Are You an Ugly or a Pretty? Technology, Nature, and Beauty in Scott Westerfeld’s “Uglies”

Uglies

By Sayantani DasGupta

What if everyone was beautiful? No, I don’t mean inner beauty, prettiness that shines from the inside out. I mean, wide eyes, perfect noses, proportionate bodies, and symmetrical faces. The same approximate height, weight, skin color? Could making everyone look the same even the social and economic playing fields?

But human variety is important—it would be boring for everyone to be conventionally pretty, you say.

Well, what if we upped the stakes? What if making everyone beautiful could help stop bullying or eliminate eating disorders? What if it eradicated racism, prejudice, or even brought an end to all war and conflict?

Would it be worth it then?

Young adult (YA) author Scott Westerfeld spins these possibilities, and more, into his novel Uglies. In so doing, he follows in the tradition of other science fiction/speculative fiction writers who use settings on different planets or in future dystopian Earths to examine sociopolitical problems in our present day lives. African American sci-fi legend Octavia Butler used many of her short stories and novels to examine race, gender, power, and slavery; similarly, The Handmaid’s Tale novelist Margaret Atwood imagined sexism taken to the extremes of reproductive terrorism in her novel—a world where women are literally reduced to being walking wombs.

In Uglies, Westerfeld seems to be undertaking a similar project but with body image politics. His novel is set in a futuristic world where everyone on their 16th birthday undergoes an extreme makeover, the super-duper plastic surgery edition. Until they have this bone-crunching, face-rearranging operation, teens are “uglies” and have to live in (the slightly unimaginatively named) “Uglytown” watching the glamorous post-surgical “pretties” across the river in high tech “New Prettytown” leading wonderful lives of (competition-less, racism-less, prejudice-less, aggression-less) happiness and endless partying.

In a sense, Westerfeld’s dystopian world is teen reality writ large—the feeling of being on the outside looking in, waiting for your life to start, wishing one could be ‘like everyone else.’ And in that sense, the novel is about learning to be ‘happy with oneself,’ and embracing one’s autonomy rather than following the herd.

At the beginning of the novel, Westerfeld’s 16-year-old protagonist, Tally, can’t wait to turn pretty. But when her new friend Shay runs away, she faces a serious choice: to either join her friend in a rag-tag community of people who have chosen to remain “ugly forever,” or turn in these rebels to the authorities in exchange for her coveted operation.

During the course of her time with the rebels, Tally not only learns to distinguish “inner” from “outer” beauty (with the help, ‘natch, of a romantic, rebellious boy), but she grows strong, independent, and comfortable with her body and in the wilderness. It’s at this point that I realized that Westerfeld’s novel was making some commentaries about civilization and nature as well as beauty and ugliness.

Uglies begins with the question, apparently asked by a Chinese beauty contestant named Yang Yuan who had entered a contest after extensive plastic surgery: “Is it not good to make society full of beautiful people?” And Westerfeld’s answer, as you can probably guess, seems to be no. Westerfeld gives his world’s standardized beauty a secret, sinister underside. Along with homogenous looks comes homogenous behavior. “Pretties” are disconnected from their roots and ancestors as well as their own free will; they are technologically controlled sheep, if beautiful ones.

Beauty is inextricable from tyranny in the world of Uglies; if being “pretty” is a product of a homogenizing technological world-view, then being free is directly rooted in an idealized, rural, nature. These dichotomies—homogeneity/tyranny/technology versus individuality/freedom/nature—are frustratingly simple in many respects. As feminist scholar Donna Haraway suggests in her groundbreaking The Cyborg Manifesto, none of us are entirely ‘natural.’ Yet simultaneously, Uglies clearly is examining complex questions regarding civilization and humanity, including philosopher Michel Foucault’s idea of biopower—the notion that the modern state controls, disciplines, and subjugates populations no longer through gangs of marauding thugs or public pillorings, but rather through a medical gaze that defines (and creates) notions of ‘normal’ and ‘abnormal’ bodies, regulating our biological workings and thereby our social behaviors.

Uglies takes the messages of body image movements—such as the ones here on Adios, Barbie—to young people in a fast-paced novel with compelling situations and characters. His novel makes some clear critiques of current day society suggesting that our beauty product and plastic surgery obsessed culture is as oppressive as any imagined future technocracy. We seem to be convinced that we live in “Uglytown” waiting for that one magical pill/dress/makeup/social circle/product to take us over the river to that imagined place where the lights sparkle all night long.

So is, as this novel imagines, beauty itself dangerous? If we believe the words of poet Archibald MacLeish (whose poem “Beauty,” Westerfeld also quotes), perhaps so:

Beauty is that Medusa’s head

Which men go armed to seek and sever.

It is most deadly when most dead.

And dead will stare and sting forever.

Or can we find some relationship with beauty that doesn’t oppress, doesn’t homogenize, doesn’t commodify or commercialize? Or is that just a fantasy as imaginary as the world of Uglies?

No novel can provide these answers—that we have to do for ourselves—but Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies certainly helps raise many of the right questions.

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What Online Feminism Must Learn From Racial Justice

feminismracialjustice

By Pia Guerrero

Twelve years ago, I was doing social justice work through a community engagement project in a 10th grade class in San Francisco.

The class consisted of kids from the Mission District and Bayview Hunter’s Point. Mission District at the time was a vibrant Latino community and a hot zone for gang activity. Life for my students from this district was rough. Among other things, many had lost loved ones to gang violence. Walking from school alone was a scary practice, as kids were threatened and harassed to join a different gang on a daily basis.

My students from Bayview Hunter’s Point faced similar challenges. This community of regular folks making their way through life like the rest of us was known for gangs, drugs, prostitution and violence. One student, Artese, a warm girl ready to joke at any time described hearing gun shots and stepping over condoms and syringes on her daily walk to and from school.

One day, a group of girls in my class were chatting about their bodies. At that time the myth was that body image issues didn’t affect girls of color, so I was a bit surprised. I listened intently and was deeply saddened by what I heard. Many of the Latina girls were on diets and taking diet pills. Norma, who was on the thinner side of normal said, “Yeah, I still have some pounds to lose”.  Two black girls were saving their money for boob reductions, including Artese. I wondered, “How can these bright, beautiful, loving young women face so much in their lives and in their communities and yet be so concerned with their size?”

