazing! It is very difficult to have a positive self-image, but to gain self-esteem you have to love yourself. Easier said than done of course. Jasmine’s experiences are horrible, and it is sad that many people experience the same things in order to reach perfection and acceptance. What I found repulsive aside from her two husbands were the surgeons who said she was exaggerating and that if she removed the implants, she would no longer be beautiful or be less desirable. Her health was irrelevant to them, as long as she met their distorted criteria for beauty. It was horrible that the surgeons wouldn’t do anything for her.
Jasmine endured so much physical and emotional pain. She had the strength and courage to pursue answers and understanding about her implants, but as is with many of us, women and men, we can so easily lapse back into a familiar place of comparison, doubt, and pressure to meet assumed expectations. It didn’t shock me that, “Despite the initial pressure into getting breast implants, her regret over getting implants and the fact that they nearly ended her life, she confided in me that there were several occasions in which she contemplated getting that next pair,” but it struck me that as sad as her admittance to thinking about another implant was, I expected it. What was shocking though, was identifying my own complacency, with the thought, “of course she will think about getting another pair.” I see now how embedded in me are these standards of what is “normal,” what is “expected,” and what lengths someone should go to attain them. Jasmine had to work really hard to gain health and healing, so it is so sad to me that similar to her, most of us still face a mountain of society’s standards and judgments. It is a difficult feat to accept oneself when we live in a culture determined to find perfection.
Women all over are emotionally abused by the person they are with. Everything always starts out great and the person makes you feel like a million bucks—but then when they start to get comfortable, the praising and security you once felt begins to deplete. This is definitely the case for Jasmine. Women are always trying to better their appearance by doing drastic things such as plastic surgery. It has become so common that saying you are going to see your plastic surgreon is like saying you’re going to the dentist. It sounds routine. Media also shows that women should do these things because it will make their men happy. I do not care what anyone says, but there will be a man out there that loves you for exactly how you look. People change all the time, we get older, we have babies—things happen. The person you are with should be there and comfort you through all of that. However, what ends up happening is women begin to feel that their partner is right and their partner “deserves” to have a trophy looking wife. No. What needs to happen first is that a woman needs to love herself.
Jasmine’s story truly demonstrates the incredible pressures that woman go through to embody the ideal image of the perfect woman. Although, it’s a story that happens all the time, to numerous different woman, I feel it isn’t a story that is told enough. It’s sickening how much her fiancé drove her to get those implants in the first place and it is even more disheartening how Brad proclaimed that it was his right to be with the big breasted woman he first married. Love, when its true, transcends all images of the body. A true love, will not care how you look, whether you’re breasts are too small, you’re nose too big or if you’ve gained a few pounds. True love is so much more than that and if a man ever drives his woman to endure this life threatening procedures then, its not love at all. Although its easier said than done, woman should strive to be happy with their own bodies just the way they are rather than aiming to be the ideal image of the woman a man wants them to be. I wouldn’t wish Jasmine’s experience on any woman, risking her health and well being just to please a man, a man who she later realized wasn’t worth it at all. I think before she can move forward and truly find love in a man that loves her exactly the way she is, she has to be able to accept her own body and be happy with it. Once she does, I guarantee, love will come knocking on her door.
Jasmine’s story truly demonstrates the incredible pressures that woman go through to embody the ideal image of the perfect woman. Although, it’s a story that happens all the time, to numerous different woman, I feel it isn’t a story that is told enough. It’s sickening how much her fiancé drove her to get those implants in the first place and it is even more disheartening how Brad proclaimed that it was his right to be with the big breasted woman he first married. Love, when its true, transcends all images of the body. A true love, will not care how you look, whether you’re breasts are too small, you’re nose too big or if you’ve gained a few pounds. True love is so much more than that and if a man ever drives his woman to endure these life threatening procedures then, its not love at all. Although its easier said than done, woman should strive to be happy with their own bodies just the way they are rather than aiming to be the ideal image of the woman a man wants them to be. I wouldn’t wish Jasmine’s experience on any woman, risking her health and well being just to please a man, a man who she later realized wasn’t worth it at all. I think before she can move forward and truly find love in a man that loves her exactly the way she is, she has to be able to accept her own body and be happy with it. Once she does, I guarantee, love will come knocking on her door.
It is horrible that women feel that they are not good enough. While I myself have had thoughts that if I was just a little bit taller and had bigger boobs I would get more attractive guys, I have never actually considered getting any surgery done. However, there are girls that I know that are only eighteen-years-old and have already had a boob job because they claimed it to be their one insecurity. I think it is really sad that women feel such intense pressure to be and look perfect from society. We are all shown countless TV shows that portray a beautiful princess whom captivates this handsome prince and they live happily ever after. Sadly, we have learned that if we are not that beautiful princess, we will never get that handsome prince. Because, for the most part, “those kind of guys” are not looking for someone sweet and caring, but instead are looking for the girl next door.
The story about Jasmine is shocking. I was shocked by the attitude of her first boyfriend who showed her off as if she was a trophy because she had breast implants. The fantasy men have with unrealistic women in the media creates this expectation of what women should look like. Men are aware that those images are unrealistic and it is a false ideal, but still judge women on that fantasy. Women then are expected to meet that unrealistic image even harming their bodies if they need to achieve that image. Younger girls are having their breast implanted and are probably not aware of the huge amounts of risks involved. The media is sexualizing children at a younger and younger age, and it is completely acceptable. It was amazing that Jasmine was able to realize that the breast implants did not bring her the love she was looking for. Most women for example my younger sister believe that if their breast were a size bigger it will bring them the happiness they are searching for. Women need to become aware that a breast size does not determine their happiness.
I can’t believe the amount of times she went to doctors only to be rejected. Even if the implants weren’t being problematic, she should’ve had the right to remove them regardless of the reason. Anyways, I have to say that I have never liked breast implants, I have always preferred how real breast look and feel (regardless of the size), and I couldn’t understand why women would get them in the first place. My first guesses were that women are insecure so they must get breast implants to boos their confidence, or that some women just love attention. While these are true, most importantly we have to look at the broader picture…the mass media. We see daily images of 100% perfect women and men in advertisements. These images instill in us the “ideal” body type, and these images are more potent and dangerous for women. I suggest resisting these forces, I would prefer to see average women and men in advertisement without using techniques like: airbrushing and computer editing. Let the true figure of the human body be shown in its beautiful natural form.
