Pink Notes: Another War Between Head and Heart




By Jill “Pink” Sedares

I find Susan Sarandon to be one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. I notice my shape is very similar to hers. Does she find herself beautiful? Does she fight between her heart and her head?

Next month I will be 48 years old.  My waist is naturally getting thicker, that is what happens, ‘aint nothin’ I can do to stop it. My feelings are mixed. A part of me feels excitement about it, even beautiful, sexy! That comes from my heart, my self-accepting, loving, unconditional heart.

It’s the head again that I’m fighting with, the head that absorbs all of society’s misguided judgments and unfulfilling conditions. The head constantly reminding me I’m not perfect. I’m not living up to societal expectations. I’m too curvy. I can’t wear SKINNY JEANS! In today’s world it seems that not wearing skinny jeans is downright unacceptable.  And, yes, I struggled with that war too…

Am I still good enough without skinny jeans? Advertising certainly makes it clear that I’m not.

HOWEVER, I made it over the skinny jeans stumbling block, and I’m making it through the aging process. My path to self-acceptance is getting a little easier.  Although fleeting, I am having moments of feeling incredibly sexy. I will continue to travel down this healthy road of self-love and fight the demons of these recordings.

I am beautiful. I am healthy, strong, loving, and loved. Now THAT is something I wish we as a society were focused on promoting: health and love.



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