I knew at that moment that race, class, gender, size, etc. were intricately intertwined and I couldn’t fight for one while ignoring another. It was then that I began incorporating feminism into my work and was inspired to co-founded Adios Barbie with Ophira Edut. Deep in my heart I knew that we must accept our true selves and our intersecting identities in order to see and seek possibilities for ourselves and others. Soon after I found this quote and shared it with my students.

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.” – Malcolm X

As you can imagine, I’ve always rooted my feminism in a social and racial justice framework. My feminism is one where I seek justice and fight for the freedom of the most oppressed. But lately I’ve been disheartened by a new kind of feminism popping up within feminist circles across the web. This feminism is one of vindictiveness, revenge, and silencing of others with differing opinions. It is steeped in pain and fear, with actions towards other feminists resembling the bullying and peer pressure reminiscent of Mean Girls. This is a feminism of rage targeted towards individuals and not systems.

This is not my feminism.

My feminism is one of inclusion and respect built upon the possibility that loving non-violence can herald radical progress as proven by Martin Luther King Jr. during the civil rights movement. My feminism is one informed by my shehero bell hooks. Who said,

“Visionary feminism is a wise and loving politics. It is rooted in the love of male and female being, refusing to privilege one over the other. The soul of feminist politics is the commitment to ending patriarchal domination of women and men, girls and boys. Love cannot exist in any relationship that is based on domination and coercion….A genuine feminist politics always brings us from bondage to freedom, from lovelessness to loving.” ~bell hooks

hooks has also said that “feminism is for everyone.” And from that I mold my feminism and share with you a new framework based on another framework for advancing racial justice in the world. Hopefully this feminism is one that inspires and moves you towards one of freedom, connection, transformation and real progress.

A Feminist Framework for Trying Times  

(Adapted from Applied Research Center’s Strategic Framework for Advancing Racial Justice)

1. Focus on structural sexism and systemic inequality rather than simply personal prejudice (and bias).

2. Focus on impacts rather than intentions…Impacts can be documented, while intentions are debatable and difficult to prove. Rather than dwell on who is sexist, it’s far more useful to focus on the causes and effects of sexism.

3. Address gender inequality explicitly but not necessarily exclusively. Sexism must be illuminated in order to be eliminated. Often other significant factors are involved that must also be made visible, such as race, class, ethnicity and immigrant status.

4. Propose solutions that emphasize equity and inclusion. Sexism is pervasive, but it need not be permanent. Offer proactive solutions that are equitable, inclusive, and viable. It is important to distinguish the principle of equity as fairness.

5. Develop strategies to empower stakeholders and target institutional powerholders. Build inclusive and cohesive alliances that prioritize the full engagement of women and girls as leaders. Make the powerholders with decision-making authority enact changes that target institutional sexism.

6. Make gender justice a high priority in all social justice efforts. A successful progressive movement must recognize gender justice as a central component of social justice. The struggle for gender justice is not a zero sum game. Instead of allowing sexism to drive social division and disparities, we must make gender equity the driving force for uniting and benefiting all people (including men and boys).

 

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Margaret Cho on the Power of Reclaiming Beauty

margaret cho

by Contributor Marianne Schnall, originally posted on Feminist.com

Editor’s Note: We’ve pulled from the vault this 2009 interview with Margaret Cho where she candidly talks about weight, beauty, body image and show business.

Margaret Cho is currently starring in the new, critically acclaimed series Drop Dead Diva which premiered on July 12th on Lifetime. Drop Dead Diva tells the story of a shallow model-in-training who dies in a sudden accident only to find her soul resurfacing in the body of a brilliant, plus-size and recently deceased attorney. Actress Brooke Elliott stars as lawyer Jane Bingum, and Margaret plays her supportive friend and assistant, Terri.

The show is not only well written, funny and entertaining but also touches on body image issues which are close to Cho’s comedy and her heart. I checked in with the outspoken actress, on a break from filming in Peachtree City, Georgia, to talk about her new show, the politics of feeling beautiful, homophobia, the Internet, playing the banjo and her outlook on life.

Margaret Cho is on the Advisory Board of Feminist.com.

 

INTERVIEW WITH MARIANNE SCHNALL (7/13/09)

Marianne Schnall: I watched Drop Dead Diva this past weekend and loved it. For anybody who has not yet seen the show, how would you describe the concept behind the show and what appealed to you about doing the show?

Margaret Cho: Well, the show is about a shallow, thin, blonde, model girl who dies and gets sort of reinserted in the body of lawyer who is very brilliant, but pretty insecure – she doesn’t really think about her looks much, she doesn’t live the life of the body in the way that the model was used to getting by on her looks and that kind of thing. So it’s really a show about how society values certain kinds of beauty over another kind of beauty and what it’s like to live on the other side – whatever side of the beauty continuum you’re on – sort of all the different aspects of it.

So when I first read it, I was really impressed at the way that it dealt with these issues with such grace and humor. And I was the first person cast in the show. And when I did the pilot I just really thought that they did such a great job casting Brooke Elliott in the lead because she just really is perfect – she’s the only actress I could ever see playing that role. She plays both roles really – Jane and Deb, you know. And it’s funny how a show that’s so based in fantasy, sort of a fantastical premise, is closer to real life than so many of the shows out on TV [laughs]. It shows real women, real body types, real people. I think it’s a beautifully-written show, it’s very funny – that’s what appealed to me is the humor, and also the heart.

MS: I was thinking about your own personal history in television and the struggles that you’ve had in terms of body issues, when on your first show “All-American Girl” the network executives asked you to lose weight to play yourself - and you wound up dieting yourself into the hospital – there’s this sort of beautiful irony to coming back into a show that’s actually dealing with these issues head on – it feels like maybe there’s a little progress there, or some hope, to have a show like this, and that you’re on it.

MC: I love it, yeah, and I love that I get to be on it. And to me it’s a wonderful thing because the images of women are so limited in television, you know. And then if you see somebody who is different than the girls that are like super-thin – then it’s like we’re treated like a visual joke. It’s like weight, just like race, becomes part of the issue. It’s like you can’t just have a person that has a different body size than the norm what is considered hot and not have to have that be the story – it’s like a weird thing. Why can’t all different types of women be considered beautiful? Why can’t we can’t we all be considered possible love interests? It’s very – I don’t know. I think things are getting better – just with the sign of a show like this is that things are getting better. I think maybe a show like this makes things get better.