This story made me really sad because I know that so many women go through these types of terrible struggles just to try and look beautiful. At first I thought the first boyfriend was a jerk and that the new husband must have been a nice guy. Once I caught on at the end of the story and realized the husband also was saying such cruel comments to her it really hurt me. I feel society puts so much pressure on women to look beautiful yet beauty some how translates to an unnatural ideal of how a woman should look. I am guilty of being pressured into these types of ideals to a certain extent. Although I have not had any plastic surgery or botox injections, I do regulate what I call my “beautifying” to a certain extent. I have bought expensive products for my hair and have kept it very long. Many guys tell me never cut your hair it look so beautiful long. No matter what I do to my hair I always feel it could be more shiny or softer yet the products I would have to use on my hair to achieve this such as hair dye I would damage my hair so I just try to use natural treatments. Also, I go to the gym quite often (mainly to stay healthy) yet what I see going on in the women’s sauna is really sad. I see women who wrap their bodies in suran wrap, have sweat belts on, wear sweat pants and sweat shirts, wear plastic bags, and on top of it all they even exercise in the sauna. Whenever I see women doing any of this in the sauna it upsets me because I know that some day some one will have a heat stroke or pass out in there all in the name of looking beautiful. The conversation in the sauna is even worse than the actions. Many women will ask others “what are you doing to stay so skinny?” and they reply “Girl I never eat. Or they say I drink this drink that makes me go to the bathroom.” One woman at my gym was even shown on the news because her and her sister were injecting women’s buttocks with caulking that you use in construction and one woman died. I hope that some day women will be accepted as they are and men will love them regardless of them not looking “perfect.”
This true story by Jasmine has become a really eye opener in today’s society how many women are not comfortable within their own beauty. As summer session is coming soon, we see many women caring about their body and doing ridiculous things to their body for them to “fit in” society. For example, my cousin that a year older than me, she was born naturally beautiful but she didn’t like the fact that she didn’t have an average butt a women could have. First of all, I explained to her that they is never going to be a correct answer in society of having the perfect body that relates to having a perfect butt or breast. But as she didn’t listen to me, she started taking a few different kind of pills, and after 1 month, she ended in the hospital. Since my cousin has taking a vast majority of different pills, her body reacted negatively and lead her being in the hospital. Until this day, after what happen to my cousin, she still has the mentally that she want to have a “normal butt” since she claims to have a “flat butt.” This then shows how not only my cousin and Jasmine are a few women that I know that they suffer through having the ideal prefect body, but it demonstrates how women are more unsecure about their body than men are. What I truly believe that is sad in Jasmine’s story is how many men pressure their women to have perfect bodies. I find this being extremely sad since what beautiful about every person, is what is inside them. I believe that looks and body should not be considering something to be beautiful, since at the end of the day, we always see people doing ridiculous things to their body. For example, we see women going to the tan salons, or tanning in the beach, or using certain creams to get rid of their stretch marks. We then look at society, who really creates these norms or rules that people should look like a certain way. At the end of the day, it is unfortunate that us (people) makes these judgments and stereotypes for people that don’t fit in into society. I believe that we make the problems for women and men to spend all this money to have an ideal body to fit in society. At last, the only reason we could stop and make people understand for their safety and own health, is bringing awareness and have the true story of Jasmine for people to know and look up to this incredible women that she is now.
Jasmine is one of the many women in Society who suffers from the unrealistic ideal of what our society considers beauty. I’ve heard of so many plastic surgery stories gone wrong that I am terrifed to ever go under the knife and get a nip or tuck. Its sad that women are only valued for one thing and that is their “Bodies”. Yet, men and society are looking just for any old women’s body. They want a slender woman with large breast, small waist line and a big butt. This ideal of what women should look like is ridiculous and the idea that women should maintain this body ideal for ever is even more ridiculous. I understand that our significant others want us “women” to remain looking like the women they marry, but that idea should go both ways. Why is it that only woman are required to keep their body’s and looks up? Why shouldn’t these same ideals be held to men? Our socity has very sad ideals of what woman should look like and it only seems to be getting worse as time progresses.
After reading this blog post the first thing that I thought about was the fact that I myself have thought about getting breast augmentation surgery. I am a natural size 34 DDD which is quite large and I wanted to have a bust size that was slightly smaller and allowed me to go without a bra if I so choose. That being said I can understand Jasmines almost rejection of the way she was looked at after her surgery. Since I hit puberty I have had to endure lewd looks and comments from my peers and now that I am older those looks have seemed to only increase as well as the box that people seem to want to put me in because of my body shape. It often comes as a surprise to people when they learn that I am a Biology major student with hopes of becoming a doctor. As if my enlarged breast size cuts off the oxygen supply to my brain making it impossible for me to actually be intelligent! I think that the important thing in this article is that while women are busy making themselves lovable they must realized that you cannot expect anybody to love you if you do not already love yourself. I have had many successful relationships that were not centered on my body type, I gained and lost weight all during the span of one relationship and never did I feel any less loved or appreciated. There are men out there that care more about a woman than what she looks like and while I want to say that Jasmine just happened to find the two assholes that put too much value in appearances the fact is there are quite a lot of them out there. However we as mothers and aunts and cousins etc. have to teach our girls to value themselves enough so that the views of others don’t skew the view and love that they have for themselves.
I have always been cognizant of the fact that society places a great deal of emphasis on feminine beauty ideals, but I was unaware of the trials and tribulations women face when opting to remove their implants. Jasmine experienced several negative health outcomes as a result of her breast implants, yet several of the doctors she visited emphasized the physical consequences of removing them, rather than acknowledge her serious medical concerns. It is astonishing that licensed practitioners would fall victim to society’s infatuation with beauty when their primary objective should be to ensure the mental and physical well-being of their patients. I find this utterly perturbing and extremely disheartening. I cannot even fathom going through what Jasmine had to endure over the course of several years. Simply put, a woman’s worth is should not be measured by her desirability. This poor woman altered her body to please her boyfriend and ended up paying the ultimate price by nearly losing her life. She succumbed to the pressure imposed on her by the most important person in her life at the time, but ultimately realized sacrificing her life was not worth the attention she received from men.
I myself, am a petite young women with average-sized breasts. I have a small frame, and have had a few individuals ask me where I had my boobs done during my teenage years. I found the experience of others staring at my breasts so humiliating that I started to wear more conservative tops in junior high and high school. The funny thing was, I do not even have large breasts. I wear a B-cup, but on my small frame, they look more like C’s. Now that I am in my twenties, I can say that I have considered going a size up, but after reading this article I am definitely more skeptical. I do not think I would be willing to sacrifice my general health just to have a more buxom appearance. Self-acceptance is key, and although everyday is a struggle, I will continue to work towards my goal of assuming a positive self-concept.
While I was reading this article, I kept thinking about how painful that whole ordeal seemed. I can’t see why any woman would choose to go through that difficult, painful process unless they were acting under the pressure that sexist men and the media were putting on them to have the perfect body. So what if your breasts aren’t large enough to fill out a swim suit? Does it really even matter? Women have so many more amazing assets to be proud of whether their tall, short, thin or curvy that they be trying to appreciate what they were blessed with rather than focusing only on their shortcomings. However this is really hard to do when everywhere we turn, we’re seeing women like the Victoria’s Secret models or Angelina Jolie who men believe are the best kind of beauty. I wish that every time a woman considered going through a breast enlargement surgery for the benefit of those around them, they were told to read this story. It might help them to make an informed decision and to appreciate their natural beauty that they were blessed with.
