Margaret Cho on the Power of Reclaiming Beauty

margaret cho

by Contributor Marianne Schnall, originally posted on Feminist.com

Editor’s Note: We’ve pulled from the vault this 2009 interview with Margaret Cho where she candidly talks about weight, beauty, body image and show business.

Margaret Cho is currently starring in the new, critically acclaimed series Drop Dead Diva which premiered on July 12th on Lifetime. Drop Dead Diva tells the story of a shallow model-in-training who dies in a sudden accident only to find her soul resurfacing in the body of a brilliant, plus-size and recently deceased attorney. Actress Brooke Elliott stars as lawyer Jane Bingum, and Margaret plays her supportive friend and assistant, Terri.

The show is not only well written, funny and entertaining but also touches on body image issues which are close to Cho’s comedy and her heart. I checked in with the outspoken actress, on a break from filming in Peachtree City, Georgia, to talk about her new show, the politics of feeling beautiful, homophobia, the Internet, playing the banjo and her outlook on life.

Margaret Cho is on the Advisory Board of Feminist.com.

 

INTERVIEW WITH MARIANNE SCHNALL (7/13/09)

Marianne Schnall: I watched Drop Dead Diva this past weekend and loved it. For anybody who has not yet seen the show, how would you describe the concept behind the show and what appealed to you about doing the show?

Margaret Cho: Well, the show is about a shallow, thin, blonde, model girl who dies and gets sort of reinserted in the body of lawyer who is very brilliant, but pretty insecure – she doesn’t really think about her looks much, she doesn’t live the life of the body in the way that the model was used to getting by on her looks and that kind of thing. So it’s really a show about how society values certain kinds of beauty over another kind of beauty and what it’s like to live on the other side – whatever side of the beauty continuum you’re on – sort of all the different aspects of it.

So when I first read it, I was really impressed at the way that it dealt with these issues with such grace and humor. And I was the first person cast in the show. And when I did the pilot I just really thought that they did such a great job casting Brooke Elliott in the lead because she just really is perfect – she’s the only actress I could ever see playing that role. She plays both roles really – Jane and Deb, you know. And it’s funny how a show that’s so based in fantasy, sort of a fantastical premise, is closer to real life than so many of the shows out on TV [laughs]. It shows real women, real body types, real people. I think it’s a beautifully-written show, it’s very funny – that’s what appealed to me is the humor, and also the heart.

MS: I was thinking about your own personal history in television and the struggles that you’ve had in terms of body issues, when on your first show “All-American Girl” the network executives asked you to lose weight to play yourself - and you wound up dieting yourself into the hospital – there’s this sort of beautiful irony to coming back into a show that’s actually dealing with these issues head on – it feels like maybe there’s a little progress there, or some hope, to have a show like this, and that you’re on it.

MC: I love it, yeah, and I love that I get to be on it. And to me it’s a wonderful thing because the images of women are so limited in television, you know. And then if you see somebody who is different than the girls that are like super-thin – then it’s like we’re treated like a visual joke. It’s like weight, just like race, becomes part of the issue. It’s like you can’t just have a person that has a different body size than the norm what is considered hot and not have to have that be the story – it’s like a weird thing. Why can’t all different types of women be considered beautiful? Why can’t we can’t we all be considered possible love interests? It’s very – I don’t know. I think things are getting better – just with the sign of a show like this is that things are getting better. I think maybe a show like this makes things get better.

MS: That’s what I hope. Talking about beauty – your last tour and concert film which I saw on Showtime and loved is called Beautiful, and you’ve said it was your official “coming out” as beautiful. I also saw you on “The View” last week and you said, “We have the power as women to call ourselves beautiful.” Can you talk about that?

MC: Well, it’s more like – I always thought that people told you that you’re beautiful, that this was a title that was bestowed upon you – that it was other people’s responsibility to give you this title. And I’m sick of waiting, people! [laughs] Waiting around for people to tell me that I was! I’m tired of waiting. And I think that the world is pretty cruel to women, in what it considers beautiful and what it celebrates as beauty. And I think that it’s time to take into our own hands this power and to say, “You know what – I’m beautiful – I just am. And that’s my light – I’m just a beautiful woman.” And I am just going to start talking about how beautiful I am, and people will start talking about it after I start talking it. And I’ve noticed – and I’ve done this now for a couple of years – and it’s changed the way that I carry myself, it’s changed the way that people respond to me, and it’s changed the way that I feel , and I think this is an important experiment and an important thing for people to do. To start telling people that you’re beautiful, or just feel beautiful, just start acting like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. And it really improves everything! Because your sort of psyche responds to it – like this is truthful! I think self-deprecation is such a disease, and I want to cure everybody of it and so that’s my contribution.

MS: And I’ve heard you say, which I thought was interesting, that even being able to call yourself beautiful is almost like a political act – where it’s not just something you do for yourself, for feeling good and self-esteem – but it’s also that the more women feel beautiful, they are more inclined to use their voice.

MC: Right. And express their opinion and feel powerful. Like when you feel beauty – and beauty for women is definitely power. When you feel powerful, you are willing to stand up for your rights, you are willing to stand up for what you believe in, you’re more willing to stand up and be counted. I think it goes deeper than just something that’s about looks or something that’s about any kind of sexual power or whatever – it really has to do with pride. And pride and a sense of self, and a sense of worth.

Read More of this Interview: Feminist.com

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Annoying Trend: Celebs Play Dumb About Body Image

Michael Jackson: Another Victim of the Fame Game

Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”: Racist or Revolutionary?