MS: That’s what I hope. Talking about beauty – your last tour and concert film which I saw on Showtime and loved is called Beautiful, and you’ve said it was your official “coming out” as beautiful. I also saw you on “The View” last week and you said, “We have the power as women to call ourselves beautiful.” Can you talk about that?

MC: Well, it’s more like – I always thought that people told you that you’re beautiful, that this was a title that was bestowed upon you – that it was other people’s responsibility to give you this title. And I’m sick of waiting, people! [laughs] Waiting around for people to tell me that I was! I’m tired of waiting. And I think that the world is pretty cruel to women, in what it considers beautiful and what it celebrates as beauty. And I think that it’s time to take into our own hands this power and to say, “You know what – I’m beautiful – I just am. And that’s my light – I’m just a beautiful woman.” And I am just going to start talking about how beautiful I am, and people will start talking about it after I start talking it. And I’ve noticed – and I’ve done this now for a couple of years – and it’s changed the way that I carry myself, it’s changed the way that people respond to me, and it’s changed the way that I feel , and I think this is an important experiment and an important thing for people to do. To start telling people that you’re beautiful, or just feel beautiful, just start acting like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. And it really improves everything! Because your sort of psyche responds to it – like this is truthful! I think self-deprecation is such a disease, and I want to cure everybody of it and so that’s my contribution.

MS: And I’ve heard you say, which I thought was interesting, that even being able to call yourself beautiful is almost like a political act – where it’s not just something you do for yourself, for feeling good and self-esteem – but it’s also that the more women feel beautiful, they are more inclined to use their voice.

MC: Right. And express their opinion and feel powerful. Like when you feel beauty – and beauty for women is definitely power. When you feel powerful, you are willing to stand up for your rights, you are willing to stand up for what you believe in, you’re more willing to stand up and be counted. I think it goes deeper than just something that’s about looks or something that’s about any kind of sexual power or whatever – it really has to do with pride. And pride and a sense of self, and a sense of worth.

Read More of this Interview: Feminist.com

Related content:

Three Cheers for Kate!

‘Sex and the City’ and Body Image

Annoying Trend: Celebs Play Dumb About Body Image

Michael Jackson: Another Victim of the Fame Game

Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”: Racist or Revolutionary?

Gabby Sidibe in Bazaar: Curvy in Couture

Body image gets animated: What The Simpsons and Family Guy say about beauty

Music’s New Bold and Bountiful

The Truth About Celebrity Weight Loss

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Dare to Resolve to Ditch Dieting

Official logo for the Ditching Dieting campaign.

Dieting is toxic to your health.

By Sharon Haywood

Aside from bikini season, late December and early January is the other time of year that we’re especially susceptible to feeling bad about our bodies. Special thanks to the media and the diet industry for ensuring we do by reminding us that we overindulged during the end-of-year festivities and we must resolve to lose (at least) that holiday weight come the new year. Weight Watchers in the UK is making certain you hear that message loud and clear. On January 1, 2012 almost all the major UK television networks will simultaneously air a three-minute Weight Watchers commercial aka music video worth over US$23 million. In it, Weight Watchers proudly parades 180 clients, mostly women, who have lost a total of 5908 pounds using its trademarked ProPoints program launched just a year ago.

What I’d like to see is how many of those slimmed-down success stories will have kept the weight off by New Year’s Day 2016. According to the studies, within four to five years most of them will have regained the weight, and at least 60 to 120 of them will weigh more than their pre-diet weight. Yes, I said diet. Regardless of what Weight Watchers (or SlimFast or Jenny Craig or any other system or product designed to lose weight) calls it, a diet is a diet. And diets don’t work. Sure, if you eat only protein and avoid carbs or measure your portions or adhere to a system of points that limits your caloric intake, yes, you will lose weight… initially. But research[1] clearly shows that any weight lost is sure to creep back within five years.

Researchers at California’s UCLA sought out specific evidence on the long-term results of dieting by analyzing every published diet study—31 in total[2]—that monitored participants’ weight from two to five years after their initial weight loss. The study’s lead author, Traci Mann, summarized their results:

“You can initially lose 5 to 10 percent of your weight on any number of diets, but then the weight comes back. We found that the majority of people regained all the weight, plus more. Sustained weight loss was found only in a small minority of participants, while complete weight regain was found in the majority. Diets do not lead to sustained weight loss or health benefits for the majority of people.”

You may have already heard this information but you may have very well just resigned yourself to playing the losing and gaining game. It’s understandable considering how barraged we are with the message that fat will kill you. But the truth is fat can actually protect you against certain diseases including osteoporosis, chronic bronchitis, and some cancers.[3] Furthermore, the evidence strongly supports that continued yo-yo dieting or losing and gaining weight repetitively does real damage to your body, not to mention the mental and emotional self-abuse that dieting demands. The research is clear: weight cycling plays a large role in various ailments, ironically often attributed to obesity: high-blood pressure, congestive heart failure, diabetes, and even premature death.[4] Unfortunately, the studies that attract the most press are those that support weight loss as a means to health; such studies are substantially funded by the pharmaceutical[5] and weight loss industries. And these industries are certainly not lacking in profits; in only two more years, the worldwide weight-loss market is predicted to be worth a staggering US$586.3 billion.

It’s time to say “No” to big business making money off our bodies. Enough of believing the propaganda that fat is the enemy. Enough of trusting that the label ‘overweight’ or even ‘obese’ obtained from an unsound BMI chart translates to ill health. As the year comes to a close and you compile your list of New Year’s resolutions, dare to do something different. Dare to listen to your body. Dare to ditch dieting. And know that you don’t have to do it alone. Across the pond, the Endangered Bodies campaign, launched by the Endangered Species International March 2011 Summit, is in full swing. The Endangered Bodies (EB) team in the UK[6], led by Susie Orbach, launched its Ditching Dieting campaign last month at UK Feminista’s national conference where they invited attendees to “speak out against the misery caused by the diet industry.” And you can, too.