While reading this article I could not help but think how could doctors, who are meant to care for a person’s health, back- up society’s view that women have to be sexually appealing for men at any cost. The fact that doctors would care more about Jasmine continuing to be sexually objectified, rather than live longer, is astonishing and inhumane. It is hard to wrap one’s mind around the thought of not only one, but several doctors, being so unethical. Also, reading that Jasmine’s husband cheated on Jasmine with another woman makes me angry. It makes me upset that someone would cheat on a person solely based on looks and beauty, rather than for a meaningful reason. The wedding vows do not state: “I will marry you and be with you until I no longer consider you beautiful.” If everyone in society went around marrying people just because of their beauty, then our divorce rate would be much higher in our society than it already is. It seems that our society is going backwards, rather than progressing. This is saddening for our future generations. Also, women’s voices are left out of the picture since we are basing the definition of beauty on a Western male perspective. I still recall when I chose the topic of breast implants for my college freshman year English class and the professor (White male) was marking me down because I was mentioning a study he did not agree with. The study I used in my essay was based on how there is a higher percentage of women with breast implants who are experiencing depression than women without breast implants. My White male professor did not agree with this study because he mentioned his wife has implants and is “very happy.” Ultimately, I did not take the study out of my essay and to this day I am proud for having confronted the professor about this and not going along with his patriarchal views.
After reading this article I’m sure Jasmine’s story is one of many untold stories out there, about the consequences and insecurity that arise when people alter their bodies to please other people instead of themselves. It’s a saddening that our society places such a large emphasis on the aesthetics of the human body, this being a prime example. There are many consequences that can emerge from going through such drastic measure to please other’s in this case it was a number of things such as her health both physically and mentally, and her faith in men, with a failed marriage to an arrogant buffoon and the need to feel the previously undesired attention she once received from other guys. Those cosmetic doctors are equally baffling instead of hearing her need of aid, they refused to even listen to her because all they care about is her appearance, oh you won’t look right without these fake boobs, your illness can’t have any connection to these questionable implants. MTV had a segment in their True Life series that demonstrates Jasmine’s story, a young attractive body building women wanted to boost her modeling career by getting bigger breasts, but months later she felt sick, and the episode followed her journey until she had them removed and began to accept herself. Jasmine’s journey was without a doubt incredibly difficult, but I’m sure she’s a better person for going through this experience and is a prime example to not drastically alter one’s self for the sake of love.
It amazes me what a woman would do to be desired, liked, loved, and/or accepted. Not that thinking of getting a tummy tuck never crossed my mind, because it has. I can’t say that I’ve been completely unhappy with myself or my body, although I have been a little unhappy since having my daughter. But to seek surgery to fix something I can fix myself or change something I wasn’t born with, it doesn’t appeal to me. It all boils down to media and the entertainment business. There are many things women and children see on T.V. and wish they could be like. It’s unfortunate that we as women don’t love ourselves that much. No matter what size or shape we are beautiful and not one person will truly love someone more just because they have bigger boobs, butt, or calves. Love is unconditional and it should start with loving yourself first.
All I can think and say as I read this article is “OUCH!”. How insensitive men can be, shallow and superficial, there are so many beautiful women out there and men will always want more. This is why women invented the feminist movement; women are tired of being jerked around as objects for men to show off with. Despite the many medical complications women will always go under the knife for the perfect body, not because of themselves but because of society. Beauty has been put in a pedestal in society and has become the norm among women who can afford it and who cannot as well. Women will do whatever it takes to keep that man, fit in with their friends, or simply look good for that dream job or just to look good because it’s fashionable. I say if it’s dangerous for your health stay away from it. Men will come and go, fashions will come and go, and health is something you can’t be tampering with.
Reading and analyzing these blogs I can honestly say I am so glad I took this course. Everything I have read I can relate to my own life. It was so sad to see what your friend Jasmine went through. I myself am a tiny woman, but when it comes to my breasts they are not exactly what I would hope for. I have considered in the past getting implants to improve my body image, and to look better in a bikini top, but my husband wouldn’t allow me too because he would say he likes me the way I am, and he married me not for my breasts but the person I am inside. I was very sad when I read the part about Jasmine getting the divorce after she took her implants out, because she had decided not to get new ones. Her husbands should’ve been with her to support her, and hold her hand through all the pain she had suffered from, instead he was concerned she didn’t have the implants any longer. I know he had stated he meet her when she had large breasts, but she wasn’t happy and healthy with the implants and if he loved her he wouldn’t continue to talk about her getting them back in. With that said, I am glad they got divorced, and hope she will find someone who truly loves her the way she is, not the way her breasts look. I think every women is self conscious about their body, and how large or small their breasts are, but we should be thankful with what we have, and accept our body rather than change it.
After reading this article, I feel I have more respect for myself than I did before I read this article. I say that because I would never let a man be with me and propose to me after an ultimatum. If a man wants to be with you, he should love you and respect you for the person you are, and not what your body image portrays. Reasons like this is where male dominance in our society takes place, and women feel they are vulnerable and can not speak out because they believe just because one guy did not like your body image all the rest of guys will hate it as well. Women need to stand up for themselves and respect who they are so the man that approaches them will respect them as well. If a man notices that you are weak and do not voice your opinion he will walk all over you and control you. In Jasmines case, I do feel sad for her that she was put in the situation because it ultimately came out to be that her husband married her for her image and not for the person she was. In the end she ended up being hurt because her life was on the life and her husband did not care about her. When her husband first mentioned about the breast implants, and that was the only way he was going to marry her, she should have walked away and found someone who would have loved her for who she really was. Not be the person who some guy wanted her to be
Jasmine’s story made me think a lot about my sister in law. She has a tiny frame, beautiful but she is constantly being criticized by men that tell her she would look better with larger breasts. Although she is only an A, I think she looks wonderful. I know that it is difficult for her because she is surrounded by women with larger breasts. I also have a petite body but my mother made me with larger breasts. I find it verify difficult to shop for bras that are size 36 DD. I am always embarrassed when I am shopping for them. I sometimes wish I had a smaller size but then again why change myself when this is how God made me. I am constantly telling Women with smaller breasts to really think about getting implants. Some bodies were not made to handle bigger breasts. For example Heidi Montag, who got breast implants and later regretted it. She just did not look right and her life was in danger. If I could, I would travel the world advising women to not get implants just to make a man happy. If they want to get implants it should be for themselves.
This story has completely changed my mind about how I feel about my own breast. Even though I am an independent woman and believe that every woman should have the right to decide what they want to do to their bodies regardless of what their partners say, I have never really taken the time to think about the negative aspects plastic surgery can bring in to a women life after getting it. I ways say to myself that my breast size is not good enough and how it would look better if I had plastic surgery, but I have never taken the time to think if is just me wanting to please myself or please others, or for others “men” to see me differently. The only thing that I can say is that I appreciate having a boyfriend that loves me regardless of how big my breast is. He always tells me that he loves me just the way I am, and that having bigger breast doesn’t mean others would like me more or less. Getting plastic surgery to have bigger boobs doesn’t always mean that it would make women happier, instead it can destroy them.