Gabby Sidibe in Bazaar: Curvy in Couture

Body image gets animated: What The Simpsons and Family Guy say about beauty

Music’s New Bold and Bountiful

The Truth About Celebrity Weight Loss

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Marie Claire’s “Love Your Body Issue” is a Big Fail

howoldwomen

By Elena Rossini

A couple of weeks ago I read that the November 2011 issue of Marie Claire South Africa featured several thought-provoking ad campaigns by major advertising agencies on the topic of “Love Your Body.” I thought it would be wonderful to showcase this in my documentary “The Illusionists.” Thanks to the fabulous Jill Greenberg, who’s a Facebook fan of the project based in South Africa, this past Saturday I received a copy of the special issue in the mail. And I have to say, I was in for a BIG surprise.

A more accurate title for this issue should have been: “Please hate your body and buy our advertisers’ products.” Yes, it’s that bad.

The person chosen for the cover of the special “Love Your Body Issue” is statuesque supermodel Candice Swanepoel, wearing a bikini.

To her left, you can see the following headlines:

  • 21 DAYS TO GET BIKINI READY
  • TSELANE TAMBO ON LIFE AFTER LIPO
  • WIN: FREEZE YOUR FAT OFF!

And finally, in huge bold letters: Special Issue. LOVE YOUR BODY. 6 TOP SA AD AGENCIES COMPETE TO SHOW YOU HOW.

The first thing that one notices while turning the pages of the magazine is that it looks just like any other issue of a major fashion magazine, full of ads for cosmetics and luxury brands, and showcasing young, extremely thin models – whose pictures are thoroughly airbrushed, even in “candid” photos.

Like this one for instance:

The models’ legs have a plastic quality. They look like Barbie dolls.

After 40-something pages of advertising and galleries showing the latest beauty products and fashion accessories, the special “Love Your Body” section debuts, with various thought-provoking ad campaigns by South Africa’s top ad agencies.

TBWA shows the painting of Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. Underneath it, the headline: “Why change a masterpiece, you’re beautiful the way you are.

Next, an ad by Saatchi and Saatchi, showing the corpse of an older woman on a metal table. The headline: “When will you stop worrying about your appearance? Love the body you live in.”

Case in point:

Left: the ad by Canvas Lifestyle, showing a Barbie doll with several markings on her body. “Add cellulite from favorite heavenly chocolate brownies” … “Add caesarian scar from your first-born son” … “Add laugh lines from girls’ night out” …

Right: An ad for the Burberry fragrance “BODY” with a model who looks like a real life Barbie doll. Which is kind of contradictory, no?

Next ad:

Left: a simple message by TBWA. “IMPERFECT. I’M PERFECT. Start seeing things the way you really are.

Right: an ad for the Dolce & Gabbana fragrance “Light Blue” – with flawless looking models whose bodies are thoroughly airbrushed.

Next:

Left: a collage of photos by Kristina Stojilokovic that says, “Which part of your body would the people who love you change?” with close-up images of women’s bodies: a woman’s freckles, a big scar, knees, a belly button, a mole.

Right: an ad for L’Oréal Revitalift. With the big headline “FIGHT THE 10 SIGNS OF AGEING, IN A SINGLE GESTURE.

Less wrinkles
Smoother skin
Firmer skin
Rehydrated skin
More flexible skin
Suppler skin
Even skin tone
Radiant skin
Refined pores
Defined facial countours

The rest of the magazine doesn’t fare so well.

There are articles like: “I GREW HAIR ON MY CHIN” – “LIFE AFTER LIPO” and “HOW OLD ARE THESE WOMEN?” which asks readers to guess the ages of six women.

Then: “4 Ways to Get Beach Body” Ready

The final verdict: I would give this special issue a “FAIL” grade – on all fronts. The only diversity it showcases is racial: thankfully there are many African models represented. Problem is: they all have the same age and body type. ALL OF THEM. Every photo is thoroughly airbrushed, giving women a plastic / Barbie-doll-like quality. Including most of the “love your body” ads. This issue is the equivalent of the Big Bad Wolf disguised as Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother. And this is quite sad, considering the opportunity Marie Claire had to promote positive body image.

To read more on the topic, check out my April 2010 review of Marie Claire France: “100% Without Airbrushing.

Originally published at The Illusionists. Cross-posted with permission.

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Remembering Ruby

ruby body shop

By Sharon Haywood

Fifty-something-old Barbie[1] might be middle-aged but she sure doesn’t show it. When she was in her 30s, her manufacturer Mattel sent her for plastic surgery, not to maintain her youthful appearance, but rather in response to market demands to morph her into a more realistic-looking doll. In 1992, Barbie’s waistline slightly expanded. Then in 1998, Mattel altered one version of the doll—Really Rad Barbie—giving her a decreased cup size and slimmer hips. Currently, her estimated measurements—38-18-34—contrast greatly with the American woman’s average of 41-34-43[2]. Barbie’s curves fall several inches short of what typical women possess today.

Considering that the average woman in the U.S. is a size 12/14, a doll that wears a double-digit dress size would be a much more accurate reflection of American women. The late Anita Roddick (1942-2007), the founder of The Body Shop, thought the same. In 1997, the socially-conscious international cosmetics franchise and Host Universal created Ruby: a chubby-cheeked, chestnut-haired, computer-generated figurine. Ruby was the brainchild of The Body Shop’s self-esteem campaign, “Love Your Body.” Her size 16 image was accompanied by the caption, “There are 3 billion women who don’t look like supermodels and only 8 who do.” She sent the message that you should love what you’ve got, not loathe it.