Anyone, anywhere can hold a SpeakOut in the name of Ditching Dieting. You can organize a few friends around your kitchen table or you might fill an auditorium. The point is to create a safe space where the suffering caused by dieting can be expressed and validated. A SpeakOut and the subsequent support group that can emerge from it offer similar peer support that diet clubs such as Weight Watchers provide; however, instead of focusing on working against your body’s natural impulses, a SpeakOut club facilitates strong bonds as you explore collaboratively with other members how to truly take care of yourself. In the words of the UK EB team:

“In general, the aim is to become really aware of where dieting puts you, and to start making important choices about how much you want to play along with a game that is making you miserable… It is about taking on the challenge to accept and understand how natural it is to eat happily, in response to your hunger, and without guilt.”

Learning how to eat intuitively is a process that takes time, especially if you’ve historically relied on external factors, such as a meal plan or a point system to guide you on when and how to eat. Diets teach us to ignore our internal cues, which only contributes to eating disorders and obesity. As Susie Orbach has asked many times,

“If dieting worked, why would we need to do it more than once?”

Let’s kick off the New Year off by Ditching Dieting and move toward eating “happily ever after.”

* * *

Whether you’re in the UK, the US, Canada, or Europe, consider hosting your own SpeakOut. For more information visit www.ditchingdieting.org and write to info@any-body.org to obtain a SpeakOut package.

Currently in the UK, a Body Image Inquiry is underway looking into the causes and consequences of body image anxiety. If you’re based in London, take the day off work on January 16, 2012 and join the UK EB team in speaking out against the diet industry at Parliament. Full event details here.


[1] Gina Kolata, Rethinking Thin, New York: Picador, 2007, 188.

[2] Contrast that with the fact that the obesity “crisis” was primarily borne out of four studies. See Paul Campos’ The Obesity Myth, New York: Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2004, pages 13-20 for more details.

[3] Linda Bacon, Health at Every Size, Dallas: BenBella Books, Inc., 2008, 138-139.

[4] Paul Campos, The Obesity Myth, New York: Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2004, 32-33.

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Feel Fat? Try Burlesque to Feel Beautiful

Photo by Powerful Goddess Photography

Photo by Powerful Goddess Photography

By Kitty Cavalier

Recently a friend told me she wants to love her body but she always feels fat. I dedicate this article to her.

No woman is immune from “feeling fat.” But notice we don’t say, “I have fat on my body all the time.” What we are describing is the FEELING of being fat. For every woman, the feeling of being fat represents something different. Try completing this sentence: “I feel fat, and that means I am _______.” Some examples would be: unattractive, too much, not enough, gross, unlovable, a mess… just to name a few.

Now, continue the sentence with: “if I am _____, that means__________, and that makes me feel__________.”

For example:

“If I am unattractive, that means I will never live my dream of having a partner who truly loves me, and that makes me sad.”

“If I am not enough, that means I will never get anything I want in this life no matter how hard I try, and that makes me mad!”

” If I am too much, that means I am different than everyone else, that no one will ever understand me, and that makes me feel sad and alone.”

What is fat? Fat is a tissue. An assemblage of molecules and acids. But for a woman who is feeling sad, lonely or angry in a world that takes drastic measures to prevent her from feeling the fullness of her truth, it is easy to trick ourselves into believing that if we did not feel fat, we wouldn’t have to encounter these intense feelings so often. That’s what it looks like on TV anyway. So we put all our attention on how we can reshape, reform and reinvent our sweet, precious bodies. But as many of us have discovered, you can still be lonely in a differently shaped body.

So, what is the antidote? Well, it sure as hell doesn’t begin an X or end with a drine. Have you ever met a girl who looks really pretty, but because she so clearly doesn’t love herself, she is really un-beautiful? Her beauty is there, but it leaves you with a feeling of emptiness? And then, have you also met a girl who is incredibly “imperfect,” yet completely enchanting because of how much she enjoys being exactly who she is? Her self-love is infectious, and you cannot help but fall under her spell. With this kind of woman, it’s not in what she has, it’s in what she believes. She refuses to buy into the idea that her scrumptious self could be anything less than lovable.

Burlesque is the living practice of being this kind of woman. There are some who think that burlesque is a step back for feminism, and that stripping is an objectification of women, period. To me, it is the exact opposite. When I went to my first burlesque show five years ago, what changed my life forever was seeing women who looked exactly like me, with real bodies, making the rules about what it means to be beautiful.

They were not trying to fit into someone else’s definition of sexiness, or waiting for something to change in order to feel the fullest expression of their beauty and power. And if you couldn’t groove to their beat, well, you could just move on over. The same bodies I would see being squeezed, cursed and quickly covered up in the gym locker room were being flaunted and adored. I saw teeny-weeny AA cup breasts, G size breasts that came down to the belly button, and each woman walked around in mere pasties and a g-string with an ease and confidence that was impenetrable. These were not mere objects of male desire. These were objects of pure feminine power. The kind that is gorgeously unapologetic, perfectly imperfect, simultaneously embodying the beauty that dwells in the darkness and the light.

Today, act as if you are a woman who has the world in the palm of her hand. A woman whose beauty is eternal, and leaves a legacy in her wake. Act as if you are a woman who turns every head as she walks into a room. A woman that is flown across the world because her beauty is legend, and someone is prepared to pay millions of dollars for the inspiration that comes from watching her take one sip of coffee. When you live your life from this spot, you evaporate the chains that tie us down to the belief that we will only experience our fullest power when we don’t feel fat. That is bullshit. You are this woman. Feel your power now.

Kitty Cavalier is known for bringing mischief to the masses at The School of Charm and Cheek in NYC, of which she is the founder. After a lifetime of hating her body, she took a wild risk by performing a burlesque striptease in front of 100 people, and has never been the same. Since then she has been on a mission to help women adore and appreciate their feminine form through burlesque dancing and other sensual arts. For more information, visit her website, join her on Facebook, or follow her on Twitter.

Cross-posted with permission.

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FAT SEX, The Book

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By Jennifer Jonassen

If you’re like me, you grew up with a very limited view of what sexiness is, of what sexiness looks like. I always found it perplexing that what was considered sexy was so narrowly defined. As a young girl, the women that surrounded me did not look like the so-called ideal and yet they were all partnered up. Obviously, they were having sex too! Yet everything I learned from television and fashion magazines told me this could not be so. More than 30 years later I am still searching for positive images of sexy fat women in the mainstream, which has happily led me to FAT SEX.