I think it so sad how women have to live up to this standard of beauty that is unreachable to most that it is almost deadly. With images of buxom women in magazines, television and all over the media it is so hard to escape these ideals. Media attention on breasts is so unbelievabley sad that I have even seen my young cousins (as young as 8 years old) putting balloons inside their shirts in order to look like they have large breasts. Companies such as Victoria’s Secret have even gone as far as to sell a line of bras that are filled with some sort of saline solution in the cups to make it appear as if one has large “natural” breasts. The emphasis on the size of ones breasts overshadows what really counts in a woman and that is her mind, the ability to speak up for herself, be independent and define beauty for herself.
Jasmine’s story is so sad, yet so common. I know a lot of young girls who are saving up money for plastic surgery, they feel their life will change if they fit a certain image, but the possible health risks are showing us that yes your life my change after the surgery…but it could be for the worse. I think most girls in our society feel that they are untouchable, that those surgery “horror stories” couldn’t happen to them, but the reality is that it could happen to anyone. I knew a girl in high school who wanted breast implants since we were 14 and like she said, a few days after she turned 18 before our high school graduation, she got her breast implants as a present from her dad. I couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t understand it! She’s 21 years old now with a fake size C bust, flaunting them around like they are a new pair of jewlery. All I have been able to notice is that plastic surgery gets you the wrong type of attention. You get the attention of men or women who are only focusing on the outside. My friend says that these breasts will help her find “her man”, but I just wonder if the type of person she attracts by her breasts will be a genuinely caring guy who adores her personality and cares about her feelings rather than if she looks “hot” standing next to him. The story of your friend Jasmine is just so heartbreaking, I don’t want to have to see my friend go down that path too. There is something seriously wrong with the way the women in our society think about themselves. When girls are willing to possibly risk their lives for beauty, that is a huge problem. I have never considered plastic surgery, and I think that is because I have had a strong support group of other women telling me that that isn’t the right way to go, but I know not all girls and women have a support group to boost their self-confidence. – D.O.
I am at a loss of words after reading this article. It absolutely sucks that Jasmine had to go through so much trouble to get her implants removed and the emotional roller-coaster rides she had to go through with her relationships. I am so thankful that this article was written because it will provide women with a reason as to why they should not get breast implants. Yes they make you look great but after getting them, you have to start wondering if the men you are attracting are interested in your or your implants. Even with having nice implants you have to worry about your health and possible issues that may arise because of the implants. What’s more important? Getting implants or respect, real love and a healthy body!
I am deeply sorry that Jasmine had to experience any of these things. It’s crazy how doctors are so quick to “install” the implants but are slow and hesitant when it comes time to remove them. It is very sad that Jasmine was cheated on because she removed her implants and decided not to get another pair; guess we all know what he was around for.
This article and Jasmine’s experiences shows how much women will do to look a certain way to where she can feel accepted and desired by society. Although, things such as breast implants will make you physically look different, they may not be worth it because inside you are slowly becoming unhealthy.
Takisha B.
I can not believe how much trouble Jasmine had to go through just to get her implants removed, that has me very shocked. I think society plays a huge role influencing young girls into doing “what is right” just to be pretty. It is expected that every young girl and women are going to have the “perfect” body. I am 24 years old and I have very small breast and I have always felt unsecure because of that, however, I have never considered getting breast implants because I know that won’t fix the problem. I know I have to do what makes me happy and if someone loves me, they will need to love me for who I am and not my breast. I have been made fun of since I middle school because I did not develop any breast until high school, and it was not even that noticeable. I think that it is harder when you have friends that have bigger breast because they have cleavage and they can wear certain shirt and they bathing suits might fit nicer. However, I been lucky enough to met my boyfriend that likes me for who I am. He has actually mentioned that he prefers women with small breast and for me that sounds weird because I am used to guys talking about how they like their girls to have large breast and butts. I think that women need to learn to love themselves for who there are and not try to make society happy. In my opinion that is something that has to be taught to girls at a very young age.
I am petrified. This is so scary. I can’t believe she had to go through such trouble only to find herself in a dark cold place. It must have been so heartbreaking. I think up to a certain limit women need to be selfish about how they look. Selfish as in terms of wanting to keep their own bodies and leaving it the way they are. In many ways, women feel that men are the only ones to fulfill a huge part in their lives.But, I disagree because you should love yourself first and not depend on someone else to do it for you. Self respect is huge and having a dysfunctional relationship with yourself will make it visibly noticeable to the ones around you. I say that we as women need to understand that when our boyfriends or husbands don’t love us to the full extent because we don’t look a certain way then we should soon then and there know their expectations are unrealistic and harsher on us because the society loves to prey on our insecurities. Show the men our real selves and what real beauty is. Ask yourself who you are. If you don’t know don’t depend on someone else to define who you are because no one will know you more than you know yourself. Keep asking yourself and until you come to realize that it’s YOU that makes you, you find someone who also agrees with you. Pleasing others come after self respect. Jasmine teaches us a great lesson to take care of our bodies as much as we care about how our partners think of us as more beautiful. If you’re willing to make sacrifices to please someone else then you should definitely feel willing to please yourself first.
It’s so sad that many men care more about a woman’s boobs or ass than her personality. Brad saw that his wife, the woman he “loved” almost died because of her implants yet he still pressures her to repalce them after getting them removed. I saw a program on MTV where they showed a mother trying to get bigger implants. She already had boobs that were bigger than her head but yet she wanted more because she loved the attention. Many women are believed that that their looks are more important and the bigger the boobs or ass, the more attention they’ll receive.
I don’t understand how these so-call doctors didn’t want to remove the implants. Who cares if Jasmine would look deform, her life is more important than some fake boobs! Sure for many people looks matter but the person’s personality is what should matter the most.
its upsetting to read that even thought jasmine new that there was something wrong with her implants she was seen as being crazy. It got so bad that jasmines body was shutting down for a doctor to agree with her that the breast implants were killing her. If women did not feel so much pressure by society to look a certain way jasmine would of never been pressured into getting the implants. Society and the the male expectation of females should change then women would not struggle so much with there body image.
This article is really great!
I just wondered about several things:
1. You talk about one beauty ideal that makes the lives of women difficult.
I am not sure whether that is really true, because most people I know (male and female) acknowledge the beauty of very different types of women. I also don’t think that the problem is only the perceived homogenity of the beauty ideal or if it is the stress that is placed on beauty in general (although I am not sure if I really contradict you here, I guess you see it the same way). And in my experience this is not only true for girls. Of course, from an early age on, we are told how cute we are, but I think most of us got also different compliments and in my experience men nowadays feel the same pressure. I know for example many men who get total bodywaxing, inject testosterone and complain continuously about them being fat or not ale-looking enough – also form men that I considered highly attractive!