If you’re familiar with Ruby, you know that she’s not easy to locate. So, where’s this confident and curvaceous character been hiding? You can find her here, alongside other rejected and banned ads.[3] We can thank Mattel for Ruby’s label of “Banned.” The U.S. toy manufacturer thwarted the innovative campaign in its early days by serving The Body Shop with a cease-and-desist order; all posters had to be removed from American shops. Why? In Roddick’s own words:

“Ruby was making Barbie look bad, presumably by mocking the plastic twig-like bestseller … Mattel thought that Ruby was insulting to Barbie.”

Outside of Roddick’s explanation on her website, no other information regarding Mattel’s specific legal grounds can be found online. We can surmise that Ruby’s rolls and less-than-perky breasts were the offending culprits.

This year Ruby would have turned 14. But imagine if she had grown from being a self-esteem campaigner into a three-dimensional doll in direct competition with Barbie. Do you think that when she would have reached her 30s, she would have gone under the knife, too? Would the folks at The Body Shop have decided she needed a tummy tuck, a breast lift, and some lipo to give her a competitive edge? The Body Shop’s global communications head told the New York Times that Ruby represented “a reality check” in contrast to the “stereotypical notions of unattainable ideals.” Odds would tell us that the Rubenesque beauty wouldn’t have any part of her body nipped or tucked; in fact, like many women approaching middle-age, she might even have gained a couple of pounds. Regrettably, we’ll never know for sure.

Although Ruby’s existence was short-lived, her presence generated controversy. She caused Mattel to sit up and take notice. Along similar lines, consider that Barbie underwent cosmetic surgery to appease consumers’ demands. Although Mattel was conservative in its alterations of Barbie’s figure, the company did respond to the public. Furthermore, with sales of the blonde figurine consistently dropping,[4] the toy manufacturer has even more incentive to cater to the customer. If more and more women let corporate giants like Mattel know what they really want, who’s to say that Barbie’s waistline (and the rest of her) can’t fill out as she eases into her fifties? Something to ponder in memory of both Ruby and the visionary Roddick.

Originally published at Any-Body on June 21, 2009. Cross-posted with permission.


[1] When Any-Body originally published this post in 2009, Barbie had just turned 50 years old.

[2] I cited body measurements for White women ages 36 to 45 to reflect Ruby’s race. For the same age group, the average measurements for Black women are 43-37-46; 42.5-36-44 for Hispanic women; and 41-35-43 for Asian women.

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Beauty and the Double Standard of Aging

womenface

By Lisa Wade, PhD

Cross-posted from Sociological Images

Today I had the pleasure of reading a 1978 essay by Susan Sontag titled The Double Standard of Aging.  I was struck by how plainly and convincingly she described the role of attractiveness in men’s and women’s lives:

[For women, o]nly one standard of female beauty is sanctioned: the girl.

The great advantage men have is that our culture allows two standards of male beauty: the boy and the man. The beauty of a boy resembles the beauty of a girl. In both sexes it is a fragile kind of beauty and flourishes naturally only in the early part of the life-cycle. Happily, men are able to accept themselves under another standard of good looks — heavier, rougher, more thickly built. A man does not grieve when he loses the smooth, unlined, hairless skin of a boy. For he has only exchanged one form of attractiveness for another: the darker skin of a man’s face, roughened by daily shaving, showing the marks of emotion and the normal lines of age.

There is no equivalent of this second standard for women. The single standard of beauty for women dictates that they must go on having clear skin. Every wrinkle, every line, every gray hair, is a defeat.  No wonder that no boy minds becoming a man, while even the passage from girlhood to early womanhood is experienced by many women as their downfall, for all women are trained to continue wanting to look like girls.

These words reminded me of an idea for a post submitted by Tom Hudson.  Tom was searching for faces to help him draw and was struck by the differences in the results for “woman face” and “man face”:



 The wide variety of men’s faces, compared to the overwhelming homogeneity of the women’s faces, nicely illustrates Sontag’s point. Women’s faces are important and valorized for only one thing: girlish beauty. Men’s faces, on the other hand, are notable for being interesting, weird, wizened, humorous, and more.

On another note, the invisible but near total dominance of whiteness is worth acknowledging.

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“You Look So Much Different on Facebook…”

Facebook and Photoshopping

By Sheena Vasani

I admit it: I’ve Photoshopped myself. Some of my Facebook photos have had their contrast and lighting settings tweaked and four them have been properly Photoshopped, either professionally or by myself. Sometimes, I took photos of myself in mirrors at such bizarre angles that I’m still not sure how I managed to pull off without breaking my arm. At 15, I thought it was “artistic,” and more importantly it made my self-proclaimed “flaws” less noticeable. In desperate moments after seeing a recently uploaded picture of another girl’s equally oddly-angled, retouched photo, my jealousy would lead me to dress up just to take a few–okay, fine, maybe about 30–photos of myself to post on MySpace to try and feel less inferior.

Growing up I was no self-absorbed, vapid young girl; I hated reality TV with a passion, was heavily involved in community service and social justice groups in school, and even led and created a few. I barely ever touched magazines because I preferred books; my heroine was not Paris Hilton but passionate women who made a difference in the world through either their hearts or intellect. My favorite place was the local bookstore, not the nearby mall. Yet with the sudden popularity of MySpace back in 2005, I almost felt like I became a different person. I still did well in school, but time I once spent buried in a book in my free time was now spent staring transfixed at my friends’ photos on MySpace. I envied how photogenic they were, so completely oblivious to the fact these pictures were digitally altered.