Author Rebecca Jane Weinstein’s book FAT SEX affirms what I have known intuitively all along — women of all sizes and shapes are sexy, passionate, desirable creatures with romantic and sexual lives. A seasoned lawyer and social worker, Weinstein recently took some time to talk with me about her inspirations for her revolutionary book, FAT SEX.

Jennifer Jonassen (JJ): Tell us about FAT SEX. Where did the inspiration come from?

Rebecca Jane Weinstein (RJW): FAT SEX is a book in which large-size women and men tell their true stories of social and self-acceptance in romantic and sexual relationships. Though they sometime face bigotry and experience shame, they are often heroic and live remarkably fulfilling lives. The stories are compelling and told with sensitivity and humor, connecting people on profoundly important aspects of their lives.

If there are two subjects that are universally fascinating and rife with controversy, they are sex and fat. Though our culture is obsessed with both, the notion of the two comingling is sometimes seen as offensive, obscene, or grotesque. There is an undertone in our society that fat people are not sexual beings, or shouldn’t be. This is, of course, far from the truth: fat people have normal and peculiar sex lives, just like everyone else. FAT SEX is a compilation of true stories, cultural references, and narrative commentary.

The inspiration for FAT SEX has come from several places. I have been fat, off and on, since I was four and my parents got a divorce. A pediatrician put me on my first diet in first grade and my teacher told the entire class I was not allowed to eat birthday cake. In Girl Scout Camp my bunk-mates would chant “here comes the tub” when I would walk by. I did many things to not be fat. Many of them dangerous, and none of them stuck. Though there were periods of not-so-fat, like after two summers of fat camp and later a lot of uppers — in the end I got progressively fatter. In law school one supposedly kind and caring professor told me I would never get a job because of my body. Every aspect of my life, since before I can remember, was punctuated with what was apparently the most important aspect of my being: My fat body. Especially love.

If my own life experience wasn’t enough, when I started working on http://www.peopleofsize.com/ I saw the pain and that I was not alone. And it was not actually about body size, it was about shame. Fat people can’t hide their bodies in the closet, but their shame is tucked neatly away. Fat people are mere mortals, and they need a voice. I am just one person trying to give that voice to those whose shame keeps them from speaking. It is me, my computer, and the wonderful people who tell me their stories, which I try to tell with compassion, empathy, honesty, and enough humor so we all don’t jump off a bridge.

JJ: How many stories are featured in the book?

RJW: There are about twenty stories in the book, but they interweave and represent so many more stories and people. They represent all fat people in some way or another. And not just fat people, other people who have body issues and food issues, or just live in this society and are conflicted about all the mixed messages that drive us insane.

Each chapter will delve into a different topic related to romance, relationships, and sexual practices. Subjects will include heterosexuals, gay men and lesbian women, those who have gained and lost a great deal of weight, the sexual “underground” such as cybersex and pornography, also alternative perspectives such as “fat admirers” and “chubby chasers.” Experiences, thoughts, and feeling about being a fat person in a sexual culture, sexual situations, and intimate relationships will be explored, explained, and validated. Through shared understanding people find the best in themselves and others.

JJ: Why is this book so important?

RJW: Research shows that weight discrimination is currently more prevalent than race and gender discrimination (Yale). According to the Council on Size and Weight Discrimination people who are larger than average encounter discriminatory attitudes and are denied equal opportunity in many areas of their lives, including prospective employers refusing to hire large size people; physicians and other health-care professionals advising fat patients to lose weight no matter what their medical condition; large people being systematically denied health insurance and life insurance; and landlords, housing agencies, and real estate agents denying larger people apartments.

But for my purposes, this book is about the human element: The day-to-day crap that large people go through; the insecurities they feel simply because of the size of their bodies; the personal rejection and loneliness; and the misguided notion that no one will love a fat person. The fact is, fat people can be and are loved. They can and do have great romances and sex. We are so brainwashed to believe we are undesirable that it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. These stories tell not just fat people, but the world at large, that fat people humans, and extraordinary humans at that. That is very, very important.

Author of FAT SEX and founder of PeopleofSize.com, Rebecca Jane Weinstein

JJ: Tell us a little bit about your site PeopleOfSize.com.

RJW:  PeopleOfSize.com is an online community that provides information, support, and interaction for “people of size” of all ages. We are not a diet site, though health and fitness are part of what we address. We focus on all aspects of life, from medical [issues] to fashion, relationships to daily living, entertainment to emotional well-being.

We provide comprehensive information and access from many perspectives and offer a forum for discussion and social interaction. All subjects include a social networking function. People of size can communicate about their favorite plus/large size fashions, size-friendly vacation spots, health questions and concerns, job, family, and relationships, political and social issues, and everything in between.

The PeopleOfSize.com e-community is a welcoming place for all people of size, recognizing everyone should have the opportunity to live life to the fullest, learn and grow, be healthy and happy. We are a community with no judgment, just opportunity. Of course, PeopleOfSize.com is totally free. We also have a very active community on Facebook.

JJ: What would you tell a young person who is struggling with body image?

RJW: I would tell a young person not to do what I did. Don’t confuse your body size with your self-worth. Don’t let people mislead you into thinking you will be alone and unloved because of your size or shape. That’s easier said than done, but it’s the best advice I’ve got.

Then do seek out size acceptance groups. Look into Health At Every Size. Understand there is a big difference between health and weight, no matter what else you hear. Stand up for yourself. Be a proud person, not because of your weight or despite it, because of your inner-strength. There are a million slogans I could yammer, pep talks I could give, platitudes and clichés I could proclaim. The truth is young people are saturated with negative body image messages constantly. Know you are not alone. You are not alone!  There are young people and old people and people in between that struggle too, and we need to support each other because things do change. We change. Our attitudes about ourselves and the world change all the time. I have changed a lot and I am still changing, and I am pretty old, though these days I feel like I am living some of the youth I missed.

JJ: What has the funding process been like and how have editors responded to the material?

RJW: I attempted to sell this book the traditional way. First I sought out an agent, which I understand can be a grueling process, but I found a great agent in about 24 hours. I thought I had it made. We were both anticipating a bidding war from publishers. My agent has been in the business a long time so that wasn’t just my fantasy. But it didn’t work out that way. I have been turned down by every major publisher in the country. We believe, from what we have been told that the material is too cutting edge, and right now mainstream publishing is all about celebrities and dieting. I am not a celebrity and this book is certainly not about dieting. The publishers and their editors are afraid there is no market — that not enough people will by the book. For them, of course, it’s about the bottom line.