2. I wonder whether there is a really strong difference between media and society and esp. men. Of course you always see beautiful women in TV and magazines, but I hang out a lot of time with men with different social and ethnical backgrounds and ages. And also they really seem to appreciate beauty, they show very wide ranges of what they consider beautiful and when it comes to choose a girl that they want to ask out, these girls aren’t always the most beautiful ones around. Often I find women much more critical about their beauty as well as the one of others than men. But both gender are less critical than media are.
3. I think the problem is not only beauty, but our need for perfection. Most of us think that they have to do something, try to be perfect to achieve love. They don’t consider themselves love-worthy per se but because of what they achieved or some characteristics like beauty or money – if they even consider themselves love-worthy. And most people try to make themselves perfect, they cannot accept their weaknesses. Maybe it is also connected to the idea of control – control over themselves, over life, over everything. I think that this might also be connected to our dominating ideology, to capitalism and neoliberalism. We decide over our fortune, everybody can achieve anything he/she wants to if she/he only works hard enough. But what if it weren’t worth the time and energy that we put in it? What if some things weren’t up to us to change them, because we can not fully control everything. We do have agency, we can change society and our life’s, but one person can only change it to some extent. So maybe we would be happier if we hadn’t the wish to control everything and we accept that we will not achieve perfection and that love isn’t something that you have to earn.
4. The last thought I have is if your post that describes the Western culture really reflects the Western culture or just some part of it. I haven’t experienced it that extreme in Europe and I thing there are huge differences within Europe – based on variables like urban-rural contexts, north-south, class, age etc. And I guess this is true also for the USA.
I don’t think that this is a critique to your post, because I really liked it, but maybe we should think further about reasons and about differences, so that we have a clearer analysis. That might help us to change things. And if we find that in some contexts this problem is bigger than in others we might try to find out what it is to makes the difference.
Not only was this article informative in many different ways, but it was an amazing example of what women go through to have the “ideal body.” The part that got my attention the most was when Brad told Jasmine after currently removing her silicone implants when she was going to get the saline implants. I honestly could not believe this. After seeing all the pain and health risks she went through, he still had the nerve and that is because guys want what they see in the magazines of the perfect woman with the huge boobs. The poor girls who are constantly pressured want to be loved and to be loved some think you have to be beautiful, which is why women will do ANYTHING to be and feel attractive. I am really glad that Jasmine came to realization that getting the implants were a mistake physically and mentally. This has definitely taught me to love my body the way it is created and to not change it because society is showing me their perspective of beautiful. There are many side affects to surgeries like these, and women are better off in their natural state of beauty.
I am a small-build 24-yr-old with very minimal breasts. When the topic of breast implants has arisen in conversation, my reason for not wanting them is this: at the moment, when a man finds me attractive, he finds me so DESPITE the fact that I have small breasts. If I had breast implants, every time someone thought I was attractive all i would be thinking is, ‘it’s only cos I have these big fake breasts”.
The main thing that strikes me in this article is that you would barely ever hear a women tell her husband or boyfriend that he needed plastic surgery. Men are constantly bombarded of images of women who are “perfect,” skinny with big boobs. But these same men forget that they aren’t the picture perfect image of perfection and that they do not face the same constant criticism that women do.
Reading this article made me cringe. It saddens me to hear that a pair of breasts was the icebreaker in a relationship, or even a marriage. It is as if a woman’s worth is determined by her breast size, which is sadly, the reality in most cases. It is completely unfair because some women just were not born with the breast size that are so desirable by so many men. Such a heartbreaking story.
It is heartbreaking to see a marriage fall apart because of a woman’s breast size. This is a depiction of society as whole, with men’s focus on the female body instead of the female’s values as a person. Jasmine at least learned through her experience and can now use her anguish and turn it into gold by informing and inspiring.
I really hope Jasmine quits marrying a$$holes. This story is heartbreaking.
It’s so sad to see that our perceptions on beauty are so ingrained in us that we need to fight against others in terms of health over perfection. No view of perfection should stand before a person’s health, whether male or female.
This story is eye opening for me. By the end of the story, I felt depressed reading about Jasmine’s search for an ideal body. She never found acceptance from the people she married. Her second marriage was the hardest for me to read. The guy stays with her through most of the endeavor from the breast implants and then leaves as soon as she takes the implants out. The sadness and pain of her story has lessons within itself. You can not based your relationships on the only appearance. This may sound easy, but unfortunately most people(including myself) can not determine whether their love relationships are based on physical or mental traits. I am guy. I hope I never influence someone to get something done to their body they may regret later. I can only wish Jasmine the best from the whole ordeal.
These media-portrayed idealized images of women increase the number of dissatisfaction of our self-image and partner’s physical appearances. Our culture praises women for being thin and busty, or just something pretty to look at. When these ideal standards are not met, they become more self-conscious than naturally, and their anxiety towards their appearance heightens to a point, they feel they need to surgically change themselves, such as Jasmine. The roles for the male partner isn’t to encourage this behavior, but to let their female partners know they are appreciated /valued within their natural being, regardless the size of their breasts. It’s crucial for Jasmine to think for herself when her health is in risk, rather than pleasing her partner.
This article reminds me of a tattoo artist who refuses to tattoo people who are only seeking to receive tattoos to please their partners rather than to please themselves. People need to take ownership of their own bodies instead of relinquishing this authority to that of their partner. Medical procedures like cosmetic surgeries that have such disturbing consequences should also require a mandatory waiting period for the potential patient to decide upon the procedure, just as waiting periods are required by potential gun owners to prevent impulsive decision-making.
This article also highlights the widespread obsession (and absurd attraction to, as well as promotion of) breasts. Why heterosexual men worship these body parts is beyond me and simply does not make sense! In some African tribes, the most erogenous part of a woman’s body to a man is a woman’s inner thigh, which makes perfect sense as this area leads to the vagina, from which men derive physical pleasure. The breasts, however, are simply just MOUNDS OF DANGLING FATTY TISSUE so the attraction to them makes no sense! (Straight people are so weird when you think of it.) 🙂
This article is interesting because Jasmine wanted to be Tims perfect wife and therefore she got implants. Jasmone got her implants because of Tim not because she wanted to and this is something common. People do things to please others. Jasmine got her breast implants to please Tim and it almost cost her, her life.
It is scary that society could ruin one’s life like this. It might have been her choice to get a surgery at first, but it was clearly not her idea. No one probably wants there partner to be stupid or wants a partner who has a bad personality. I think everybody prefer god personality. But, in this situation, since the guys already have perfect women they wanted more. to be there ideal women. it is so sad that expectations of the society ruined one’s life so easily. Moreover, women treated more harsh than men in our current society. I think people should not judge others by their look. People should be judged by their personality.