Now, the purpose of revealing all of this isn’t to simply embarrass myself in public, but because I believe there should be greater transparency concerning Photoshopped images not just in the media, but also in our personal lives. Recently, I’ve been feeling like a hypocrite. As friends know, I can go off about the media’s negative influence on our self-image and spout out the most obscure statistics about it. Yet I feel like I’ve failed to take personal responsibility by posting digitally altered photos (or even pictures that don’t truly capture how I really look) on my social networking sites. Nowadays, I do it far less than I did when I was 15, but I still find myself sometimes uneasy about the pictures I post.

I’m not going to put myself down too much, though, and I don’t want our readers to be hard on themselves either. Self-compassion is far more empowering and effective than harsh self-criticism. I know the real reason I Photoshopped my photos because I, like most teens and young women, struggle with self-image issues from time to time. We live in a world that glorifies appearances so much so that it’s become okay to surgically and digitally change how you look. For goodness’ sake, it’s even “okay” nowadays to Photoshop photos of toddlers. There’s an underlying societal belief that it’s better to appear “beautiful” than to, quite frankly, be yourself.

Yet wanting to look good in itself is not a problem, and in fact, it’s wonderful. The problem comes when we pretend to look a certain way without making it clear the image is contrived. As a result, we perpetuate the problem. Like the fashion industry and the media, we encourage people to try to achieve an unattainable look. Our attempt to achieve a certain image can lead us to post pictures that are truly just products of our great retouching skills, which can influence others to do so as well. It’s a vicious cycle. It is one I’m trying to stop.

People need to realize that many pictures you see on sites like Facebook aren’t totally reflective of reality. Judging by the many websites and YouTube videos that teach even the least computer-savvy people how to alter their pictures, I’m guessing even more people are doing so at increasingly younger ages nowadays. I hope by sharing my own experiences, I might inspire people to not compare themselves to these false images, as I frequently have done and sometimes still do. Men see these photos unaware they have been manipulated and think “this is what a real woman looks like.” Consequently, a real woman never measures up. We need to be conscious of the effect our own photos have; it’s not just the magazines anymore. With the popularity of social media and how easily accessible it is to anybody, we are also responsible.

Earlier I mentioned how at 15 years old, I’d spend hours browsing through random girls’ MySpace or Facebook photos, unaware of the “wonders” of airbrushing and Photoshop. As a result, I sought to unsuccessfully achieve a look that could never be imitated, and kept it to myself. I am open about this now because I believe I am not alone, and I want this to be the first step toward increased transparency. I read an article that the American Psychiatric Association now requires physicians to ask girls if they use Facebook when evaluating them for depression and body image issues. That speaks volumes about the power of social media on our mental health; it’s more than just a fun diversion to pass the time. It’s now become a means of helping young people establish or ferment an identity that can often have harmful effects if used inappropriately.

I’m going to guess that you or someone you know has probably had my experience. And, to be even more frank, if you digitally manipulate your photos to look like the false “beauties” you once felt inferior to without making it clear you have, you’re unintentionally helping contribute other girls’ and women’s insecurities. I’m not saying *we’re* the problem. It’s far more complicated than that. But let’s try not to contribute to the problem by being a little more transparent. At the very least, we could write captions under our photos if they have been altered. We may not have a lot of control over how the fashion industry has chosen to represent females, but we do have control over how we choose to portray ourselves. Let’s try to be the change we wish to see in this world.

Related Content:

Help Expose the Real Illusionists

Is Airbrushing On Its Way Out?

Putting “Proper” Clothes on Mariah Carey

Debenhams Breaks Fashion Protocol Again

Editor of Self Gets Her Photoshopped Ass Handed to Her

Warning Labels on Photoshopped Models? “Oui” Say the French

In the Name of Girls: The AMA Calls for Magazine Ads to End Photoshopping Bodies

Kardashian’s Cellulite: A Complex Controversy

 

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Face Value? Study Claims Makeup Makes Women Appear More “Competent”

The NY Times reported on a study of 25 Black, White, and Hispanic women between the ages of 20-50 who were photographed wearing various levels of makeup.

The NY Times reported on a study of 25 Black, White, and Hispanic women between the ages of 20-50 who were photographed wearing various levels of makeup.

By Ophira Edut

Does the mascara make the woman? The New York Times published results of a study (see the article here) claiming that a moderate amount of makeup “increases people’s perceptions of a woman’s likability, her competence and (provided she does not overdo it) her trustworthiness.”

Granted, the study was funded by Proctor and Gamble (which makes me arch a penciled eyebrow), but it was designed by some scholarly folk, too. It’s yet another piece to fall into that uncomfortable realm of human-as-animal/biology-as-destiny that’s such a strange bedfellow with feminism and progressive ideals.

The notion that a woman has to wear makeup to be deemed a solid citizen is about as sophisticated as the old “are you a fall or a spring” palette method. I know plenty of bare-faced ladies who run empires. And trust me, nobody would dare questions their cred. However, I’ve also read studies that the brain can make a lasting first impression within as short as 1/10 of a second. I’m guilty of doing so. And I always get a laugh when people refer to Gloria Steinem as the poster girl for this stereotype of de-gendered feminism. Back in the day, Gloria’s feminist cred was suspect because she was so pretty. Gloria knows the power of being polished, even as she delivers a radical message.

I’ve been swiping on the same five-minute combo of eyeshadow-eyeliner-mascara for about 20 years. I do feel more polished and together with makeup on, though I skip the foundation and blush routine unless it’s a bigger event. I brave the trendy streets of New York makeup-free, too, but usually it’s just to run errands. So I guess along the way, I’ve been socially conditioned, too.