This is a bit ironic, because the public interest in this book (and not just from fat people) seems to be great. My agent and I decided the best strategy would be to self-publish on Amazon and hope to get picked up from there. It’s a reasonable strategy but there is no advance or publishing and distribution support, so I am on my own. I started a Kickstarter.com campaign for FAT SEX. I am trying to raise $5,000 by January 14th. The money is trickling in slowly as this is a difficult economy and time of year. However, the number of “likes” for my projects is relatively astronomical. I have more Facebook “likes” on my Kickstarter.com page than most of the tech projects that have raised hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars. I still have 28 days to raise money, so we will see. I don’t think there is any question there is a market for the book. When more people “like” your page than the one for the iPad mini keyboard, it says something. Still, raising that money would really help.

Learn more about FAT SEX at its official website, its Kickstarter campaign, or read a chapter from Rebecca’s book in the online literary magazine Writing Raw.

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Remembering Ruby

ruby body shop

By Sharon Haywood

Fifty-something-old Barbie[1] might be middle-aged but she sure doesn’t show it. When she was in her 30s, her manufacturer Mattel sent her for plastic surgery, not to maintain her youthful appearance, but rather in response to market demands to morph her into a more realistic-looking doll. In 1992, Barbie’s waistline slightly expanded. Then in 1998, Mattel altered one version of the doll—Really Rad Barbie—giving her a decreased cup size and slimmer hips. Currently, her estimated measurements—38-18-34—contrast greatly with the American woman’s average of 41-34-43[2]. Barbie’s curves fall several inches short of what typical women possess today.

Considering that the average woman in the U.S. is a size 12/14, a doll that wears a double-digit dress size would be a much more accurate reflection of American women. The late Anita Roddick (1942-2007), the founder of The Body Shop, thought the same. In 1997, the socially-conscious international cosmetics franchise and Host Universal created Ruby: a chubby-cheeked, chestnut-haired, computer-generated figurine. Ruby was the brainchild of The Body Shop’s self-esteem campaign, “Love Your Body.” Her size 16 image was accompanied by the caption, “There are 3 billion women who don’t look like supermodels and only 8 who do.” She sent the message that you should love what you’ve got, not loathe it.

If you’re familiar with Ruby, you know that she’s not easy to locate. So, where’s this confident and curvaceous character been hiding? You can find her here, alongside other rejected and banned ads.[3] We can thank Mattel for Ruby’s label of “Banned.” The U.S. toy manufacturer thwarted the innovative campaign in its early days by serving The Body Shop with a cease-and-desist order; all posters had to be removed from American shops. Why? In Roddick’s own words:

“Ruby was making Barbie look bad, presumably by mocking the plastic twig-like bestseller … Mattel thought that Ruby was insulting to Barbie.”

Outside of Roddick’s explanation on her website, no other information regarding Mattel’s specific legal grounds can be found online. We can surmise that Ruby’s rolls and less-than-perky breasts were the offending culprits.

This year Ruby would have turned 14. But imagine if she had grown from being a self-esteem campaigner into a three-dimensional doll in direct competition with Barbie. Do you think that when she would have reached her 30s, she would have gone under the knife, too? Would the folks at The Body Shop have decided she needed a tummy tuck, a breast lift, and some lipo to give her a competitive edge? The Body Shop’s global communications head told the New York Times that Ruby represented “a reality check” in contrast to the “stereotypical notions of unattainable ideals.” Odds would tell us that the Rubenesque beauty wouldn’t have any part of her body nipped or tucked; in fact, like many women approaching middle-age, she might even have gained a couple of pounds. Regrettably, we’ll never know for sure.

Although Ruby’s existence was short-lived, her presence generated controversy. She caused Mattel to sit up and take notice. Along similar lines, consider that Barbie underwent cosmetic surgery to appease consumers’ demands. Although Mattel was conservative in its alterations of Barbie’s figure, the company did respond to the public. Furthermore, with sales of the blonde figurine consistently dropping,[4] the toy manufacturer has even more incentive to cater to the customer. If more and more women let corporate giants like Mattel know what they really want, who’s to say that Barbie’s waistline (and the rest of her) can’t fill out as she eases into her fifties? Something to ponder in memory of both Ruby and the visionary Roddick.

Originally published at Any-Body on June 21, 2009. Cross-posted with permission.


[1] When Any-Body originally published this post in 2009, Barbie had just turned 50 years old.

[2] I cited body measurements for White women ages 36 to 45 to reflect Ruby’s race. For the same age group, the average measurements for Black women are 43-37-46; 42.5-36-44 for Hispanic women; and 41-35-43 for Asian women.

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The (Bluest) Eyes Have It

Photo © David Venezia

By Tami Winfrey Harris

“Adults, older girls, shops, magazines, newspapers, window sign – all the world had agreed that a blue-eyed, yellow-haired, pink-skinned doll was what every girl child treasured. ‘Here,’ they said, ‘this is beautiful, and if you are on this day “worthy” you may have it.’” - Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye

Is achieving idealized beauty worth a laser to the eye? For some, the answer is yes, based on comments to articles about an LA doctor’s new procedure that turns brown eyes blue. The Orlando Sentinel reported:

If you’ve always wanted blue eyes, but have brown instead, there might be something you can do to change that. A doctor in Laguna Beach called Stroma Medical says it can use laser technology to change brown eyes to blue — permanently — without damaging vision.

When it comes to body image, we live in “don’t like it, then change it” times. Suffering from thin hair, laugh lines or a flat ass? That’s nothing hair extensions, Botox and booty surgery cannot “fix.” But in the age of the dramatic makeover, we shouldn’t stop analyzing why certain looks have more social currency than others.

I’ve always found genuflecting to light-colored eyes particularly icky. It stinks of concession to Aryan supremacy. If brown eyes are boring, ugly and inferior and blue eyes dazzling and beautiful, does that mean that all groups of people for whom blue or green or gray eyes are extremely rare are physically boring, ugly and inferior? And is it a coincidence that many people of color fall into the “less desirable” category of brown-eyed and brown-haired?