It’s funny that big breats is essential. In this society, women are required to have big breasts and the lucky ones who do have them are admired.in this story, it’s ridiculous that Jasmine had to get plastic surgery in order to marry that guy. Obviously the guy does not truly love her and he’s not worth to be loved either. From reading this story I realized how the society pushes women to become prettier. Always, they have to think about their appearance and I know,as a girl, how stressful it is sometimes. Also many decides to get plastic surgery, which makes everyone look the same. Really, women should appreciate what their have and men should never force a girl to become their ideal image of girls.
Women are victims of society. Based on influeces, we get the idea of what is beautiful. I remember seeing movies from the 50’s or 60’s and most of the women there did not have fake books and they were still beautiful! I think what makes a woman beautiful is their personality! Physical beauty is not everything! I know a few beautiful girls who also had plastic surgeries done and their personality sucks! I have been witness of how men get turn off after talking to them for few minutes. A man who truely loves his girl would accept her just the way she is.
Next time when Jasmine is faced with a guy who tells her to get plastic surgery that she does not want, she should tell them to get their wangs to a decent size through surgery. See how well they agree and follow through with it.
This article undoubtedly portrays how most men only care about one’s physical beauty rather than inner beauty. In this situation, Jasmine had mistakenly listened to her husband, and went under the knife. However, it was her error in judgment to even continue in a relationship with a cold-hearted and selfish man whom only cared about his needs. Any man who tells his wife/girlfriend that she is perfect EXCEPT for a particular reason, is clearly not an agreeable person. The fact that he put her through a great amount of pain is unacceptable. This serves as an example for all women who are dealing with some type of insecurity and further illustrates how she should not aim to please anyone but herself. A man should accept you for who you are as a person, not how big your breasts are.
Daniel Bral
I looked over this article very sadly because most women are still having a lot of pressure on themselves due to other guy’s sights. Their pressure occur themselves, our society, media and their friends or boyfriends. So, it can makes them more pretty as a Barbie doll not as a human being. The women should have to have confidence about their out looking, and also, should have to focus on their inside more than outfit.
What i find most disturbing about this article are the men. Of course there are good men out there, but unfortunately Jasmine came across the superficial jerks that crave a “desirable” body that is hammered into many womens’ heads. It difficult for one to be happy with themselves when many men are not accepting of them or just do not want them at all. A lot of men forget about the qualities that really make a woman. Looks are not everything, they can only play out so much about a person, we forget about what goes on in the complex beautiful mind.
It is sad how women try to change their body image for men, no women should go through the humiliation of any man. It’s heart breaking to know that many young girls get breast implants in order to enhance their bodies, everyone is perfect the way they are they shouldn’t go under the knife to have silicon in them….there is no point.
This article is really great. It open the eyes of many young girls who contemplate distorting their bodies simply to please others. Girls often don not take into consideration the health hazards that are often so common and this article brings that to life. It also goes to show that no female should change their body for ANYONE specially not a man. Every female needs to learn how to love themselves for who they are because only then will they be able to find someone who also loves them just the way they are.
Every women in this world is beautiful. Women should be confident for who they are and let man know that you are no game, but a women that is worth it..
it is horrific to know that a man can tell a women that she is perfect except for the size of her breast. in our society today, women are influenced by the media that looks are what will achieve us happiness. cultivation has created a framework that women must go after all the procedures that will make them beautiful enough to be loved. which is essentially what caused Jasmine to forget about her values and get breast implants to satisfy her boyfriend.
This article clearly demonstrates the effect that media has not only on men’s view of what the perfect femal body should look like, but also on how women view themselves. Had Jasmin not have had felt pressured by society’s view, she would not have gone through such a tramatic experience.
Liana Nourafshan
It’s interesting to hear a woman’s perspective on how artificial breasts ruined her life whether than the other way around. It seems as if breast implants (socially) enhance a woman’s confidence, however what a fallacy this can be. Being a woman who is top heavy, without any enhancements, is not always easy because of the negative attention and ‘reputation’ we sometimes receive. This article unveils the subtle truths that some women that go under the knife endure; medical problems, unwanted attention, and a false sense of confidence that is destine to subside. This article was well researched, well written, and speaks about an aspect of breast implants that men most always do not recognize.
Hi Jasmine
I don’t know you but my heart went out to you when I read your story.Just wanted to say that the Prophet Muhammad taught a very wise thing being:”The Creator of the Universe Allah does not look at your body but he scans your heart and actions”.What matters when we live is our heart and what we do.Everybody if they don’t die young will get old and wrinkly.It’s a reality we can’t run from.The problem is that men only get th images of made-up women,wrinkle free everywhere they go and so they have become programmed like machines to feel women should be like these fake ads.Where are the men like Prophet Muhammad who married his first wife Khadeja who was 15 years older than him and then his second wife 61 years old.We need more men like that- what a champion he was.
what a informative article, especially for now a days that many women are in pressure to look beautiful.
The insidious curse of unobtainable physical perfection is a tragic epidemic in our culture. I hope more women find the strength to celebrate who they are naturally. That being said, I think it’s important to note that this article mentions that Jasmine’s first husband Tim, was “the hot guy in town”. I wonder how many average looking guys would have treated her with more respect and appreciated her natural beauty. Most (not all, but most) “hot” guys are superficial, manipulative jerks… women fall all over them and these guys learn that they can get away with anything. For the most part, men can be more shallow than women, and if a shallow man gets his “barbie doll” he probably doesn’t care too much about what’s going on in her head and heart. Women however are drawn to the “hot guys”, but also want them to be kind and supportive etc. Fake boobs and other cosmetic surgery will not magically make a hot guy kind and loving. When fishing, you will only catch the fish that want the bait you are using. If you use fake boobs as the bait, you will surely catch an asshole. A guy who won’t marry you because your boobs are too small doesn’t care about the real you… end of story. There are plenty of us average guys who only want a natural woman… who want a woman who has worked on her inner self. As a man, fake boobs send up a big red flag for me. To me it indicates that the woman is saying to the world “notice my boobs first because I’m not sure I have anything else to offer.” It’s awful that women feel this way, but if you want to be appreciated for your natural inner and outer beauty, celebrate that, shine it brightly and use that as your “bait”. But look at your “catch” with the same kindness and understanding that you would have your ideal mate look upon you… he may not be GQ hot, but he’ll love you the way you want to be loved… for YOU!
The first thing that came into my mind when I read “You are perfect, except..” was “I am good enough”. ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
I agree with the concept that most women now in days have problems with their body image, and feel that they have to alter their bodies and faces to look beautiful. It is saddening because no one is born perfect, both physically and emtionally. This story is another real life story of how breast implants can have a dramatic negative effect on the human body. It is good that Jasmine recooperated after having the implants removed. Women should learn to love their own bodies and other traits they possess. Everyone is beautiful. I enjoyed reading the article.
