"What kind of fat-free muffins do you have? Oh, really? Alright, then, I'll have a cup of coffee and a bagel. Do you have fat-free cream cheese?"

So begins my first interview on women athletes and body culture.

I had approached Lisa in the gym—she was pumping iron, and clearly had been for some time. In our conversation she indicated that a few years ago she had begun to be "disgusted" with a twenty-pound weight gain and decided to make massive changes in her lifestyle. Aerobics led to weight training, which became increasingly serious. "I'm a natural athlete because it's fun to do," she tells me. "It's not about body image."

Yes, I think, then why did you put Nutrasweet in your coffee instead of sugar?

All of the women to whom I spoke initially discussed athletics as a way of utilizing their strength and power, building muscle as a way of being able to kick ass—in competition, in self-defense, at their day jobs. Sports foster a confidence that spills into all other aspects of one's life, I was told again and again.

And there is little question that this is true; studies showing increased self-esteem in girls who play sports have long been i the public domain. They learn to set, meet, and exceed goals, they learn team-building skills, they learn that they are as good, that they are better. Most athletic women love knowing that they can do 75 push-ups, or run 10 miles, or win the match. This is all pretty obvious.

However, there are fewer places than the gym where the real struggle of third-wave feminism becomes evident. We know that we are supposed to want to work out solely for our health, for strength, for endurance... yet the age-old demon of body image still rears its ugly, media-driven head. We want desperately not to care whether that grueling workout had any effect on our butts and thighs, we want only to be concerned with our heart rates and endorphin kicks. Of course we are not lying when we say that we enjoy the power. But the fact remains that there may also be the guilty pleasure of vanity in there as well.

I always thought that real feminists didn't buy into the ludicrous late-twentieth century beauty ideal in which hips are tight, stomach is flat. We were supposed to be over that garbage, right? Isn't it true that truly strong women don't care about their looks? Yes and no. Again, the weight-lifter and the kickboxers, the competitive sailor and dancer all used words like challenge, fun, tough, energy, stress-reduction, and health to explain why they do what they do. Yet they used other words, too.

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