While I’m ranting, I should add how much I hate it when members of the dominant culture assume that I desire the same physical features they prize–features more common to their race than my own. Count me fed up with magazine articles, blog comments and casual conversations that include some version of Ugh! My eyes are plain old brown–so boring! Every girl wants to be a blonde just once, amirite? 

No. You are not right about what every girl wants, particularly this Black girl.

Blue eyes can be beautiful, but they are neither automatically nor supremely beautiful. And brown eyes are beautiful, too. Just look at the soulful eyes on the woman to the right. It is their deep brownness that makes them so compelling.

Look, I’m afraid to get Lasik on my poor, nearsighted peepers. The chance of me subjecting my eyes to a laser for some cosmetic frippery is not likely. But I’ve no beef with someone who desires cosmetic surgery for themselves. I do question the tacit idea that blue eyes are better. (Can you imagine someone hawking a surgery to turn blue eyes brown? Yeah. Me neither.) It’s a side effect of a beauty hierarchy that marginalizes the majority of the world, including women like me.

Originally published at What Tami Said on November 2, 2011. Cross-posted with permission.

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“You Look So Much Different on Facebook…”

Facebook and Photoshopping

By Sheena Vasani

I admit it: I’ve Photoshopped myself. Some of my Facebook photos have had their contrast and lighting settings tweaked and four them have been properly Photoshopped, either professionally or by myself. Sometimes, I took photos of myself in mirrors at such bizarre angles that I’m still not sure how I managed to pull off without breaking my arm. At 15, I thought it was “artistic,” and more importantly it made my self-proclaimed “flaws” less noticeable. In desperate moments after seeing a recently uploaded picture of another girl’s equally oddly-angled, retouched photo, my jealousy would lead me to dress up just to take a few–okay, fine, maybe about 30–photos of myself to post on MySpace to try and feel less inferior.

Growing up I was no self-absorbed, vapid young girl; I hated reality TV with a passion, was heavily involved in community service and social justice groups in school, and even led and created a few. I barely ever touched magazines because I preferred books; my heroine was not Paris Hilton but passionate women who made a difference in the world through either their hearts or intellect. My favorite place was the local bookstore, not the nearby mall. Yet with the sudden popularity of MySpace back in 2005, I almost felt like I became a different person. I still did well in school, but time I once spent buried in a book in my free time was now spent staring transfixed at my friends’ photos on MySpace. I envied how photogenic they were, so completely oblivious to the fact these pictures were digitally altered.

Now, the purpose of revealing all of this isn’t to simply embarrass myself in public, but because I believe there should be greater transparency concerning Photoshopped images not just in the media, but also in our personal lives. Recently, I’ve been feeling like a hypocrite. As friends know, I can go off about the media’s negative influence on our self-image and spout out the most obscure statistics about it. Yet I feel like I’ve failed to take personal responsibility by posting digitally altered photos (or even pictures that don’t truly capture how I really look) on my social networking sites. Nowadays, I do it far less than I did when I was 15, but I still find myself sometimes uneasy about the pictures I post.

I’m not going to put myself down too much, though, and I don’t want our readers to be hard on themselves either. Self-compassion is far more empowering and effective than harsh self-criticism. I know the real reason I Photoshopped my photos because I, like most teens and young women, struggle with self-image issues from time to time. We live in a world that glorifies appearances so much so that it’s become okay to surgically and digitally change how you look. For goodness’ sake, it’s even “okay” nowadays to Photoshop photos of toddlers. There’s an underlying societal belief that it’s better to appear “beautiful” than to, quite frankly, be yourself.

Yet wanting to look good in itself is not a problem, and in fact, it’s wonderful. The problem comes when we pretend to look a certain way without making it clear the image is contrived. As a result, we perpetuate the problem. Like the fashion industry and the media, we encourage people to try to achieve an unattainable look. Our attempt to achieve a certain image can lead us to post pictures that are truly just products of our great retouching skills, which can influence others to do so as well. It’s a vicious cycle. It is one I’m trying to stop.

People need to realize that many pictures you see on sites like Facebook aren’t totally reflective of reality. Judging by the many websites and YouTube videos that teach even the least computer-savvy people how to alter their pictures, I’m guessing even more people are doing so at increasingly younger ages nowadays. I hope by sharing my own experiences, I might inspire people to not compare themselves to these false images, as I frequently have done and sometimes still do. Men see these photos unaware they have been manipulated and think “this is what a real woman looks like.” Consequently, a real woman never measures up. We need to be conscious of the effect our own photos have; it’s not just the magazines anymore. With the popularity of social media and how easily accessible it is to anybody, we are also responsible.

Earlier I mentioned how at 15 years old, I’d spend hours browsing through random girls’ MySpace or Facebook photos, unaware of the “wonders” of airbrushing and Photoshop. As a result, I sought to unsuccessfully achieve a look that could never be imitated, and kept it to myself. I am open about this now because I believe I am not alone, and I want this to be the first step toward increased transparency. I read an article that the American Psychiatric Association now requires physicians to ask girls if they use Facebook when evaluating them for depression and body image issues. That speaks volumes about the power of social media on our mental health; it’s more than just a fun diversion to pass the time. It’s now become a means of helping young people establish or ferment an identity that can often have harmful effects if used inappropriately.

I’m going to guess that you or someone you know has probably had my experience. And, to be even more frank, if you digitally manipulate your photos to look like the false “beauties” you once felt inferior to without making it clear you have, you’re unintentionally helping contribute other girls’ and women’s insecurities. I’m not saying *we’re* the problem. It’s far more complicated than that. But let’s try not to contribute to the problem by being a little more transparent. At the very least, we could write captions under our photos if they have been altered. We may not have a lot of control over how the fashion industry has chosen to represent females, but we do have control over how we choose to portray ourselves. Let’s try to be the change we wish to see in this world.

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Eating Disorders and LGBT: What’s the Connection?

Actress Portia de Rossi, shown here with wife, Ellen DeGeneres, struggled with near-fatal anorexia, which she attributed in large part to keeping her true sexuality a secret for so long. Photo credit YourCelebrityStuff.com

Actress Portia de Rossi, shown here with wife Ellen DeGeneres, struggled with near-fatal anorexia, which she attributed in large part to keeping her true sexuality a secret. Photo credit YourCelebrityStuff.com

By Valerie Kusler

October is LGBT history month, and as the resident eating disorders geek here at Adios Barbie (perhaps I’ll upgrade myself to “specialist” after I finish my MSW), it got me thinking about how little I know about the connection between eating disorders and LGBT population. The default assumptions I’ve heard are that eating disorders (EDs) are more common in gay males than straight males due to increased pressure to be thin and attractive in the gay community, while lesbians have fewer eating disorders than straight women, since they apparently eschew our society’s narrow beauty standards. How much truth, if any, is behind these stereotypical assumptions? Is there a connection or correlation between sexual orientation/gender identity and eating disorders? 