Part of the girlieness I enjoy is getting to play with colors, polishes and powders. It’s fun for the imagination, and harmless to a point. As long as we’re not talking Toddles & Tiaras “glitz” pageants and THAT slippery slope, of course. And thanks to Nirvana, Pete Wentz and the JoBros, boys can dabble in the fun, too. (Guyliner, anyone?)

The danger of such studies, though, is that makeup becomes compulsory, instead of fun.

We can no longer discount neuroscience completely. However, we can’t just take studies like this at, ahem, face value either. Findings like this discount the soul, the essence, the “anime” that we sometimes call inner beauty. Without charisma—which can’t be painted on—all the makeup in the world can only help so much.

Related Content:

Warning: Feminist Wearing Makeup Ahead. Look Both Ways Before Crossing

 

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Warning: Feminist Wearing Makeup Ahead. Look Both Ways Before Crossing

Woman's Eye

By Quinn Davis

“The only way I’m staying with you is if you stop wearing mascara.”

Sure, I had dated some d-bags before. But this guy competed for it in the Olympics, won the gold and then spent the next six years touring the country so that hopeful up-and-coming d-bags could look up to someone. Plus, some cereal could capitalize on his success (Shredded Douche!).

(Word to the wise: If you’re dating a woman who has a future in writing, has thought about writing or has written anything ever, you should consider treating her with more respect than your collection of Kerouac books. Cheers!)

Okay, back to the Cosmetic Conundrum. Count Douchula and I had been dating for a year or so when he decided to inform me that I was “just not interesting.” This morphed into me begging him to stay with me, which morphed again into him demanding that I make some changes, including my makeup.

Was he allergic to the product? you might ask. Did he feel insecure about his own lashes next to my lacquered ones? Did his mother die while driving under the influence… of mascara?

The answers were no and, shockingly, no and no.

Now for some background: I’m not some spineless leaf floating around waiting for someone, anyone, to pick me up and call me their own. The short way of explaining why I was in this relationship to begin with is that I wasn’t in a good place during my first two years of college, and Monsieur D’bag took this as an opportunity to practice for the Big Leagues.

I could go on and on about this relationship and all of its advantages, but I’m waiting to get Oprah famous before I allow karma’s spiked tail to strike – for the betterment of all the rest of us, believe you me. Besides, it’s difficult to explain why a woman stays in a physically and/or mentally abusive relationship; that subject needs a discussion or two million of its own. Instead, I’m going to use someone who used me (schadenfreude is not dead) to illustrate the fine line that feminists walk: Fighting socialized norms while following them.

It was the spring of my sophomore year, and I had just dipped my toe into the pool of feminism. It was exhilarating. Every word I read felt like someone else was describing me – to myself. I finally understood why things didn’t feel quite right when middle-aged men commented on my appearance. I got how fourteen-year-old boys learned to have the gall to look me up and down whether I stood alone or with my parents.

And – most importantly, at least in this piece – I saw how the desire to wear makeup was socialized into me as completely and concisely as a cult.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but my foray into feminism was the start of the disintegration of my relationship with Snap Crackle Douche. It helped me realize what a crap-tastic situation I was in. However, at the time of the Cosmetic Conundrum, the full realization was just a glimmer in my eye.

“If you’re such a feminist, how can you buy into the very things that are used to oppress women?” he asked.

To tell you the truth, I had no idea how I could. I mean, I liked wearing mascara. When I put it on, my eyelashes were transformed into these incredible, feather-like things that made me feel like a magical being. I was a friggin’ unicorn. Bam.

Of course, I now knew that this idea was tainted. Somewhere along the line, I soaked up the idea that unicorn eyelashes were what beautiful women had, and that being a beautiful woman is very, very important. All that shiz was subconscious, which is exactly why it was successful. Would it really work if someone came up to me and actually said the above sentences to me? Uh no, and it’s not just because I would have thought that whatever “unicorn eyelashes” were, they would make me look like a drag queen.

So here I was, caught up again in douchery, trying to explain why I did what I did. I lost the argument, spent the next month trying to find a satisfying lie (“It’s just a bet, and if I win, I get a pony!” <-not a finalist) and yearned to unveil the HOLY CRAP!-worthy lashes I had been blessed with.

A month and a half later, I sat in my feminist psychology class, trying to look and sound as awesome as the seniors next to me. Once again, feminism decided read my mind and explain myself to myself. My professor explained:

“It’s hard enough to feel forced into making a decision without being punished for making it. Believe it or not, a lot of people actually do like whatever thing society is telling them to do. You can’t socialize someone into liking something and then ostracize them for liking it. I know the media and beauty industry made me think that I needed mascara. I’m a feminist! But now I love it. I love it for me. I can go without, sure, but I just love the way it looks.”

FaBLAM! In case you’re confused, that was the noise of the logic bomb that went off in my head.

The point of feminism isn’t to proclaim how women should be. In fact, that’s the opposite of feminism. Feminism is about people choosing for themselves, without societal, familial or any other pressures getting in the way.

If you’re only aware of societal pressures on a subconscious level, it’s damn near impossible to make a truly feminist choice. I certainly didn’t when I first started to wear mascara.

But now that I was able to choose what I wanted while recognizing those pressures, I realized that mascara was one of my forms of expression. I loved my unicorn lashes, polka dots and pigtails not just because of how they made me look, but because it broke people’s stereotypes. They would walk in, see me as a harmless puffball and then be hilariously confused as the cuteness started swearing like a sailor, calling the shots and kicking anyone who touched her junk (yes, really).

