>>A friend of mine used to tear pictures of models out of magazines and tape them to her wall. She said it gave her "inspiration" to work out.

But how inspiring could it be, I wondered, to surround yourself with pictures of people you could never actually look like? (At least, not without the help of surgery, an airbrush, and some DNA scrambling.)

This same friend only frames photos of herself that make her look thin. The rest stay sealed in their Kodak envelope, as though the FBI might raid her bedroom one day, discover a few extra pounds, and drag her to a maximum-security prison.

Take a look at the images you surround yourself with. How do they make you feel? If it's inferior, ugly, imperfect, or bad, a ceremonial ripping-down may be in order.

One thick woman I know decorated her room with images of voluptuous, full-hipped goddesses, who were not only considered beautiful, but powerful. Another created a "wall of inspiration" with pictures of women from her family who had loved and supported her for who she was.

How do you find that inner goddess? Start with a full-length mirror. Many women play a love-hate game with mirrors, gazing at the parts we like, and avoiding the ones we don't. We never looking at our bodies as they are. Instead, we pick ourselves apart like chicken dinners, scrutinizing our thighs, our breasts,our legs. And what we see in the mirror is often no reflection of what is really there.

Find some private time, even if it's just a few moments. Then take off your clothes, and look at yourself. Let the hateful thoughts run their course, then pass. It will clear space in your mind for positive ones to replace them. Don't turn away from your reflection -- try to clear your mind of judgment and keep looking.

Now look closely at those parts you struggle with most. Do they remind you of anyone? Perhaps those full hips once belonged to your great-great-grandmother. If not for them, you may not even be here—her size could have helped her to survive pregnancy and childbirth. Our bodies are living family albums. Pay homage to your ancestors by loving the body they gave you and the legacy it represents.

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