Amazing article, but heartbreaking at the same time. This article not only reflects the condition of many women being pressured by the ideal beauty often reinforced by the media, but it also suggests the human tendency of seeking pleasure through the others’ physical aspects. Although Jasmine has faced painful health problems and probably went through unimaginable emotional distress, I deeply appreciate her and this blog for reminding us once again of the importance in trying to build our confidence not in our physical appearances, but in our minds. I believe her confidence in herself is what truly makes her beautiful. I hope Jasmine will find her true love soon, and many thanks to her again!!
What a wonderful site you have. I know you are making a difference. I am from Virginia, and a great artist here (Susan Singer) paints life-sized oil portraits of nude women…ordinary women of all ages and all sizes to promote acceptance of beauty in all women. She is putting together an all-woman art show (Not Barbie) accompanied by 7 weeks of talks/presentations (Beyond Barbie) that will include body image, abuse, music, dancing, birthing options, body embellishment, etc.
The more people like you and Susan speak out, the healthier our young girls (and old gals) will become. Thanks so much for all you are doing@
This story makes me feel unhappy. Women just learn from bad experiences and get to have hurt. They feel confusing by such men’s behaviors or standards for women. Many women live with the hurt and don’t become to trust men. However, some women try to express their right outside through various ways. If we respect their right, there would be fewer conflicts between men and women. Women are not object. We are given equal rights. We do need to avoid judging a book by its cover.
This is article was very interesting and informative to read. It is good that someone is bringing this to people attention and maybe it will get them to think a little more.
Jasmine is a strong woman and I am so glad that she did not get implants for a second time. That “porn star body” is what men like, not what woman like. She should style herself for her and no one else. Being objectified is not under her control with a body such as hers. Great article.
It has recently become very popular for men to expect perfection out of the woman they desire to date and marry. I do not believe that a person is truly in love with another if they say “you are perfect except…” A person does not necessarily have to love everything about their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, but they should accept one anothers simple imperfections. I do not think that having small breasts is a valid determining factor of whether or not a couple is going to get married. If a man is truly in love with a woman he would not find a small imperfection and ask her to go change herself in order for them to get married. I believe that a man should love a woman for who she is, not for the person she could become after hours under the knife. A woman should also accept herself for who she is and should not try to be a perfect person. Every person has imperfections. Some can be easily changed while others cannot. In Jasmine’s case all it took to take care of her “imperfection” was thousands of dollars to a plastic surgeon and about ten days to recover. Woman must be more confident with themselves and date men who are confident enough to accept their imperfections.
It is sad to see how society finds it a norm to have females looked as a sexual object. There has to be a change of mindset of how females are perceived. Looking at these personal account we should take count of the lessons we learned from them and grow. I feel anybody that that can’t love you for who you, truly do not love you at all.
This is a sad story and I feel bad for Jasmine. She’s definitely getting married for the wrong reasons. She shouldn’t base her life long happiness on others demands when it comes to her physical appearance. They should want to be with her for who she is, not for what she looks like. Its too bad she’s learning this lesson the hard way. Hopefully she will be to able to learn from her mistakes and grow from them.
This story was so sad. I feel so bad for the woman. She deserves a lot better than the men she’s had in her lives. You make a good point. We can’t change society’s views. We have to change our own sexist ways of thinking. I look foward to reading more work from you!
Wow, I came upon your article while doing some research on a battle I’m currently embroiled in.
A local radio station in Calgary, Alberta is running a contest where the prize is $10,000 woth of breast augmentation.
I’ve been lobbying against it since it’s announcement early June.
I would love the opportunity to chat if you have any ideas for my fight.
Thank you so much for this article.
Nowadays, it’s not exaggerating to say that Look-ism is rampant in our society. We, as a human being, attach more and more values to the outward(how they look to others) , and it certainly creates a notion that inner beauty is less crucial than the outward of appearance. If we want to change the world, we should change ourselves first. Such a climate may not be changed in a day; yet, in judging a person, we should always lay emphasis on his/her character and the concept will be faded away slowly in the long run.
This story just made me want to cry. I want to grab that 18-year-old girl and tell her NOT to do it! That no man is worth carving up and disfiguring your body! That any man who wants you to do that before he’ll consider marrying you isn’t worth the time of day becuase he doesn’t really love you! But, it’s absolutely true that, as women, we’re taught from the earlies age that our primary asset, our primary value, is in how we look. Just look at the way people treat female babies. They immediately talk about how much hair she has, how pretty it is, how pretty her skin is, how pretty her eyes are, how beautiful she is. From day one. And the pressure to be pretty only grows heavier from that day on.
My heart feels very sad and sympathetic about Jasmine. I could not actually believe the story. The point about “being beautiful is about being loved” has struck me the most. I recall in history class, my professor once told me how beauty for women in Europe during the middle ages was defined by fuller bodies and white pale skin because it showed that these women were separated from labor work. Now beauty standards in some places of the world are defined by a tanner and well defined body. I believe this can be shown as an example of how society pressures people to match an “ideal beauty”. Now regarding relationships between men and women, I think my sociology class has helped me see people more at an individual perspective. It has helped me think that since men and women are all equal what truly differentiates us is education. Education breaks down stereotypes. On a personal note, rather than thinking “all men are useless” or “all women only care about is money” , I try to think about it as “if I keep working hard to become a better person, then I will be able to find someone just like that. I enjoy the quote by ,the greek philosopher, Epicetus that says “The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” Today in sociology class our professor taught us that through the ongoing process of socialization we are learning the characteristics of our group. Just as there are good influences and bad influences, I hope Jasmine can find someone who will help give her a strong feeling of confidence. The trauma that she has received is very big, but I believe that overcoming it will giver her even bigger happiness. If Jasmine has not yet found that happiness, I hope she can find it soon. Never give up!
This is a sad article that really helps portray the pressures that women go through in this society to try to conform to the image of what beauty is thought to be. Some women like Jasmine go through with life threatening procedures just to feel more beautiful which they feel in turn will bring then love. The statistics in this article were not only shocking but also very informative. I had no idea that breast implants had such a high failure rate, and could be so life threatening.
I have personally struggled with the idea of getting implants because of sagging ( IMPOSSIBLE to find a bathing suit that can support sagging 38 c breasts) and I can’t wear a bikini because of the enormous stretch marks from having poor skin elasticity). But I doubt that I would get them ,because I suffer from depression (on meds) (and no, natural diets never worked for me!) , but I read of a study that women who recieve implants have a greater risk of suicide, something that I really don’t need .
But no matter how many times I shun reading mags that make me feel & look inferior & too poor to afford $1200 Prada purses and $900 Loubutin shoes, I can’t help but feel that I ever measure up.
Maybe it is the media, maybe it is me, but being a woman is very hard emotionally & physically.