Once I figured all this out, I went back in my mind to that argument I lost, just like everyone does. I would tell him that as a feminist, only I would choose the way I present myself, as long as it does not harm myself or anyone else. If I choose something that I’ve been socialized to like, I am no less a feminist than my Burt’s Bees and Birkenstock-wearing sisters.

And best of all, I would have actually said it, batting my unicorn eyelashes the whole way.

Related Content:

Face Value? Study Claims Makeup Makes Women Appear More “Competent

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100 Days Without Mirrors

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Editor’s Note: On those days when you look in the mirror and all you see is ugly, avoiding your own reflection can be an effective on-the-spot strategy in breaking the cycle of negative self-talk. But what might be the consequences of giving up mirrors for an extended period of time? Could it trigger a more positive view of your body? Or would it have the opposite effect? Kjerstin Gruys has taken the leap to live without mirrors in the hope that it will help her heal from poor body image.

On March 26, 2011, self-described “feminist fashionistette” decided to abandon her own reflection for 365 days as a way to explore the negative relationship she has with her body. And if that isn’t enough of a challenge, Gruys is to be married this October. We are wowed by her experiment and we think you’ll be, too.

Here’s the lowdown on the first 100 days.

By Kjerstin Gruys

Three months ago while shopping for my wedding dress I decided to stop looking at myself in the mirror … for a year. This decision was motivated by my growing frustration with my poor body image; I was tired of feeling vain, insecure, and indecisive. As a feminist academic who studies the relationship between “beauty” and social inequality, I also felt like a hypocrite. Could ditching mirrors force me to re-prioritize?  Here’s a “reflection” on my first 100 days.

1) FEASIBILITY: YES, I have been able to almost completely remove mirrors from my life, and I no longer feel dependent on them. This feels is pretty phenomenal.  Still, it’s been really difficult, and sometimes I still slip up. In other words, I’m not yet 100% mirror-free. Mirrors and reflective surfaces are everywhere and even the most stringent measures haven’t prevented accidental glimpses. (Darn those ATM security cameras!) These peripheral peeks have been mostly benign, but every so often, “seeing myself” has led to “looking at myself,” which is totally against the rules.

At first, these little cheats were motivated by burning curiosity (insecurity?) about my looks but I’ve calmed a bit about that (see below for details). Recently, however, I’ve been mourning the loss of creativity that used to go toward my daily makeup, hairstyling, and outfit choices; I look longingly at my exceedingly excessive collection of abandoned beauty products, and I am SO tempted to push aside the curtain hung over my bathroom mirror and play! The good news is that these urges seem motivated by body-positive creativity, instead of body-negative insecurity. But I still have some work to do.

2) TRUST: When I first started avoiding mirrors I felt paranoid about my appearance.  (Heck, sometimes I felt paranoid that I didn’t even exist when I couldn’t see myself!). I became that annoying woman who constantly asks everybody, “Do I look okay?!,” and was unnerved to discover that I didn’t even trust people when they told me I did. This was profoundly depressing. Had I ever trusted a compliment on my looks??

The paranoia has faded (though I am still very curious about my looks), and I’ve learned that my friends and family are much kinder to me than I typically have been to myself.  Yes, people let me know when I have mascara on my nose or food on my shirt, but pointing out a mouth full of poppy-seeds is drastically different from the disapproval (or disgust) that I used to project at my reflection in the mirror. I’ve started to trust these outside opinions a bit more, and my critical self a bit less.

So …. do I have FANTASTIC BODY IMAGE now? Well, no. But I never expected to reverse a 15+year issue in only a few months. That would be ridiculously simple, and – as is true for most women – my body image remains ridiculously complex. Yet, I’m seeing small positive changes and these give me hope.

3) WEDDING ANGST:

A few weeks ago I challenged myself to complete all 37 items on TheKnot.com’s Bridal Beauty: Countdown to Gorgeous list without looking into a mirror. (My wedding is in October.) So I got my eyebrows waxed without seeing the results, I downward-dogged with only my sister’s perky rear to guide my form, and I bared my soulto the world-wide-web regarding my body image struggles. Yet, the item on this list that scares me the most is the only item I’m NOT ALLOWED to complete. The last thing I’m supposed to do before walking down the isle, is:

“Take a few moments to reflect on the meaning of the day before giving yourself one last once-over in the mirror.”

Yeah, that “last once-over in the mirror” is definitely not permitted in the rules of my project. But, I’m scared I’ll regret not doing this. Not only will I be desperately curious to know what I’ll look like as a bride, but SO many trusted, sane, wise, and not-ridiculously-vain women in my life (hi, Mom!) have told me that I NEED to take a moment alone to see myself on the day that I get married. I’ve been told that this won’t be about my looks, but about quietly recognizing myself for just one quiet moment during a whirlwind day of momentous transition. And that doesn’t sound so bad, right?

Or …. maybe this moment-in-front-of-the-mirror thing is just one more overly-romantic bridal “must-do” myth, and I’d be buying into it at the cost of this project’s integrity. I don’t have the answer yet, and probably won’t until that moment arrives (or doesn’t).

What do you think?

* * *

Kjerstin Gruys is a Ph.D. Candidate in the Sociology Department at UCLA where she’s writing her dissertation on clothing size standards in the fashion industry. At her blog, A Year Without Mirrors, she’s chronicling her commitment to avoid her reflection for 365 days. Twitter: @NoMirrorMirrors

Cross-posted with permission.

