Many people consider being called "fat" the kiss of death. The fear of gaining weight—or of being seen as fat—is greater than the fear of destroying their health with punishing diets and exercise.

Fat discrimination, some activists argue, is one of the last truly acceptable forms of prejudice in America. "She can go on a diet and change that," people say. "After all, there's Slimfast, diet pills, and a gym at every turn."

Today, many women are choosing to describe themselves as fat—proudly.

"Fat is an adjective, like black, short, or blonde," explains Alice Ansfield, publisher of Radiance: The Magazine for Large Women. "Unfortunately, it's been used against us,as though 'fat' and 'ugly' go hand in hand."

And fat, Ansfield argues, is a lot less judgmental than overweight. "Over what weight?" she asks. "Is there some perfect weight I'm supposed to be at? Our bodies are all different because of our genetic makeup."

As for the 120-pound woman who stares in the mirror and moans, "I'm so fat!" Ansfield comments, "People who are not experiencing the struggles of society's size discrimination should not call themselves fat."

While she acknowledges that all women suffer from some degree of body hatred, Ansfield points out the distinct difference between not fitting into a size 8 dress, and not fitting into a bus seat, a restaurant chair, or a movie theater aisle. And longing to lose ten pounds is different than weighing so much that you're routinely denied health insurance, or discriminated against by companies who stereotype you as lazy and unemployable.

Adds Ansfield, diets simply don't work. "You can't live in a state of deprivation forever," she says. "And who wants to? There is a person here. We need to be gentle with her, to allow her to feel pleasure. That's good living."

To help large women enjoy the good life, Ansfield pioneered Radiance Tours. Since 1994, she has led groups of large women on cruises to Alaska and the Caribbean. For many, it was the first time they wore shorts and swimsuits—Ansfield herself hadn't put on shorts for 20 years. "A lot of women live from the neck up," says Ansfield. "We hadn't allowed this much joy or pleasure into our lives in years."

Her advice to ALL women is to walk with your head up, and to never, ever apologize for your size. "Get into your body," she adds. Treat yourself to a massage, an hour in a hot tub or a sauna. Dance naked in your room, or go out and shake whatever your mama gave ya. Take a walk for enjoyment's sake—and leave the five-pound barbells at home. ***

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