Pink Notes: Another War Between Head and Heart



By Jill “Pink” Sedares

I find Susan Sarandon to be one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. I notice my shape is very similar to hers. Does she find herself beautiful? Does she fight between her heart and her head?

Next month I will be 48 years old.  My waist is naturally getting thicker, that is what happens, ‘aint nothin’ I can do to stop it. My feelings are mixed. A part of me feels excitement about it, even beautiful, sexy! That comes from my heart, my self-accepting, loving, unconditional heart.

It’s the head again that I’m fighting with, the head that absorbs all of society’s misguided judgments and unfulfilling conditions. The head constantly reminding me I’m not perfect. I’m not living up to societal expectations. I’m too curvy. I can’t wear SKINNY JEANS! In today’s world it seems that not wearing skinny jeans is downright unacceptable.  And, yes, I struggled with that war too…

Am I still good enough without skinny jeans? Advertising certainly makes it clear that I’m not.

HOWEVER, I made it over the skinny jeans stumbling block, and I’m making it through the aging process. My path to self-acceptance is getting a little easier.  Although fleeting, I am having moments of feeling incredibly sexy. I will continue to travel down this healthy road of self-love and fight the demons of these recordings.

I am beautiful. I am healthy, strong, loving, and loved. Now THAT is something I wish we as a society were focused on promoting: health and love.

3 thoughts on “Pink Notes: Another War Between Head and Heart

  1. You know, “skinny jeans” is just a wanky trend name for “tight jeans”. With the “skinny” tacked on to make women hate their bodies all the more.

    Buy some tight jeans. Wear the damn things. Tough titties to anyone who doesn’t like it – if you do, rock it, and be damned with anyone who wants to get all judgemental up in your face. Anyone who cares what age you are or what shape your butt/thighs/ankles/belly/whatever is has got too much time on their hands!

  2. 10 years ago there was no such thing as “skinny jeans”. Yet now we all feel as though if we can not fit them we are fat, ugly, not worth love, etc. In fact, just saw on tv the Jenny Craig commercial (again lose weight to be happy) where the actress actually states all happily how she’s now “wearing skinny jeans”……like that is the path to happiness. so sad, yet we seem to all be in this war, in the trenches together.

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