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Help Expose the Real Illusionists

Illusionists

By Sharon Haywood, Co-Editor

“To men a man is but a mind. Who cares what face he carries or what he wears? But a woman’s body is the woman.” Filmmaker Elena Rossini cites this quote from writer Ambrose Bierce as her third reason out of 30 for creating The Illusionists, a full-length documentary about how the body has been transformed into the “finest” consumer object worldwide. As www.theillusionists.org explains, author Germaine Greer referred to women as illusionists “as they ‘fake the roses in their cheeks, the thickness, color and curliness of their hair, the tininess of their waists, the longness of their legs and the size and shape of their breasts.’” But the real illusionists—the beauty industry and mass media—are exposed in Rossini’s documentary as the culprits who unscrupulously sell unattainable beauty:

“They create, shape and maintain our shared beliefs, values, and rules, promoting aspirational ideals of female beauty that are very difficult – if not impossible – to achieve, in order to create new needs and apprehensions that fuel a 500 billion dollar industry.”

Rossini and her team have set up a fundraising campaign that needs your backing. They have chosen Kickstarter, an incredible online fundraising platform that provides creative projects the opportunity to reach out to like-minded folks like you for support. The ask? $33,000 in 43 days. At the time of writing this, $16,000 has been donated and 29 days remain. An amazing amount of money in two weeks. But Kickstarter has a catch—the project abides by an “all-or-nothing funding method.” In other words, if the project fails to reach 100% of its funding goal by August 5th, all pledges will be lost.

With footage from around the world, including Europe, the United States, India, and East Asia The Illusionists will present a truly global close-up at “how mass media, advertising and several industries manipulate people’s insecurities about their bodies for profit.” The film’s list of experts is impressive: Psychotherapist and author of 11 books, including Fat is a Feminist Issue and her latest, Bodies, Susie Orbach; author and filmmaker Jean Kilbourne, most recognized for her groundbreaking film series about women and advertising, Killing Us Softly; and the founder of Women in Media & News and author of Reality Bites Back, Jennifer Pozner. Plans are in the works to interview others, such as the famed writer and philosopher Umberto Eco and the controversial photographer, Oliviero Toscani well known for his multi-racial Benetton ads. What’s more the film will also include testimony from advertising executives, magazine editors, scientists, historians, and sociologists.

I can think of a few more solid reasons why we need to see The Illusionists: it will act as an invaluable educational resource “making viewers more empowered consumers of media,” provide people with a tool to help them reject the self-esteem crushing messages from marketers, and it might even act as a catalyst for change in how women are represented in the media. But none of that can happen without your support.  Rossini explains that,

“there is a lot of censorship surrounding these issues. Funding the film independently, through people’s donations, is the only way we can be completely candid about these topics, without interference from media companies.”

That’s where you come in. With only 29 days and $17,000 to go, Rossini and her team are relying on you. The last but definitely not the least important reason Rossini has chosen to make (and fund) The Illusionists is number 30 on her list: “Because I feel inspired by this quote by Margaret Mead: ‘A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.’” Be part of the change. Extend your support and help the Illusionists team meet its goal. The repercussions are bound to be long lasting.

* * *

Visit The Illusionists Kickstarter campaign to make your pledge (which also comes with cool rewards like a DVD of film).

More about the filmmaker: Rossini’s previous work is outstanding. At just 25, she wrote, produced, and directed the full-feature narrative fiction film, Dove Sei Tu. She was also commissioned by the Louvre museum and ARTE Web to create the powerful short documentary, Ideal Beauty in which she compares and contrasts how beauty has been expressed via art with mass media’s current version of the physical ideal. More recently, notable projects include being the cinematographer for Three Days to See (director Garrett Zevgetis) and filming Lili’s Journey, in which she interviewed the Her Majesty Queen Rania of Jordan.

 

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You’re So Perfect…Except for Your Boobs

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By Melanie Klein

“Look! I married you a certain way! I like women who look a certain way! It’s my right to like women who look a certain way and I shouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life not being happy,” Brad exclaimed.

The retort from my friend Jasmine’s husband was a reaction to her staunch refusal to get ‘another set’ less than two months after removing the implants that nearly cost her her life.  For nearly a decade Jasmine endured numerous health complications that Western doctors claimed had nothing to do with her silicone breast implants.

Brad seemed different from her last fiance, which is why Jasmine married him. He seemed open-minded, kind, forgiving, gentle, nurturing, and accepting. When she sprouted a few stray gray hairs in her late twenties he urged her not to pluck them saying he loved her “wisdom hairs.”

Tim, her boyfriend a decade earlier, told her she was perfect and the “girl of his dreams.” Well, almost. She was the girl of his dreams except her breasts were too small and she’d be perfect if they were bigger. In fact he’d marry her if she’d consider breast enlargement surgery. Within a week Jasmine, then 18 years old in 1990, found herself under the knife. When she woke up the static and lifeless silicone orbs on her chest were much larger than what she had agreed to during the initial consultation. The consultation that came within days of her halfheartedly agreeing to consider them.

Jasmine was genetically tiny and naturally beautiful by today’s standard. Now she embodied the girl on the back of a trucker’s mudflap. Tim’s version of the perfect wife. As promised, they were quickly engaged and twenty-five-year-old Tim, the ‘hot guy’ in town, paraded her around like a trophy–until she had the courage to leave him for being emotionally abusive and controlling.

I met Jasmine a few years after her plastic surgery and we became tight friends. In numerous intimate conversations she confided in me about her implants and Tim, her body image issues, and her distrust of men. These conversations were plagued by a deep sadness and marked by intense insecurity and regret. With her striking eyes and “porn star body,” Jasmine commanded a lot of male attention, attention that she deflected and tried to avoid by dressing in ways that diminished her figure.