I recently attended the NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) Conference in Los Angeles and I was delighted to discover a session about exploring the interconnections between sexual orientation and eating disorders, given by Courtney Long (MSW, LC, CHt) of Phoenix, Arizona. Courtney shared that her own personal experience with EDs began in her early teens. She had a lot of the risk factors already such as a controlling mother with rigid rules, black-and-white thinking, perfectionism, and suppression of emotions in the family. Around the same time, she had a brief sexual encounter with a female that left her confused and doubting herself for years, always feeling like there was something wrong with her that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She began exercising compulsively, cutting, restricting her food, and her ED behaviors got more and more serious.

Fast forward to adulthood, and one day, Courtney met a woman and fell madly in love. At that point, coming out didn’t feel like a choice. She knew couldn’t hide her love. Thankfully, her family was very accepting. By accepting her own sexuality and having the support of her family and friends, Courtney then felt she was able to examine her ED behaviors and seek treatment. “I had somehow convinced myself that salad tasted good without dressing,” she joked. “I love ranch dressing, and today I eat it whenever I want.” Now, Courtney is a Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, author, speaker, and more, all to spread the gospel of self-care, authenticity, fluidity, and acceptance.

Courtney’s success story is uplifting, but it’s not always the norm. In an environment that’s not always supportive and accepting, people in sexual minority groups often face additional pressures and challenges that lead to increased self-doubt, shame, and depression. LGBT adolescents are especially at-risk, as they often struggle with accepting their identity, coming out, and fitting in with peers who can be downright cruel. In Courtney’s situation, coming out helped her face and get treatment for her ED, but in other cases, coming out could be so stressful (especially when friends and/or family are not supportive) that it could actually intensify ED symptoms. Does authenticity lead to recovery or is it so painful that it can make existing conditions even worse? Courtney says there’s not much research out there on the topic; based on her experience, some LGBT folks see these factors as related, while others don’t.

So, what about those prevalent assumptions that gay men suffer from EDs much more than straight guys and lesbian women are more “immune” to EDs than heterosexual women? Researchers would say that both of those assumptions stem from a sociocultural perspective. For gay men, sociocultural suggestions state that the values and norms in the gay community place a heightened focus on physical appearance, and that by aiming to attract other men, they are subject to similar pressures and demands as heterosexual women (bodies as sexual objects, and thus, increased body dissatisfaction.) Although the sociocultural perspective is only part of the picture, it turns out that homosexual and bisexual men do in fact have significantly increased prevalence of EDs and ED behaviors including increased dieting, greater fear of gaining weight, lower body satisfaction, and dysfunctional beliefs about the importance of body shape (Kaminski, Chapman, Haynes & Own, 2005.) One recent study found that 6% of gay or bisexual males met the criteria for an eating disorder, compared to 1% of heterosexual males (Feldman & Meyer, 2007).

The sociocultural explanation for EDs does not hold up as well when it comes to lesbian and bisexual women. The suggestion is that these women do not share the same standards of feminine beauty espoused by western culture that straight women do, and thus, will be less likely to subscribe to the thin ideal and supporting behaviors. In fact, some studies have found lower levels of body dissatisfaction than heterosexual women; however, other studies have shown conflicting results, either finding no difference between heterosexual and lesbian/bisexual women among ED symptoms, or even higher levels of EDs (specifically, binge eating disorder) in lesbians compared with straight women. So what gives? This idea that lesbians are immune to EDs just because they supposedly eschew the Barbie beauty standard doesn’t seem to fit, especially when you consider that social is only one-third of “biopsychosocial,” the buzz-phrase in the mental health field for explaining the complex causes behind eating disorders. Sure enough, Feldman and Meyer’s study (one of the most recent and methodologically sound studies on this subject) found that the prevalence of EDs among lesbians and bisexual women is comparable to heterosexual women.  Although the sociocultural factors associated with being a sexual minority can increase risk factors for EDs (as with gay and bisexual men), the positive aspects may not be enough to actually decrease risk factors substantially (as we see here with bisexual/lesbian women.)

As for transgender individuals, they often feel tremendous body dissatisfaction. As Courtney put it, “There is so much body dissatisfaction in our society today anyway. Just imagine if you also felt like you were born into completely the wrong body.” Not surprisingly, there is a dearth of research on EDs among transgender individuals, a population lacking in research overall. One attendee in Courtney’s session mentioned that brand new research has found that transgender people with EDs who go through transition recover from their ED based solely on the transition. So, when the body dissatisfaction subsides, the ED tends to go away. An intriguing idea, but I have yet to see the published study so I’m on the lookout for it. To the contrary, another session attendee, who frequently worked with homeless transgender teens and young adults at a center in New York City, stated that she often saw male-to-female transgender people develop EDs as they were transitioning because they felt the need to be delicate, feminine, skinny, and small. Also, being young and uneducated, many of them felt like the only work they could get was sex work, so “passing” was a big deal. They perceived that “passing” as female was the only way to be attractive as a sex worker, the only way to get the money to pay for gender reassignment surgery, so if “passing” meant extreme weight loss, it was a risk they felt they had to take.

At the end of the day, research on eating disorders among people who identify as LGBT is still insufficient and conflicting. However, based on the research we do have, it’s clear that some segments of the LGBT population face increased risk factors for eating disorders and body dissatisfaction. Thus, it is important for mental health practitioners, medical professionals, parents, and educators not to buy in to the assumptions that lesbian and bisexual women are less vulnerable to eating disorders than straight women, or that just because EDs are more common in gay men that they never affect straight men. Although some people unfortunately still discriminate on the basis of sexuality or gender identity, eating disorders do not.

Read the complete study from Feldman & Meyer

For more information about Courtney Long and to learn about her upcoming memoir, Authentic and Free: A Journey from Shame to Self-Acceptance, visit her website.

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