I find it ironic that human woman are the ones that get fancy , made up and colorful like a peacock , while human males can look like they’ve just crawled out of a cave and STILL get to be picky and demanding of the way women must look, while in the Animal Kingdom, it is the complete opposite, it is the MALES that have to be the showy peacocks all dressed to the hilt in their shimmery feathers,while the female pea-hen can be drab and completely confident that the males want her for just the way she is ! Isn’t it ironic …….
I say screw boyfriends/fiances/ and lovers that even allow themselves to say something so low like ” you’re perfect except____”. what you see is what you get and no man should expect their future companion to change their physical appearance for selfish reasons of their own. They don’t understand how much psychological damage in terms of insecurity this develops in a girl; it’s horrible.
This comes to show how much the media can brainwash women into thinking that the bigger the breast, the more you are loved. While this statement is true, The people who love you don’t love you for who you are but for what you look like yet woman are still manipulated into following the “norm” of society as seen by what Jasmine did and thought of doing again even after going through a life threatening situation.
This is pretty interesting. I really feel bad for what Jasmine went through and this situation shows how woman are to be pressured to “look” and “feel” beautiful
It’s so sad how this women nearly died to try to please her husband. I can see how it’s so common for women and many times even teenage girls to want breast implants more than anything. Males are the same way, but I don’t think we are to the same extreme as women. I think women have a much harder time trying to be “perfect” for males than males do for women. Even though it’s scientifically proven that women are more selective than men when it comes to being in a relationship, I believe the media plays a huge role in making females want to be “perfect” more than men do. After all, more advertisements on television show idealistic figured women than they show idealistic figured men.
This article was highly informative and yet overwhelmingly shocking. The statistics mentioned about the failure of implants over a 10 year span is unbelievable. I’m definitely going to share this article with my girlfriends, especially the ones who have thought about getting breast implants. As for Jasmine, if a man doesn’t completely love you for you, he isn’t the right guy. Period. Great article Professor Klein!
I feel the same way strongly.
Like in Asia, women are also under preasure of being judged as pretty pr not. The beauty standard is basically thin, white, and with big breasts. Girls desperately urge to try everything they can do to get that ideal of perfection. Of course many ways they try are dangerous and have a lot of side effects.
As you mentioned, women need to be beautiful in order to get attention or to be loved. I think this is sort of gender stereotype. Men are usually considered as successful because of work or ability, while women are always popular just because she is hot. :p
Nowadays most of women regard their beauty as their power to get their lover. Due to this idea, they do a plastic surgery at great risk. we have to think about this question “why do people want to get an plastic surgery despite failure, side effects?” the answer is that they think more beauty is equal to more worthy of love. Many plastic surgeries are conducted because of social pressure of beauty rather than self-satisfaction. Jamie’s experience is great example of this idea; she did augmentation mammoplasty since her first fiance wanted her to do so. After she did, with many stresses, Tim was more likely to focus on her boobs, wanted to show her to others as a trophy. After she removed silicon implants from her boobs, Brad, a guy who promised to love her in sickness, decided to leave her and soon met other girl who has fuller bust line than Jamie’s. Unseen Sociological pressure over self-awareness makes us pursing unrealistic beauty ideal.
Keep in mind
“The bigger it is, the fewer the chances of maintaining a good long- term result”
SeoYoon Choi
It’s not surprising coming across a story where a women is willing to do anything in order to satisfy her partner. The way society has encourage women to be like a robot and obey their partners desires, leads to women’s depression and feel violated in some ways not being able to express their emotions because they really don’t matter its what makes the men happy not women.Women are viewed as objects in the eyes of men, they feel that they are always right and everything they say must be done or their will be consequences. Women are afraid to express the way they really feel about the way they are treated or viewed as. Having a perfect body is not what every women wants, being the center of attention for men its not a women’s desire. Women want to be treated equally without worrying about the way they have to act and appear to society.
This article is really intense, and enlightening. The life of women is a lot more difficult then mens, since men doesn’t care much about their looks as oppose to women. The mass media is part of the problem by having certain women ( looks ) as product of advertisement, which reflect and manipulate what women should look, or have in society.
Stop buying Cosmo and start actually celebrating healthy looking women, not just talking about it. BBW pornographers are doing more for body image issues than all the well meaning blog posts in the world.
Hi professor Klein, I read the article, I like it, it’s interesting.
Her husbands were/are wrong, assholes, for doing her like that. I hope Jasmine is happy now, she deserves to be.
Jasmine’s experience is a prime example of the effect of the media on men’s “ideals” and the lengths women will go to meet them. I know many women who have been in similar situations and many did not end well and a few have found their voice after trudging an excessively arduous path.
Mercedes L.
Its very disappointing to hear how many members of society are changing their physical bodies by surgery with the objective of trying to please others. Society has to realize that fake breasts do not unveil real beauty and is only a risk to person’s health. We have to accept a person for who they are and not make them feel insecure about their looks. You have to love a person not based on how big their breasts are. An individuals real and natural appearance is much more attractive than a fake one.
Very interesting yet sad story. The fact that Jasmine is forced by her boyfriend, Tim, to get implants inorder to get married to him is both shameful on Tim and on society. Our society has defined one of beuty’s characteristics as large breasts. As a result, people have been so effected by the “necessity” of large breasts that it is one of the first place on the body that is looked at. Unfortantely, many women arent “blessed” with big breasts and as a result are inferior in society. This causes women to want to do dangerous things like Jasmine to get more attention and decreases almost all people like hers health levels.
First i would like to say what a great article this is. After reading this excerpt i completely with Jasmine’s decision in originally getting the breast implants because if someone does like her for the way she is naturally, then she shouldn’t even be with that person. With Breast Implants, come many consequences. In jasmines case, her body look, and how her trust for men. Women all over the world should use Jasmine as an example of why they should be happy with their bodies, instead of spending numerous amounts of money on surgeries that may cost someone their life.
Wow. Amazing, informative and interesting article.
Reading this article, I find it very upsetting that this is just one of many, many examples that show how much pressure is put onto girls body images, starting from a young age to perfect their bodies. Relationships, and love should never be based on the physical ( looks ect..) since we all know this changes over time. Recently, victoria’s secret came out with a new bra that brings your breast size up 2 cup sizes! My friend and I were so excited to go try on these bras, we went to the mall, went into the fitting room and tried on these bras we named “implant bras”. My initial reaction looking into the mirror was WOW, those are not mine, but they do look nice. After a while of staring at my boobs in the mirror, I decided I will not buy them, because it is not who I am, why emphasize a part of my body for someone else’s pleasure, I want them to see me not my boobs in their face.? Women and girls my age are constantly feeling pressured to stuff their bras, by these heavily padded bras ( so uncomfortable) and even get implants, that can be so unsafe, and life threatening. This article is great because it shows us how controlling not only a relationship can be, but ultimately how controlling our society is, even on such personal issues as our breasts.
I was surprised that our society gives so much pressure towards women about their body image. And also I was surprised that even the doctors would just ignore the danger of side effect and would encourage having the implants instead of removing them.