I was one of the only people that knew how uncomfortable this attention made her and how much she longed to have her original body back. Shortly after leaving Tim, she began looking into removing the implants. She was repeatedly told by male doctors that she would be ‘disfigured’ and that there was no sound reason to have them removed. That is until they began to break down inside her body and wreak havoc on her immune system.

By the time she began noticing her brittle hair and general dis-ease, Jasmine had developed into a smart, sharp-tongued feminist with a penchant for alternative holistic medicine and healing modalities. Eight years after the initial breast implant surgery, four years after finding her feminist voice, and two years after discovering massive amounts of hair shedding on her clothes and furniture, Jasmine fell off her mountain bike with her chest landing smack down on the handle bars.

She heard an audible tear and immediately knew one of her implants had torn. She went to her doctor and he blew her off, as did the countless doctors after that. They waved her off as an irrational, over emotional, and slightly insane woman. The following year she married Brad and within months of their wedding the symptoms of a ‘crazy’ woman began to increase.

She discovered that:

Studies have shown rupture rates to be 50% to 60% in silicone implants 10-15 years old,[24] with one study showing a failure rate of 6% per year for the first 5 years, 50% at 10 years, and 70% at 17 years.[22] Twenty-one percent of women in one study, following implant rupture, had silicone gel migration out of the fibrous capsule of scar tissue that surrounds the breast implant.[24] These studies utilized MRI, which has been shown to be 74% to 94% sensitive and 85% to 98% specific in detecting implant rupture.

Over the course of the next year:

  • Her hair had become so brittle that chunks would fall out, leaving bald spots on her scalp.
  • Her face was permanently bloated.
  • She developed large cystic acne in her lymph node areas of her armpits, neck, jawline, and the sides of her cheeks.
  • Her digestive track became paralyzed and completely shut down. She was unable to defecate for a month. It took three weeks of daily colonic treatments to remove the compacted fecal matter.
  • She also began to develop cysts, which turned into tumors around her nipples and across her breasts.

Most Western doctors declared the symptoms as unrelated and, again, chalked up her concerns to the rants of a highly paranoid and overly sensitive drama queen. Jasmine had to diagnose herself through her own research on Dow Corning’s polyurethane-coated silicone breast implants and heal herself (keep herself alive) to the best of her ability by seeking out alternative health care. Her research confirmed the source of her failing health as more and more women spoke out publicly and Dow Corning endured scrutiny for their product.

Despite her list of growing health problems, many doctors encouraged her to leave them in precisely because Dow Corning was under current pressure to remove silicone from the market. Their reasoning? Silicone implants feel better than saline implants and if she were to remove her silicone implants and replace them with saline she would look and feel less desirable.

Eventually, she found a doctor that not only agreed to remove her implants, but told her that if she didn’t have them removed she wouldn’t live to see her next birthday. After long discussions with her husband, her mother, and myself, she scheduled a removal date. I took off a week from graduate school, borrowed some money from a friend, and flew five hours to be with her.

Shortly after they were removed, Jasmine regained mental clarity, felt less scattered, her body became stronger, and she felt generally relieved. And that’s when Brad dropped the bomb on her.

“When do you think you’ll be ready to replace these with the next pair with saline implants?

At this point, Dow Corning’s silicone implants were off the market (only to be reintroduced in 2006, a decision that was deemed “sound” mere days ago). Jasmine made it clear that she had no intention of replacing them. She reminded Brad that he had been supportive of her decision to remove them and that he had taken vows to love her in sickness and in health. That’s when he retorted with his right to be with a large-breasted woman, like the one he originally married. Jasmine’s feelings of rejection and fear were confounded when they divorced a year later following Brad’s affair with a buxom hostess at work. She was mortified and depressed.

Not only did Jasmine’s marriage fail, she began to notice a shift in attention from men–attention that shifted away from herself and to women now younger than she with fuller bust lines. Despite the initial pressure into getting breast implants, her regret over getting implants and the fact that they nearly ended her life, she confided in me that there were several occasions in which she contemplated getting that next pair.

Jasmine’s story reveals many things. First and foremost, it demonstrates the incredible pressure girls and women feel to embody an unrealistic and dangerous beauty ideal. It also exposes the mental and emotional health risks and the incredible and painful risks women are willing to take in order to embody an ideal of perfection. Because in the end, as bell hooks proclaims in Communion: The Female Search for Love, being beautiful is about being loved. Girls and women understand from an early age that we’re primarily valued by the way we look and that if we can achieve this oppressive beauty ideal, we’ll be rewarded. In the words of hooks, girls and women strive to “make [themselves] over, to become someone worthy of love.”

Like more and more women, Jasmine became aware of the damaging fallout caused from pursuing a society’s singular beauty ideal. Her awareness was shaped by her personal experience as well as from her feminist consciousness, which was informed by the continued efforts of the feminist movement. But as hooks points out, awareness is not enough.

To solve the problem of body self-hatred, we have to critique sexist thinking, militantly oppose it, and simultaneously create new ways of seeing ourselves.

 

Editor’s Note: Last week the FDA stated in a report that breast implants are safe but will fail within 10 years. Here’s an excerpt from the report:

The longer a woman has silicone gel-filled breast implants, the more likely she is to experience complications. One in 5 patients who received implants for breast augmentation will need them removed within 10 years of implantation. For patients who received implants for breast reconstruction, as many as 1 in 2 will require removal 10 years after implantation. The most frequently observed complications and outcomes are capsular contracture (hardening of the area around the implant), reoperation (additional surgeries) and implant removal. Other common complications include implant rupture, wrinkling, asymmetry, scarring, pain, and infection.


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